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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DSis so ill - NHS doesn't care

253 replies

Worriedandpowerless · 01/04/2023 19:22

Regular user NC.
My younger sister is in her late fifties and has been unwell for about 6 months. First went to her GP in October and was repeatedly sent away. Not the type to bother them.

Over the last 10 weeks she's lost over 3st, doesn't leave the house, in constant pain, vomiting, and now sleeps all the time. It is clear she's very unwell and getting worse fast now.

GP finally took her seriously 8 weeks ago and sent for some basic bloods and scans, which identified a possible cause - referred on the NHS and was told the first appt was Aug 2023. She doesn't have much money but paid for a private initial specialist consult and was referred back to the GP as the finding wasn't actually serious enough to be the cause of her problems. I genuinely think if we'd have waited for the NHS she'll have died waiting (might still do).

Pain and all got worse so her GP did then refer on the '2 week' cancer pathway which actually just meant a telephone consult at the end of 2 weeks, with tests booked for 2 weeks after that. Still waiting for the results. Mean time bloods came back to her GP and were very concerning so she was told to get more bloods... You guessed it, another 2 week wait!! She has another diagnostic test booked for 2 weeks time.

None of her care is joined up and she's never actually seen the NHS specialist in person. A nurse saw her as part of a test this week and mentioned she was dehydrated but did nothing about it.

I'm not sure what the point of this thread is. I'm terrified she is going to be one of those cases you read about that she either dies waiting for various tests or they diagnose something very serious and she's deteriorated so much it can't be treated.

Does anyone have any experience or advice? I don't think I can get the NHS wheels to move any more quickly but I could use my life savings to pay for a private clinic where they just do all the tests and get the results in days - does this exist? What else could I do?

OP posts:
Mirabai · 30/05/2023 20:41

I think it’s really worth putting in a complaint direct with the GP surgery because your sister’s GP needs to learn from this.

trying29 · 30/05/2023 20:44

We are going through something similar with FIL. I have gone direct to NHS England to complain and they’ve come back and said they will then raise with GP on our behalf. I can fwd details

FatAgain · 23/07/2023 07:00

@Worriedandpowerless

hi op, I was wondering how your sister is?

lljkk · 23/07/2023 16:34

@Worriedandpowerless2, I hope your sis is being kept comfortable.

2023issucky · 25/07/2023 10:48

Just checking in. Going though similar with dad at the moment. They knew he had cancer, slow growing but there. Were crap about his treatment times and then didn't do his maintenance treatments. Now it's spread and aggressive.
Hope your sister is doing ok.

Worriedandpowerless2 · 08/08/2023 13:10

Hi, thanks for the concern @lljkk @FatAgain

She died around 10 days ago. Lots of failings in nhs care start to finish. I'm going to try to request her records and make a complaint but it all feels futile.

parliamoglesga · 08/08/2023 13:12

Oh @Worriedandpowerless im so sorry to read this.

Jantlet · 08/08/2023 13:21

@Worriedandpowerless

so sorry to hear that Flowers

Georgieporgie29 · 08/08/2023 13:29

I am so sorry for your loss. I’m sorry her treatment from the nhs was as bad as it was but she was lucky to have you as a sister 💐

notapizzaeater · 08/08/2023 17:59

@Worriedandpowerless2 so sorry to hear this.

My DH died due to NHS negligence - his nurse was really pushing me to do a PALS complaint and I resisted at first but she kept pushing so I did. The report (was upgraded to an incident) helped and they have changed the system so it shouldn't happen again at my hospital.

RandomMess · 08/08/2023 18:31

So sorry, it's been a complete shit show.

FlowersFlowersFlowers

DisquietintheRanks · 08/08/2023 18:40

TomatoesAndPeaches · 01/04/2023 19:45

She cant keep anything down, is vomiting, dehydrated and in pain

That IS a reason to go to A&E

This!

Ds was admitted to hospital via a&e last autumn because we just couldn't manage at home whilst we waited for an urgent gastroenterology appointment. He was admitted directly due to pain and dehydration and worrying blood results. Admission only shortened his treatent pathwayby maye 5 days but 5 days is a long and dangerous time to be in pain and unable to sustain hydration.

DisquietintheRanks · 08/08/2023 18:47

I am so sorry @Worriedandpowerless . Please ignore my last post -I filtered and read your posts but it didn't pick up your update for some reason.

Jujubes5 · 08/08/2023 18:55

A slim friend lost 4stone it was thyroid problems -but I would imagine that is ruled out by the tests.

Google -
ypercalcemia is usually a result of overactive parathyroid glands. These four tiny glands are situated in the neck, near the thyroid gland. Other causes of hypercalcemia include cancer, certain other medical disorders, some medications, and taking too much of calcium and vitamin D supplements.

Jujubes5 · 08/08/2023 19:00

Sorry -I see issue has moved on

Bloodyleaverspartybollocks · 08/08/2023 19:19

So sorry. What a shit show. You poor thing having to deal with this.

newnamechangeforthisone · 08/08/2023 19:20

So sorry OP. How's things now?

AutumnCrow · 08/08/2023 19:33

I've just read your whole thread through, OP, and I'm so very sorry. Flowers

Dropchain · 08/08/2023 19:41

I'm so sorry to hear this news. I've been watching your thread but missed your new name with updates. I hope you get some kind of apology or recognition of failings, although I understand why it feels futile.

Poppyseed14 · 08/08/2023 19:43

I'm so sorry to read your update xx

AmbleInAnnBoleyn · 08/08/2023 19:49

I am so sorry to read your update, deepest condolences to you all.

lljkk · 08/08/2023 20:18

Thank you for taking time to update us.
Condolences. Flowers

Moveforward · 08/08/2023 20:42

So sorry to hear this x

MegaGengar · 08/08/2023 20:57

I'm so, so sorry for your loss OP.

winewolfhowls · 09/08/2023 08:25

I am so sorry to see your update, my thoughts are with you.

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