To think my friends aren’t coming?

[UnluckyCoil]

Arranged earlier in the week for a catch up round mine which is a rarity as my DH is away- both friends agreed to come.
This morning at 9am, put a message in the group chat asking what time they were coming so I can make sure my house is tidy, make sure baby is asleep etc and neither have them have replied or even opened the message.
They are the kind of people who have theirs phones with them 24/7 so can’t imagine they’ve not looked at their phones for 8hrs.
I don’t mind but I guess I just want to know either way.. and I’ve bought drinks and snacks. I’d feel embarrassed to put a chase message in the group chat.
They aren’t coming are they?

They're no friends OP. How awful for you. I'm sorry

I wonder if they haven’t confirmed just in case a better offer came along. I have my fingers op but get cracking on the wine and snacks, don’t save them much.

Me too I’m so sorry that’s awful of them !

I thought they would come 😔

People are here for virtual company and at least you have lovely snacks

You can chat to us, we are way nicer than them anyway

If they’re your real friends I’d give them the benefit of the doubt at this point as it’s only just after 7 and they could be having nightmare days. I would definitely text again though and ask “are you on your way? Wine is in the fridge!” (or whatever) then see if they reply or come.

If they don’t turn up or reply by 8 I’d say “I’m really upset not to have heard from either of you by now. It seems like you’re not going to come and not even text to let me know? I feel really let down. I was looking forward to seeing you both. Has something happened?”

That is so bloody rude of them.

Sorry op 💐

My friends are becoming more and more like this. I've just stopped arranging stuff. No one seems to contact me now. I'll come round to yours.. I have mini eggs and wine in the cupboard I can bring!

I'd put something very blunt on the thread. "I've bought in snacks and drinks for tonight and turned down other offers as we'd made arrangements for you to come by. I'll see you soon and if you're blanking me I will be thoroughly let down and upset."

That’s crap if they haven’t turned up. How close are you all? I’d never dream
of not rocking up to an evening I said I was going to attend, unless I was ill or another emergency.
ps - I’ve never been a fan of the phone and I’m in my 50s. When email started to be a thing in my late 20s I rejoiced!!

That's awful, really fucking rude if then

Arseholes. At least you know they're not worth any more of your time.

They aren’t friends op, couple of shits! Put ya feet up. Lock the door, eat your crisps and anything else you fancy! I wouldn’t actually send a message back I’d ignore them, they would be ex friends!

Your friends are rude.

It literally costs nothing to have manners and they could quite easily just message you to say “sorry can’t make it”.

Don't let them do this to you again.

Sorry OP, that’s rubbish! I think you should enjoy your wine, turn off your phone and enjoy a movie. Fuck them. Definitely tell them how shitty their behaviour was though tomorrow.

Or go full passive aggressive now and do the picture thing someone upthread said, say you’re waiting and have poured them a glass. Make them feel like twats.

In terms of the phone call - if you message a friend and they read and don’t respond, I can absolutely guarantee they aren’t going to answer the phone.

That's really rude that they would both ignore the messages, so they have form for being flakey?

Aw I’m sorry OP, that’s really shitty of them. Enjoy your wine and snacks.

OP, that is crap of them. I'd sack them off as friends if I were you.

As for the people who won't phone people... I am mindblown by this. I phone my friends all the time, and they phone me. We might also exchange random texts, but we talk. Are people generally more flaky about arrangements since people stopped speaking to one another?

I always confirm with a phone call ahead of meeting friends, as do they with me. I actually like talking to people on the phone, which I now realise makes me weird.

Yikes, they’d be ex friends! In fact, I did end a friendship after someone kept cancelling and being flaky with me (as in repeatedly with obviously doubtful excuses). It’s not only rude, it assumes you have nothing better to do than hang around. Weekends are precious and so is your time.

I'd be so upset. I wouldn't do this to a neighbour or acquaintance, let alone a friend.

Isn't it just after 7 in UK? They could be en route? surely it's too early for all the drama?

Just can't understand how people can behave so badly.

If they'd rather be out (for example) on a Saturday night then why not just decline?

I couldn't phone though unless I was really angry, angry enough to get me through the horrendous awkward silences of a conversation like that!

You don't need social incompetents like this, OP. If they don't turn up or get in touch, it's just sad for them that they don't have nice manners. They deserve your pity really, don't they! You sound lovely, and you don't need to spend time dwelling on this. Have you seen Ghosts? 4 seasons available to binge on 4oD (or whatever they're calling it now). Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Do you not think one of them would have replied to the messages in the last 10 hours if they planned to come?