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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my friends aren’t coming?

549 replies

UnluckyCoil · 01/04/2023 17:16

Arranged earlier in the week for a catch up round mine which is a rarity as my DH is away- both friends agreed to come.
This morning at 9am, put a message in the group chat asking what time they were coming so I can make sure my house is tidy, make sure baby is asleep etc and neither have them have replied or even opened the message.
They are the kind of people who have theirs phones with them 24/7 so can’t imagine they’ve not looked at their phones for 8hrs.
I don’t mind but I guess I just want to know either way.. and I’ve bought drinks and snacks. I’d feel embarrassed to put a chase message in the group chat.
They aren’t coming are they?

OP posts:
IDontWantToBeAPie · 01/04/2023 21:23

MrsDoylesDoily · 01/04/2023 18:23

I can't believe how many people on this thread would rather sit and wonder, than phone their friends??

How do you all manage your telephone aversions at work? 😳

We call people. We just absolutely hate it and feel uncomfortable the whole time 😂

NeedToChangeName · 01/04/2023 21:23

OP hasn't been back, I hope that means the friends turned up, abeit late and they're having a fun evening

Pinkespressomachine · 01/04/2023 21:23

Hiya

if your friends arrived then I hope you have a great night. If they haven’t then quite honestly I’d get rid!

Having a new baby is the perfect time to start making some new friends at baby groups etc - you can ‘trade up’ to some lovely, deserving woman who know how to treat friends properly!

Isahlo · 01/04/2023 21:28

UnluckyCoil · 01/04/2023 19:01

I will another day. A bit deflated tbh as I rarely do things like this and thought they were better than that.

I hope you are ok?

Lolaandbehold · 01/04/2023 21:28

Oh OP, who needs friends like that. Even if they have shown up, it wouldn’t have killed them to respond to you.

FlissyPaps · 01/04/2023 21:30

Redebs · 01/04/2023 19:02

I think one of us should call them on OP's behalf and give them a right talking-to

A random stranger from the internet calling another random stranger on behalf of another random stranger on the internet …. Yeah because that’s completely normal isn’t it? 🙄

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 01/04/2023 21:32

Do you only ever invite them over when your DH is away?

Weallgottachangesometime · 01/04/2023 21:33

That’s so rude of them!!!

BigFatLiar · 01/04/2023 21:33

Wondering now if they turned up.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 01/04/2023 21:44

Hope they have turned up and you're having a good time
It's rude of them not to reply

NBLarsen · 01/04/2023 21:55

How incredibly rude of them! And hurtful too. They accepted your invitation. Sometimes things come up, but they should have got in touch to let you know they couldn't come if that was the case. Also, both of them?
If it was me I'd be blanking them for a while to come and I'd expect a very grovelling apology.

MMMarmite · 01/04/2023 21:57

Assuming they didn't turn up, then what crap friends. I think you'd be better off ditching them.

Tiddler39 · 01/04/2023 22:03

Craftycorvid · 01/04/2023 19:18

Yikes, they’d be ex friends! In fact, I did end a friendship after someone kept cancelling and being flaky with me (as in repeatedly with obviously doubtful excuses). It’s not only rude, it assumes you have nothing better to do than hang around. Weekends are precious and so is your time.

This assumes that you have other friends though.

Dumping friends can mean you then have no one (I know that might still be better than having crap friends).

It’s not that easy to just ‘make new friends’.

winterchills · 01/04/2023 22:04

I hope they did turn up. If not i would never speak to the pair of cows ever again!!!

Lavenderflower · 01/04/2023 22:04

What a bunch of bitches.

ChrisPPancake · 01/04/2023 22:07

Hopefully you've not been back on here because your friends did show up @UnluckyCoil .

tachetastic · 01/04/2023 22:07

So did they turn up? Sorry, I read page 1 and then flicked to page 10 but couldn't find a spoiler! 😮

Tiddler39 · 01/04/2023 22:08

DaphneDeloresMoorhead2 · 01/04/2023 20:04

Reading this thread it's no surprise that the Youth of Today can apparently only communicate via messaging. Many of their parents appear completely unable to manage simple communications with people they are actually friends with !

I think many friendships these days are based on a sort of unwritten ‘cool friend’ code where if people cancel/don’t show you’re supposed to just say hey, no worries, catch up soon.

I think calling would have looked really pushy and controlling in this situation.

It does my head in, but that’s the reality.

PuddlesPityParty · 01/04/2023 22:10

tachetastic · 01/04/2023 22:07

So did they turn up? Sorry, I read page 1 and then flicked to page 10 but couldn't find a spoiler! 😮

Why not use the feature where you can just see OPs posts? But no update, possibly because they showed up.

Jennybeans401 · 01/04/2023 22:11

This is the problem with a group message too. It's just easy to assume someone else is going so there's no need for you to reply or turn up.

I would have responded either way, they sound very rude.

tachetastic · 01/04/2023 22:13

PuddlesPityParty · 01/04/2023 22:10

Why not use the feature where you can just see OPs posts? But no update, possibly because they showed up.

Because I'm a man and just asking is easier! 😂

But seriously, I did not know about that feature. Thanks.

Phoebo · 01/04/2023 22:23

PuddlesPityParty · 01/04/2023 22:10

Why not use the feature where you can just see OPs posts? But no update, possibly because they showed up.

Samsung doesn't have this on the app

Whenharrymetsmelly · 01/04/2023 22:26

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 01/04/2023 19:53

It would only solve her problem if they answered the phone. What makes you think that, while they’ve ignored messages all day, a ringing phone will make them leap into action?

There are so many “I can’t believe no one just calls anymore” posts on this thread - but if you know a lot of people don’t like using the phone these days (as you must do given you’ve made the comment), you surely also know that those same people are perfectly capable of ignoring a call.

This is such a stupid comment, so you're suggesting not to phone them because they might not answer the phone. Surely phoning is the obvious solution. How is it that so many get by in life with next to no social skills. Some mumsnet people are so weird 😐

Gilmorehill · 01/04/2023 22:27

UnluckyCoil · 01/04/2023 19:01

I will another day. A bit deflated tbh as I rarely do things like this and thought they were better than that.

Sorry Op. That’s shitty behaviour.

Jitterybugs · 01/04/2023 22:27

I hope they were on their way when OP sent the last message and they didn’t take the time to reply as they were almost there. I hope I’m not clutching at straws here.

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