Page 23 | To ask the most annoying/bizarre flex/boast you've heard?

phonemouse · 2023-03-31T19:19:05+00:00

One that gets me is people boasting about how 'tiny' they are, but one that always makes me laugh is my MIL proudly mentioning on way more than one occasion how narrow SIL'a feet are like it's something really special 🤣🤣

TheNine · 02/04/2023 20:54

Women boasting about having their babies with no pain relief. I just think, Congratulations - you must have a really massive fanny!

ReneBumsWombats · 02/04/2023 20:54

SacreBleugh · 02/04/2023 20:50

There's someone in my book group who tells us all at some point on book group evenings that she weighs 9 stone 2. EVERY FUCKING TIME.

"That reminds me, let's read The Idiot."

Blossomtoes · 02/04/2023 20:58

TheNine · 02/04/2023 20:54

Women boasting about having their babies with no pain relief. I just think, Congratulations - you must have a really massive fanny!

Nasty.

QueenoftheFarts · 02/04/2023 21:00

I'm afraid I'm a big baby gold top tits bragger.

After four years of miscarriages I was just chuffed to bits at my body finally doing its job and producing a fat baby and great milk.

My next baby was very premature, and I have also shared with friends that his uniform was specially made in age 1-2 when he started school because it didn't come in his size... but it was never to brag in those mentions, it was just marvelling at hoe small he was. He's a totally average sized man now.

I think some of these stories are harsh, some of them, like birth stories are women sharing testimony of a massive experience in their lives.

I am always careful not to share the horrors my vagina experienced during birth to women who are pregnant.... but if you've had kids then let's bond over the horror of pissing with stitches or that first dreadful postpartum poo....

ReneBumsWombats · 02/04/2023 21:01

big baby gold top tits bragger.

Hmm. I'm in the market for a new username...

Thepossibility · 02/04/2023 21:01

TheNine · 02/04/2023 20:54

Women boasting about having their babies with no pain relief. I just think, Congratulations - you must have a really massive fanny!

WTF

Hardbackwriter · 02/04/2023 21:09

Ukrainebaby23 · 02/04/2023 20:24

Lack of space between teeth, my teeth are crowded and its difficult to clean between, even the mini brushes are too big. If I mention it to anyone, as an explanation of my awful teeth, and need for regular dentist, apparently they have much smaller gaps and I'm really not that afflicted.

If this is coming up often enough for you to have noticed then you are talking about the size of the gaps beneath your teeth too often

drmelons · 02/04/2023 21:13

Can you give some advice on the best way to respond? I never really know what to say in these situations.

Badgerline · 02/04/2023 21:15

For decades now, my MIL and I have secretly competed about the size of our head. I can wear children's glasses and hats, and for some reason, my MIL wants to beat me on this score. She boasts about being able to fit into children's tiny head gear.
However, her head is actually on the square side, and would never accommodate such small apparel. It's an unspoken of battle.

drmelons · 02/04/2023 21:17

limitedperiodonly · 02/04/2023 14:18

@CandlelightGlow but lots of us already know the things you are explaining because they and we live it.

I can't have been the only person who has listened to a person with anorexia detailing their eating habits (or non eating habits), expressing revulsion at the normal food consumption of others and worst of all, disrupting the lives of family and friends to often distressing and extreme levels.

My job sometimes involves talking to people with anorexia and other eating disorders and anorexics are some of most infuriating people I meet. The act of talking to me, unburdening themselves and imparting their wisdom while controlling the narrative is an extension of their addiction, which is about the need to control themselves and to a certain extent, others. I know it when I am listening to it. Luckily, I don't live with one.

I feel sympathy for anyone in the grip of any addiction who is experiencing emotional pain. I truly don't believe such people want to inflict pain on others but the reality is that they do. Like I said: it is not my problem to solve.

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Forgot how to use mumsnet there for a moment!

Can you give some advice on the best way to respond? I never really know what to say in these situations.

ReneBumsWombats · 02/04/2023 21:17

Badgerline · 02/04/2023 21:15

For decades now, my MIL and I have secretly competed about the size of our head. I can wear children's glasses and hats, and for some reason, my MIL wants to beat me on this score. She boasts about being able to fit into children's tiny head gear.
However, her head is actually on the square side, and would never accommodate such small apparel. It's an unspoken of battle.

The feet and wrists and overall teeny tiny thing I can understand because, bullshit as it is, those are frequent supposed markers of feminine beauty.

But a small head? Where does that come from? I'm sure you look great and all in proportion, I've just never heard of head size, big or small, being a beauty marker...

PoorlyDS · 02/04/2023 21:19

ItsBeginningToScabOverNow · 31/03/2023 22:50

My mother has this thing around medical issues. No matter what you have/had done, hers has to be bigger/worse/more shocking to the doctor.

Every single conversation even slightly linked to talk of illness or hospital ends up with her telling many, many stories about her medical issues and how a doctor said she was the best patient or had the highest pain threshold they’d ever encountered etc.

I have a relative like this. The most unusual hip joint the surgeon has ever seen, the worst case of x, the longest colon - I could go on

AliceDownTheRabbitHole · 02/04/2023 21:26

Women who boast about not having any pain relief during childbirth. And?

Badgerline · 02/04/2023 21:27

Well it's not about beauty at all, it's the principle of the matter. THE LIES. I'm the only one with the small head!
TBH, I don't really understand it myself.

Violinist64 · 02/04/2023 21:34

AliceDownTheRabbitHole · 02/04/2023 21:26

Women who boast about not having any pain relief during childbirth. And?

Yes, this one. I am totally unashamed to say that I had epidurals. They were wonderful.

Smilethoughyourheartisaching · 02/04/2023 21:36

MIL tells me regularly she only shops at local farm shops for her groceries. Well if I had nowhere to go and nothing to do like her I might be able to find the time to go to 10 different shops whereas I just click and collect from one shop.

limitedperiodonly · 02/04/2023 21:46

Can you give some advice on the best way to respond? I never really know what to say in these situations.

@drmelons we all have to work it out for ourselves.

LovelyIssues · 02/04/2023 21:53

My friend who constantly points out out how small she is and how tiny her feet are. I'm 5"4, a size 8 and size 4 feet. So fairly average. She makes out I'm huge lol!

SpaghettifingerFusillitoe · 02/04/2023 22:09

@PoorlyDS 😅 the longest colon?!!

ReneBumsWombats · 02/04/2023 22:18

SpaghettifingerFusillitoe · 02/04/2023 22:09

@PoorlyDS 😅 the longest colon?!!

Doesn't that make her literally full of shit?

teaandcake123 · 02/04/2023 22:20

To my shame, I once recounted (as a boast) something that a slightly weird midwife said to me; that I had the perfect shaped breasts for breastfeeding …”small breasts and big nipples”. Even as I uttered the phrase I realised how ridiculous and ugh I sounded…have never repeated it since.

Namechangethisonetime · 02/04/2023 22:31

Blossomtoes · 02/04/2023 20:58

Nasty.

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And absolutely wrong.

Holihobbies · 02/04/2023 22:34

Have also been on the receiving end of the gold top comment - makes me think it's a stock phrase health visitors or midwives drag out for insecure nervous or anxious breastfeeders.

Can anyone explain why having small wrists makes it impossible to wear bracelets ? Surely you can get links removed or buy adjustable ones. I have this image of poor delicate wristed women literally stuck to table tops, weighted down. Or do they actually mean they have really weirdly small hands that the bracelets just slide off 😂

ReneBumsWombats · 02/04/2023 22:37

Holihobbies · 02/04/2023 22:34

Have also been on the receiving end of the gold top comment - makes me think it's a stock phrase health visitors or midwives drag out for insecure nervous or anxious breastfeeders.

Can anyone explain why having small wrists makes it impossible to wear bracelets ? Surely you can get links removed or buy adjustable ones. I have this image of poor delicate wristed women literally stuck to table tops, weighted down. Or do they actually mean they have really weirdly small hands that the bracelets just slide off 😂

They often swamp your wrist and don't look right, and if they're bangles, yes they can fall off, since small wrists often go with small hands.

You can wear bracelets, just not big ones or larger bangles.

ghostyslovesheets · 02/04/2023 22:39

Because of the nature of my client group I access some of their records daily (to keep up with court appearances etc) - colleague with different client group - in front of the whole team:

Me - mentioning a client we had both worked with and their current situation

Her - 'tinkly laugh' oh I WISH I had TIME to spend scrawling through client records

Erm it's my JOB queen!