Page 22 | To ask the most annoying/bizarre flex/boast you've heard?

phonemouse · 2023-03-31T19:19:05+00:00

One that gets me is people boasting about how 'tiny' they are, but one that always makes me laugh is my MIL proudly mentioning on way more than one occasion how narrow SIL'a feet are like it's something really special 🤣🤣

ReneBumsWombats · 02/04/2023 18:10

Hippoh · 02/04/2023 18:01

Liquid gold... you had the best milk! She wasn't trying to make you feel shit... quite the opposite.

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I think she meant that other people were telling her their midwives said they had gold top milk. So she felt crap.

I was a fucking wet nurse with both of mine. Pure luck. Nothing to brag about. Got mastitis. Nobody can tell which kids were breast or bottle fed now anyway.

MrsMrsD · 02/04/2023 18:15

My MIL at every opportunity will tell everyone she can't open jars or tins after fracturing her wrist. It was 8 years ago!!! In the beginning I said several times she should find a better physio then I realised she was enjoying it. She manages to open things when she thinks nobody is watching though.

vaccinistatotebagchicbarista · 02/04/2023 18:18

IDontWantToBeAPie · 31/03/2023 20:33

Oh god the foot thing is no joke. I have fairly small feet but a friend is a Size 2 and she doesn't half bang on about it.

“I buy all my shoes in the kids section!”

ok…….? 😂

ToWhitToWhoo · 02/04/2023 18:22

Zogmando · 02/04/2023 18:01

Got to be the subtle as a brick “oh have yours not broken up yet?” humble question brag from those with kids at private schools 🤣

Not sure that's necessarily intended as a brag. Though when I was a kid, I really did think that people who went to private schools were paying for the privilege of having longer holidays!

clareken260 · 02/04/2023 18:30

I ad an older colleague sneer at the chick lit book another colleague left on my desk. He said "I am reading "Bleak House" at the moment", and, without thinking I said "I read that when I was 13". He stopped sneering.

graysquirrel · 02/04/2023 18:33

My mother equates success in life to how tidy your handwriting is. My husband is much more successful in our joint area of work as a result. Not because I happily took a step back to an easy PT role to be around our young children, but because of handwriting that our employers probably haven't seen in over 15 years!

ReneBumsWombats · 02/04/2023 18:37

clareken260 · 02/04/2023 18:30

I ad an older colleague sneer at the chick lit book another colleague left on my desk. He said "I am reading "Bleak House" at the moment", and, without thinking I said "I read that when I was 13". He stopped sneering.

I wonder what he thinks of Jane Austen...

Chick lit is just a term to denigrate books by women, about women and for women. The kitschy covers probably don't help, but all those rugged-looking thrillers for men aren't any weightier.

ToWhitToWhoo · 02/04/2023 18:50

graysquirrel · 02/04/2023 18:33

My mother equates success in life to how tidy your handwriting is. My husband is much more successful in our joint area of work as a result. Not because I happily took a step back to an easy PT role to be around our young children, but because of handwriting that our employers probably haven't seen in over 15 years!

She wasn't a teacher in the Wimbledon area in the 1970s, was she?!

MarvellousMonsters · 02/04/2023 18:58

When parents of formula fed babies marvel at how much weight baby has gained. I don't understand. "OMG baby heffalump is already 15lb, at 3 weeks old, draining 8oz every 2 hours...."

So you're over feeding your baby and surprised that they are overweight.

JWhipple · 02/04/2023 19:13

We had a trainer who blathered on about how he'd been through a tough divorce but was now dating a much younger woman. On and on about how she was much younger and nothing else about her. It somehow went on for ages though. The female trainer politely asked what his girlfriend's name was and what she did for a living.

He answered "26"

JWhipple · 02/04/2023 19:14

Daffodilwoman · 31/03/2023 23:38

Men who boast about having a much younger wife.

We had a trainer who blathered on about how he'd been through a tough divorce but was now dating a much younger woman. On and on about how she was much younger and nothing else about her. It somehow went on for ages though. The female trainer politely asked what his girlfriend's name was and what she did for a living.

He answered "26"

ReneBumsWombats · 02/04/2023 19:16

JWhipple · 02/04/2023 19:14

We had a trainer who blathered on about how he'd been through a tough divorce but was now dating a much younger woman. On and on about how she was much younger and nothing else about her. It somehow went on for ages though. The female trainer politely asked what his girlfriend's name was and what she did for a living.

He answered "26"

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Was his name Alan Partridge?

toxic44 · 02/04/2023 19:54

DP's mother (not the sharpest knife in the box) 'Oh I can never find a hat to fit me, I've such a tiny head,' smirk, smirk. How many times have I longed so say, 'That's because you've got a tiny brain.'

feelinhopeful · 02/04/2023 20:01

Daffodilwoman · 31/03/2023 23:32

Boasting how small your child is “Oh It’s such a pain buying Araminta’s clothes , even though she’s 14 she still fits into age 9, even harder trying to find size 1 pointe shoes.”
Boasting that your husband is tall, always over 6feet tall. Nobody cares.
Boasting about thin feet as if you have done something good.
Boasting about a quick birth and having a small baby.

I wonder if you know me

My DD is small for her age and was in size 1 pointe shoes when first fitted. The reality was she had to choose between two crusty old pairs that had been in the shop for the last 30 years as nobody else had needed a pair that small!

Newname221 · 02/04/2023 20:06

MarvellousMonsters · 02/04/2023 18:58

When parents of formula fed babies marvel at how much weight baby has gained. I don't understand. "OMG baby heffalump is already 15lb, at 3 weeks old, draining 8oz every 2 hours...."

So you're over feeding your baby and surprised that they are overweight.

Did you really just call a three week old baby “overweight”

simiisme · 02/04/2023 20:07

I've had gallstones & given birth twice. One of the labours was appalling (days, not hours) One left me needing an operation to repair my internal muscles (fast & furious, quite a large baby)
Gallstone pain made me, at various times, faint, collapse (very embarrassingly, on a pavement, in town) throw up and lose control of my bladder and bowels. I was prescribed pethidine to cope with the pain until I could have my gallbladder removed.
So, yes, labour was preferable. Although no man has the right to compare any pain to labour pain.

Mylittlefanny · 02/04/2023 20:14

My kids were on the bus, sneezing. Constantly wiping their nose. Woman opposite holding a 3 month old in a sling, eying me up looks like she walked out a Boden, toast catalogue. Smirked at me,( I don't wear your average yummy mummy clothes) looked me in the eye. And said In a superior voice I breastfeed so my baby won't ever get a cold.... 🙄. Mine both decided they wanted a feed at the same time. So I popped them on my boobs tandem fed them and smirked at her 😉. Said oh been tandem feeding for 3yrs now... Her jaw dropped and she decided she wanted to be friendly. I just ignored her! Smarmy cow

Sensibletrousers · 02/04/2023 20:20

SerenaB12 · 31/03/2023 20:43

I know someone who consistently draws attention to her small wrists.. she's in good shape, very intelligent..but at any given point you will have to hear her frustration at not being able to wear watches/bracelets... because of her tiny wrists.. 🤣

I think there’s something about women having small feet, hands and wrists being a good thing in older generations. Like being “dainty” and as small as possible like Disney princesses… I’ve always had (older) women comment approvingly on mine and it always baffles me. Rest assured Mother Nature balanced me out though with a MASSIVE ARSE and a healthy double chin.

Ukrainebaby23 · 02/04/2023 20:24

Lack of space between teeth, my teeth are crowded and its difficult to clean between, even the mini brushes are too big. If I mention it to anyone, as an explanation of my awful teeth, and need for regular dentist, apparently they have much smaller gaps and I'm really not that afflicted.

YourTruthorMine · 02/04/2023 20:25

People bragging about how tall their kids are, always on Mumsnet

bubblybeth97 · 02/04/2023 20:30

I saw on my Peanut app once a mum speaking about dummies and said something along the lines of how she would never use a dummy for her child because she loved his lips and wouldn't want to cover them up 🙃 I started using a dummy because of my baby's reflux to help settle him, made me feel really shitty at the time because I hadn't wanted to use one but it really worked

Rainbowmama2023 · 02/04/2023 20:31

Just want to say that I truly believe every mother should be proud of her birth and how she brought her baby into the world

But since being pregnant and being around new mums it seems like those who gave birth without pain relief like to brag about that. At first it never used to bother me but I feel like some mums wear it like a badge of honour. Of course you should be proud of your birth, drugs or not. I just didn’t realise it was such a thing. I’m 35 weeks pregnant and get told by mums who gave birth without pain relief “do you think you’ll need pain relief? I didn’t, I bossed my way through it unlike some people”

Mary54 · 02/04/2023 20:33

SIL always mentioning how worried she was about giving birth as she had such narrow hips.

And a business contact complaining about a meeting because it was ‘sooo boring being stuck with 20 other alpha males’

youshouldnthaveasked · 02/04/2023 20:46

My SIL calls her daughter my little trailblazer. She’s 8. I’m pretty sure she hasn’t done anything worthy of this title as
im pretty sure we would have heard about it. I hate my in laws 😂

SacreBleugh · 02/04/2023 20:50

There's someone in my book group who tells us all at some point on book group evenings that she weighs 9 stone 2. EVERY FUCKING TIME.