To ask a mum to keep her kids quiet on the train?

[Wiennetta]

I specifically booked a seat on a quiet carriage as I’m working on a 4 hour train journey (as are most people in the carriage, or reading, snoozing etc). Next to me on the other side of the aisle is a mum with a two year old who is watching his iPad on full volume. He has been running around up and down the aisle with another child, shouting, screaming and so on.

I was trying to concentrate on something, listening on my headphones and politely asked the mum if they could keep it down - at this point the kid was literally next to my seat, in the aisle, jumping up and down and shouting. She just said, ‘he’s two, what do you expect me to do?’

I mean they’re kids, they’re little, they’re bored. But AIBU I thinking the parents should at least try and moderate their behaviour, remind them to be quiet, try and get them to sit down and do something a bit calmer? Even if it’s not always successful?

Or preferably not book the bloody quiet carriage.

😂

People book or go to quiet carriages because they need to sleep/work or need peace and quiet for other reasons- they may be travelling for chemo, to a funeral, or anything, for all anyone else knows. It's bad enough if people let their kids be a damned nuisance in other carriages, they ought not to do that there either, but in the quiet carriage EVERYONE needs to be quiet- including self-entitled adults with mobile phones and the like.
In Ye Olde Days kids used to have to go to church, and had to be silent most of the time when there, like adults. They managed that, curiously enough. Kids can be taught from very young that different behaviours are appropriate for different places.
I do make a point of complementing kids and their parents when kids behave well, incidentally, and thanking them. I don't expect kids not to talk, I expect them to be asking questions etc. some of the time. That's natural. And sometimes they get a bit excited, that's natural too, they just need reminding to pipe down. They may need to be taken for a walk down the train from time to time to stretch their legs a bit. But they can be taught to behave quietly and not run about. It's a good opportunity for lessons in respect for other people, and self-control- lessons which will be a great help to them as they get older, too.

I'm sorry to be the one to point this out, but ...

GrinAndVomit
I’ve said we won’t go.
... Good

I’m obviously a shit parent and human being for [being so selfish as to think I could inflict a Disney Film with sound on a train to other passengers.]
... Yes, true; you are.

I’ll stay home and keep my shit parenting and shit kids out of public.
... Again, good. Well done.

Sometimes it's hard to think of other people, GrinAndVomit. Nevertheless, it is the right thing to do.

I have taken children and grandchildren, older and younger than yours, on trains many times. I would not dream of letting them play films without earphones. That doesn't make me a super parent or grandparent. Just normally considerate of others. But, yes, not a shit person. You are getting that right finally.

I am aghast at your attitude here. Your parents let you down really badly, bringing you up with such a lack of consideration for people around you.

It has to be said. Sorry, and all. But you need to know.

Yours did a fantastic job. You’re so kind and considerate ❤️❤️

I would try nice, soft over the head earphones @G@GrinAndVomit@GrinAndVomit@GrinAndVomit@GrinAndVomit@GrinAndVomit@GrinAndVomit@GrinAndVomit@GrinAndVomit@GrinAndVomit

Perfect response @GrinAndVomit 😂

I really wouldn’t let the grumps on here put you off. My children watch my phone without headphones in, the volume is barely audible and no one is disturbed. They aren’t allowed out their seats unless we are all going to the toilet together and they understand to be calm and quiet. They will also read and play eye spy (much louder than watching the phone!)

Wholeheartedly think people are much more miserable and unpleasant on here than they are in RL, can’t begin to imagine why.

Yes indeed. Touché. I do hope you don't feel too bad about that. It is the truth, though, and if you think about it, it might well do you good.

Parenting can be so hard. But stick with it. Do your best.

Sorry for my insane phone glitching!

I meant to say it's a bit like instilling the non-negotiable rule of wearing a bike helmet (or they don't get to go on the bike). If they learn that watching screens with no headphones is just completely unacceptable in public, it will be much better for everyone in the long run! (I wish everyone would learn that fricking lesson, however quietly you think you're playing it, you are DEFINITELY annoying others around you!)

He sounds adorable. I’m sorry you had to travel under such worrying circumstances.

We don’t travel by public transport very often and they don’t the the iPad very often. We wouldn’t have the car this weekend for the trip there but would have had it for the way back.

As I say, the older two are fine. The little one was fine until a few months ago when I could feed and rock him to sleep, but now he has started walking confidently and I struggle to keep him still.

I’ve cancelled our plans for Sunday. It’s clearly just not doable with the little one at the moment.

Annoyingly last time I booked a long train journey up north (2 adults and 2 kids) we were put in the quiet carriage without any pre-warning and I spent the whole journey being paranoid I was going to piss someone off. Sometimes people don’t realise it’s the quiet carriage, sometimes the booking isn’t clear, sometimes the parents just don’t care and sometimes…genuinely…you can’t keep a 2 year old quiet. Believe me that I’ve been in your position and felt incredibly annoyed at parents not keeping their kids under control but I think the best thing to do in this scenario is to ask the guard if you can move rather than ignite a debate with the parent themselves. Best to pick your battles sometimes.

In the quiet carriage YANBU

Oh I’ll certainly try @sewexe

I could only dream of being as empathic and kind as you though.

(Wistful sigh)

Why do people who want to play disney films not get headphones. They are £20 and the best money I've spent.

Thank you. That’s a very kind and brave (under the circumstances) response 🙂 I genuinely appreciate it

Kids talking and playing I Spy is not annoying. The tinny sound of a phone playing is unbearable - and if its loud enough for them to hear, so can other passengers. And they learn that it's ok to play stuff out loud on public transport which it really isn't!

Stupid woman. It's the quiet carriage! And she should have headphones for herself and her dc. I hate entitled twats like this. I'd have complained. And told her about the quiet carriage. Then gone to find the train conductor.

I can guarantee someone is disturbed. It's seriously annoying. I seldom speak up for a number of reasons when I'm travelling, including that people who do this don't tend to be particularly reasonable. If people do it directly behind my cab when I'm driving I will open the door at the next station and insist they move or use headphones.

Absolutely nobody needs to be listening to devices in public without headphones. So bloody selfish when there is a simple solution.

She an entitled ignorant bitch

My 2.5 yr old is perfectly happy watching Peppa with the volume off when travelling. Until she'll put up with wearing headphones it's silent TV or no TV.

I had a long train journey with toddler DD and our reserved seats were in the quiet carriage it was hell

I kept her entertained though with toys and books and she watched my phone with the sound all the way down, couldn't imagine having it full volume or talking on the phone on loudspeaker! YANBU

Rather have little 'uns than a hen party. GAH!

Yes it will. I take 2 tablets and 2 sets of headphones. It's never going to be OK to be playing things out loud