To ask a mum to keep her kids quiet on the train?

[Wiennetta]

I specifically booked a seat on a quiet carriage as I’m working on a 4 hour train journey (as are most people in the carriage, or reading, snoozing etc). Next to me on the other side of the aisle is a mum with a two year old who is watching his iPad on full volume. He has been running around up and down the aisle with another child, shouting, screaming and so on.

I was trying to concentrate on something, listening on my headphones and politely asked the mum if they could keep it down - at this point the kid was literally next to my seat, in the aisle, jumping up and down and shouting. She just said, ‘he’s two, what do you expect me to do?’

I mean they’re kids, they’re little, they’re bored. But AIBU I thinking the parents should at least try and moderate their behaviour, remind them to be quiet, try and get them to sit down and do something a bit calmer? Even if it’s not always successful?

Or preferably not book the bloody quiet carriage.

He will not wear them.

I have not ignored it.

The older two are no bother. They can sit and read and play etc, but the little one will want to walk around and be a pain for everyone. He will not wear headphones. He will watch a film.

I thought the kindest and least disturbing thing for everyone on the carriage would be to put a film on for him at speaking volume or quieter.

Obviously I’m wrong, so we just won’t go.

I have done so many long haul flights with my really young children, from 6 months on. I was very prepared with books and interesting things for them. ALL QUIET.

This thread has made me think the dated ‘children should be seen and not heard’ was actually a great maxim. The same applies to performance parents.

Indeed it is. Sodcasting, I've heard it described as.

@GrinAndVomit - no one wants to listen to a bloody Disney film ok? Deal with that.
People went on trains long before they had iPads to annoy the shit out of everyone else around them…and managed without them. Use your imagination or your authority as a parent to keep them settled. Fuck off with the Disney as the path of least resistance.

I cannot bear listening to tinny shit coming out of someone else’s device.

My 17 month old will not wear headphones

You can get headphones that are in a soft headband - in lovely children's designs (so nothing to poke into the ears).

Honestly, you're talking about 2 hours not navigating the trans-Siberian express.

What do you think people did with 17 month old children on long journeys before iPads/tablets/smartphones?

It is possible to actually talk to children without "performance parenting". Just talk in a normal voice - like the other people on the train will be doing.

Or use headphones.

This woman is an inconsiderate PITA. You are not unreasonable

I’ve said we won’t go.

I’m obviously a shit parent and human being for assuming people wouldn’t mind a little noise over a bigger disturbance.

I’m obviously a shit parent for not having authority over my 17 month old.

I’ll stay home and keep my shit parenting and shit kids out of public.

Annoying for OP but I don't think headphones are the only way to keep DC quiet on a train. I've always tried to book a table so that they can do drawing or play card games - but on the whole trains are a lot easier with children than cars or planes.

https://www.amazon.com/CozyPhones-Headphones-Ultra-Thin-Speakers-Headband/dp/B01M7V7HZL

Now you are just being a martyr

As others have said, parents travelled with young children long before iPads were invented and coped fine

Exactly! Do people think babies and childrens didn't go on trains before ipads existed?
If you really think your kid will only be vaugely quiet when clued to a screen, you have bigger problems. Do you literally have nothing else in your repertoire?

Bit of a contrast in responses between this thread and badly-behaved-6-year-old-on-bus thread.

I once raised with a guard that the children in the quiet coach were making a heck of a lot of noise, not at all compatible with the d being quiet. He wasn’t happy, obviously told their mother who then loudly remarked to the kids, in a flouncy, pass agg way, that someone didn’t like them being there. I didn’t, not with the racket they were making. What can you do?

I thought the kindest and least disturbing thing for everyone on the carriage would be to put a film on for him at speaking volume or quieter.

No, that’s not kind to the people on the train. Why do they have to watch a film? What did people do before iPads?

Imagine everyone had iPads on at ‘speaking volume’

Seriously, I have three kids and have never had my mummy goggles on so firmly that I saw fit to bug fuck out of everyone else with the sound of kiddy crap ringing out across the bus/train/restaurant/whatever.

Yea but it would be as loud if not louder than the iPad.
🤷🏻‍♀️

For goodness sake. I shared a train compartment with a mum and her two under fives for 24 hours, and she didn't resort to singing, asking loud questions of them, or 'entertaining' them. They looked at books, they looked out of the window, they played on tablets that were at such low volume I barely knew they were on, they played with small toys and she talked to them quietly.

I must admit my heart sank when I found my seat in that four bed sleeper compartment and saw the three of them there. But yep. Fantastic parenting and sweet kids. Without loud entertainment.

‘My kid won’t wear headphones’

So they watch it on silent then. They soon learn.

He’s 17 months old

Are you addicted to noise?

People talking is not ‘just as loud or louder’ and even if it was it’s far less fucking aggravating for everyone else isn’t it?

And? Point still stands

Not particularly.
I was just planning on putting the film on a very quiet setting.

So entitled of the mum. I used to love being in the quiet carriage and having a good old read. Now I have a two year old and 7 month old. I would never sit in the quiet carriage, as even when they are fully entertained with quiet activities and sat in their seats they are still going to get excited by things they see on their journey (oooh oooh a horse, mama mama wee wee) etc and I’d would even find that extent of noise and disruption mortifying in the quiet carriage. What is she thinking?