DP's attitude to small amounts of money - boils my piss. AIBU?

[MissMoneyBallBags]

Me and DP are on the same page about 'big' finances.

But our attitudes to small amounts of money don't tally, and it boils my piss.

Let me give you some examples:

• DP never ever scans his Clubcard at Tesco to get things at the lower price. We don't shop at Tesco for the big shop, so it's only really when he gets a meal deal for lunch at work. But why wouldn't you just scan your card?

• If there's a multi-buy offer on at the supermarket, DP won't get the additional items if we don't need the additional item that week. But this is stuff that we will probably need the following week or the week after. And we have room for it. So why not just get it while its on offer?

• DP has to do tax self-assessments. He missed the January deadline. He'll get fined £100 if its not done by end of April. But DP's away a lot over the next month so I don't see him getting around to it. So he'll just end up paying £100 to the government needlessly.

It's relatively small amounts of money. We can afford it. And its his money so his choice. So I know I'm kind of BU.

But I find it infuriating and wasteful.
I'm not advocating for him massively going out of his way to save a few pennies. I'm suggesting that things like bunging an extra bottle of squash in the basket when it's a 2-for-1 offer, or scanning your Clubcard at the self-service checkout aren't huge undertakings or impositions so why the hell wouldn't you do it?!
Please tell me you can see my perspective and I'm not being wholly U?!

This is a bit annoying, yes.

You are 100% not being unreasonable. The club card points really rack up quite quickly. And as someone who accidentally incurred a fine from the HMRC this year, it baffles me how anyone would be blase about this!!!

You have my full sympathy OP.

I think there are separate issues here.

The incurring fines because he doesn’t submit his tax return on time is one issue. That’s not ok at all. He needs to prioritise doing that.

Clubcard scanning and multi buy offers is a different thing. This kind of money saving is something you value but he may not be thinking about it. Or have his clubcard with him.

I’d pick my battles here. The extra bottle of squash is something you can just let go.

It would annoy me too.
My Clubcard points pay for free Disney+

I shop at Waitrose and sainsburys without using my card and when I do receive vouchers I tend to never ever use them.
I know it adds up but it also doesn’t matter one bit .
being late with tax return is a bit pointless although I have been there too but do now try to not get fined.

I couldn't get too worked up about that. No one's perfect. I spend too much on toiletries. DH spends a lot on books and CDs. Live and let live.

Oh, I hear you about the tax return. It absolutely should be a priority. But it's not.

@SquidwardBound The squash is just one example. There are tonnes of things that he does like this. On their own, completely fine if a little bit baffling. But when you add them together, I'm just like WHY?!?!?!

And he does have his Clubcard with him because its on his keys which he takes to work 👀

Example 1 is so tiny I'm surprised you even notice, why do you even check?

Example 3 is a big deal - £100 in the bin for nothing. He's had since April to sort it out, no excuse at all.

On the tax - it’s £100 if it’s 3 months late, more if later, PLUS interest on the tax if you’re due to pay some tax. He really should get on that!

I would be less concerned about the Clubcard thing.

The first two, I think YABU. Not everyone can be arsed with Clubcard points and there is evidence that BOGOFs overall are intended to drive wasteful spending so if you did the analysis it is probably not that much saved in either direction.

The tax return one would worry me, not so much because of the amount of money (although £100 is not to be sniffed at IMO) but because of the general uselessness/procrastination it suggests.

@Myneighbourskia It's not that he spends too much on things. He spends loads on computer bollocks but that's totally fine - we have the money and that's the cost of things. It's more that he'll pass opportunities to save a little bit of money even when its right there in front of him.

But there is a difference between

1. incurring a fine because you have failed to do something mandatory
2. not taking advantage of promotions

Taking advantage of supermarket promotions actually requires additional work. You need to remember the club card, remember to use it, add promotions into your mental calculations are you are going round the supermarket.

Doing your tax return on time is just work you have to do. It’s an additional unnecessary cost rather than a potential saving (if you do more thinking and planning).

I agree with you. And it does make you feel like you are being extra as it isn’t that much… but it adds up. My husband is the same but I don’t think he’ll ever change unfortunately. I just try do my bit to save. Not any advice sorry just sympathy

The tax thing is the biggie - I can't believe some people have such a lax attitude towards it.
I'd also find the other things incredibly annoying, as I'm always careful to pick up multi-buy offers and the like.

I could probably let it all slide (if I had to) apart from the tax thing - that's a red flag that he might not care as much about some issues as he should do.

I had mine filled in and boxed off by November - it's one of those things that is just best done ASAP.

Tax absolutely should be done. The rest is neither here nor there.

The club card thing - how much discount do you actually get? For me, if it's just a little, I would just think it's wasn't worth the faff of diving around in my bag for keys. My time / energy is worth more.

Same with the multi buys. Space is at a premium, so often the savings aren't worth the storage hassles.

@LookingOldTheseDays Oh, yeah, I should've explained that. I spotted it on online banking ages ago when they first brought in the Clubcard lower price thing.
I didn't understand why there was £3.90 going out every day.
DP said it was his Tesco meal deal.
I said "But that's only £3.50 isn't it?" because I was genuinely confused.

He does have his Clubcard with him every day because its on his keys which he takes to work.

Your first two examples, I’m with your H.

Tesco isn’t giving you Clubcard points out of altruism. It’s a way for them to be fully informed about your shopping habits to enhance their future profit-making strategies. And bogoffs are proven to increase consumption and wastage.

I agree with you about the tax return, though.

I haven’t seen a BOGOF deal in a supermarket in AGES, it’s usually two for a slightly reduced price which is just intended to make you spend more that week anyway.

Eg 2 for £3 when the singular item is £1.60 anyway.

However the Clubcard thing is still annoying as the offers you get now are the offers you used to get anyway without a card!

I have some sympathy for him. Although that’s because I have ADHD. So getting a fine because I didn’t do a tax return is most definitely something I can imagine happening to me.

The thing is, I would be annoyed at myself over that one. And I’d know that it would be reasonable for others to be annoyed with me for wasting money on fines.

But potential savings from clubcard points and monitoring offers as I go round a supermarket are not going to register with me. I’ve got enough to keep track of remembering to buy what I actually need and so on. I’d be really resentful of a partner having a go at me over not picking up two bottles of squash because of an offer or forgetting to scan a club card.

Not implying he has ADHD or anything. Just that there’s quite a big difference between the two things.

Focus on the ways he’s costing money, not the ways in which he’s failing to take advantage of potential offers and savings.

If you don't need them, get the products and put in the food bank box

The meal deal is 40p cheaper per day with a Clubcard which adds up to about £100 per year.

As I said, its a really small amount of money.

But I don't get why you wouldn't save £100 per year if you could very easily do so.

I'm with you. This would drive me nuts.

He doesn't have ADHD.

And we don't have issues with storage - plenty of room for storing things we get on BOGOF offers.

Don't get my wrong, I'm not always duped by these. I know they don't always work out in the long-run but sometimes there are very good offers.

I'd be quite annoyed if my husband was monitoring and commenting upon my Clubcard usage...