To judge the woman on the bus

[IDoughnutKnow]

She was on the bus this afternoon with two children - aged around 3 and 6. The 6yo was jumping around, doing the whole 'look at meeee' thing, standing up, messing around. The younger child had been bribed into submission with a massive doughnut. The mother (and I know she was the mother, as the older child kept addressing her as Mum) spent the entire 30 minute journey on her phone. I could see Facebook, then Instagram, then she was just scrolling around watching videos. Every now and then she would get pissed off and tell the child to sit down and behave and stop bothering the other passengers - when it was evident to anyone with half a brain that she needed to get off her bloody phone and talk to the child.

WABU to judge her hard?

@kittensinthekitchen I'm not sure whether it's more twatty not to know how to spell Macdonalds or to know how to spell it.

YANBU tbh, a 6 year old jumping up and down on a moving bus is bloody dangerous. I keep mine sitting by any means possible.

Sounds like you was going to judge whether the child was sitting or not because of the MASSIVE donut. Get a life and stop being so nosey, this is why privacy phone screens exist because of intrusive people like you

I'd say not likely, but not impossible. But if that were the case, she could have explained to the 6yo what she was doing, and why the 6yo needed to be really good and quiet while they were on the bus, then she could have her Macdonalds treat. Or something like that.

Oh yes that's probably better, a big smile when people are being all po faced does wind them up a treat.

Unless they were annoying/interfering with you in some way I can’t see the issue.

No. The MASSIVE doughnut was mentioned because that is how she kept the younger child quiet, rather than by parenting her. But that on its own would not have attracted my notice even for a second. It was just part of the picture. The older girl was the unmissable part.

Mothers are imperfect human beings too, I’m sure she loves and does her best by her children. She might be an absent parent who doesn’t interact with her kids, ever. Or she could have been burnt out using the only half hour she’d had that day to mindlessly scroll through social media.

YABU to judge based on a 30 minute bus journey & insulting her personal appearance is just vile.

It's not acceptable to let your child annoy other passengers on public transport.

She should have got off her phone and parented.

If she needed 30 mins of absolving herself of responsibility then the place to do that is at home, not on the bus.

I probably would judge, not hard, but because the child wasn’t listening to her mum, if the bus brakes hard or stops and the child goes flying they can be injured, and the bus isn’t a toy bus to be played on.

However, kids can be a pain and ignore you, this might be the millionth time that day she’s tried to speak to her daughter and been ignored so therefore she’s on her phone as no one wants to her you yelling at your child.

I’d guess the child had either had her doughnut or didn’t want it. Maybe the sugar made her hyperactive ergo her behaviour on the bus.

Other passengers annoy me all the time

I love them, not had one for ages and will be thinking about them endlessly now!

This is so true!

How do you know she didn’t parent the younger child as well as giving her a doughnut? And yes it’s vile to judge her on her appearance as a mother..

Well, the older girl was bothering a lot of people because she kept banging into them. But what bothered me particularly was the way that she was so ignored by her mother. Everyone is so keen for there to be no achievement gap between children from different backgrounds - but the gap is in-built if Child A has parents who talk to him/her from birth, explain things, teach them appropriate behaviour in different situations (such as on public transport), and Child B doesn't have those experiences. My children were small before the advent of phones, so while it was still possible to be a very crap parent, there wasn't the temptation in your pocket to be an even crapper one.

There was a time not so long ago that people didn't treat their phones as an addditional arm or leg or brain replacement; it really was like that even 10 years ago.

I'd not judge the woman on the bus for behaving just as society now lives but more judge society itself for accepting 'life by smartphone' as the normal way to live.

I don’t judge the Mum. I have, however, solidly judged you.

Nah, she was just your common or garden variety chavette.

Eh? I said she was hefty. This was a statement of fact. It's hardly an insult. Where did I insult her appearance?

I'd not judge the woman on the bus for behaving just as society now lives but more judge society itself for accepting 'life by smartphone' as the normal way to live

Good point, well made.

If only she'd had 2 donuts 😆🤷

Weirdo 😉

She should have bought one massive enough for them to share.