To judge the woman on the bus

[IDoughnutKnow]

She was on the bus this afternoon with two children - aged around 3 and 6. The 6yo was jumping around, doing the whole 'look at meeee' thing, standing up, messing around. The younger child had been bribed into submission with a massive doughnut. The mother (and I know she was the mother, as the older child kept addressing her as Mum) spent the entire 30 minute journey on her phone. I could see Facebook, then Instagram, then she was just scrolling around watching videos. Every now and then she would get pissed off and tell the child to sit down and behave and stop bothering the other passengers - when it was evident to anyone with half a brain that she needed to get off her bloody phone and talk to the child.

WABU to judge her hard?

I got lots of looks of disgust when I was walking home from sainsburys with a beer bottle in the buggy coffee cup holder. I'd placed it there because the under buggy storage was already too full of other shopping. I've been teetotal since jan 2017 and the beer is always for dh but go ahead onlookers, look at the terrible mother!

@ancientgran I fully understood your post. I just dont like the term and every time i see it it drives me mad.

I think the Asda ones are on offer, I saw it on Hot UK deals.

Well it was a strange response then as it was pretty obvious I was referring to how people judge. I think it is pretty evenly split on here that people are judged for one or the other.

Unfortunately we can't all avoid something because it drives you mad.

Not unless she had eyes in the back of her head.

Waaaayne , you know Frogmella ain't allowed a fag on the bus!

I do hope you staggered a bit to give them a bit more to be disgusted about.

People just like to say they are going against the grain. They aren't really.

Oh goodness, don't be silly. It's not either Shakespeare or Peppa Pig and doughnuts. Most half decent parents would just be chatting a bit with their children about whatever the child was interested in at that moment, or answering whatever random questions their children might ask.

I vote YABU because you cannot judge a mother on one moment. Small children can be exhausting and sometimes as a parent you just haven't got anything left to give.

She may have been a neglectful and judgement worthy parent or she might have just needed a breather. I had a car when mine were that age and it was bliss to be able to sometimes strap them into their seats ans just drive so they would go to sleep and give me a break.

I remember getting judgemental looks when I was getting a hair cut and the useless hairdresser took bloody ages. My two were 1 and 4 and starting to climb the walls so I fed them biscuits and let them play on my phone etc.

If her kids were messing about or disrupting the bus then she should have parented them and told them to stop.

However, I wouldn’t judge her for giving one a treat or being on her phone.
She could have been on MN (like you are) asking advice, she could be dealing with losing her job or the death of a family member etc etc or she could be just having a few minutes to herself.

So many people have so much going on and you should count yourself lucky that the only thing you have to deal with is judging a parent who you saw for a few minutes.

It’s irrelevant.

Any responsible parent shouldn’t be letting a child stand up, mess around and annoy other passengers on a bus. It’s dangerous and unfair on everybody else.

She sounds like a lazy cow.

@ancientgran that made me laugh! No I didn't stagger, but just occasionally smiled at them proudly which made them seethe even more.

@ancientgran ok then

Maybe she was out of data and it was her only chance to get online,

Christ.

What is it about some women looking for any excuse to 'judge' other women. It's usually always parents on the receiving end.

Men get dragged no end on this platform but I've never heard a bloke slagging off another bloke for parenting or perceived lack of parenting.

Mind your own business. How she parents her kids is nothing to do with you.

Bakewellbride, there's a universe of difference between spending 3 minutes idly looking your phone when you have a baby in a buggy who's contentedly taking in the great wide world and doing it for 30 minutes on a moving and very busy bus while your child is playing up because you just ignore her until she pisses you off enough to tell her to sit down and be quiet.

Why were you on the bus instead of your high horse???

@Messyhair321

do you really think that a mum looking at a phone and a child eating a doughnut is in the same category of abusive behaviour as a man throttling a toddler?

I wouldn't even notice a mum doing what you did. But I do notice when parents (dads, too) are so engrossed in their phones that they ignore their children (until they get fed up with them).

I don't think buses are for you.

The horse was in for a service.

My daughter-in-law drives so doesn't get the bus but she had to ask me to watch her children for 29 minutes while she updated her Facebook and Instagram.
I didn't mind as she runs her own business and advertises through social media.
Maybe this mum was doing the same?

They actually got off the bus in order to go to Macdonalds. I am not joking.

Ok. And? They used public transport to go and get some food. That’s a very normal thing to do. Would you be as flabbergasted if a couple of adults got on the bus to go for a pub lunch?

Are you judging her for taking her children to McDonald’s?

I suggest you take a book to read on the bus so you can keep your nose out of other peoples business.