To ask what is so great about the uni experience

[MarquessofPembroke]

That I keep hearing mention of on MN.

I'm not talking about the skills gained from studying for a degree but the "uni experience."

And what happens to the 50% of school leavers who don't experience uni.

Personally I enjoyed the learning and post-class discussions with friends

I made friends I have kept for life at university, I had lots of opportunities to try new things (e.g. music playing, radio broadcasting) that I wouldn't have had otherwise, and I gained the qualification which was essential for my career, which is one I find very fulfilling and enjoyable. Ultimately, through one of my university friends I met my husband, and we're still together and happy many years later.

It’s truly the only time of your life when your only responsibility is for yourself. No boss, no colleagues, no dependants.

For my kids it was a chance to escape the private school bubble and see a bit more of the “real” world, it made them grow up a bit in that sense.

Absolutely this but at huge financial cost now unfortunately.

I went to our local (top ten) uni as a mature student at 26, so got the good qualification which has really helped.

But it wasn't until I had DCs and met a lot of mums who'd had the traditional uni experience that I saw how different they were - really confident, extrovert, great in groups, socially at ease etc.

A well-known writer said recently that the biggest tragedy of it not being free anymore is that a huge number of young people won't have the life-changing experience of realising they're not the centre of the universe and having to get on with large groups and compromise. That's it in a nutshell I think.

I didn’t go to university but I can’t help feeling going home every night defeats a huge part of the uni experience - as in independence, doing what you want when you want (freedom), increasing your romantic/physical experiences without your parents’ knowledge, basically growing up without your parents daily input (no matter how well meaning).

Living at home whilst being at uni is a great shame, imo. You miss all the great bits.

I'm not sure the university experience is what it was sadly. Overpriced housing / difficult to get accomodation/ high fees in education/ ideological and intolerant politics. I would only encourage the DC to do this if there was an obvious and meaningful career path to be gained from it.

Uni for me was great fun, but also the hardest I’d ever worked.
It taught me independence (moving out at 18 hrs old from a small town) and forced me out of my comfort zone. I made friends for life & it was great being around like minded people from all over the country.
I really came out of my shell at uni, my confidence grew & I will always have fond memories.

I would only encourage the DC to do this if there was an obvious and meaningful career path to be gained from it.

Pretty hard to predict.

Regarding the ‘other 50%’, remember that the time of grants and more-reasonable housing costs (student housing were always dives and money-making opportunities for the well-off) also saw other opportunities for people in different circumstances. Council housing, and live-in training for nursing come to mind. And many who took those opportunities are better off now than those who worked through the uni route.

But I have always thought that in a more organised and practical system it should be possible to create, eg, flats of uni-style halls of residence for all young adults. We could call them, hmm, council housing 😬. For the traditional central Tories among us, of the reasonable ilk, perhaps it could be tied to national service of some kind. Such things may offer a route to more environmentally sustainable living too. But consideration would always need to be made for the safety of young women particularly.

It does not even feel possible to think about and discuss such alternative models for society now in public, let alone hope for real change. Britain used to be better than this.

The university experience: Choice. Independence. Freedom. Possibilities. Friendships. Doing something you're passionate about.

Not going: Other choices.

I encouraged ds1 to go and glad I dyed. He's having a blast and loving it. I did too. Many pp's have described it beautifully. The freedom, meeting such a variety of people of similar age - your peers, doing sports and activities you haven't before, secure in the security of say halls, spending all your time studying a subject you love. What's not to like?

For me is was a transition between childhood and dependence on parents, and independence but in a safe way (small un with good pastoral care who kept an eye on us). A chance to make friends by choice not proximity. A break from a toxic family environment. And the degree that is the foundation for a 30 year career that I love.

Lovely 🌷

Good friends you might meet and stay in touch for life, a sense of community and camraderie, focus of working towards something hopeful in life aids with depression, and a chance to have a mentor and surround yourself with positive role models

Some people never get to do this 😥

I hated university but it did teach me how lucky I was to live in a nice town compared to the city I went to uni in. It was a dump and I'd regularly come running home. My parents hated it too. Came to see me once!
What I did find amazing was meeting similarly minded people all together for the same subject that I was passionate about. That was great.

DS1 is at Uni in London and living in really nice, modern halls there. We live an hour outside London so he could have commuted but I encouraged him to go into halls as I think it’s important to give them experience of living away from home. He was a lazy bugger at home but he’s keeping his room clean, doing his washing and cooking quite interesting meals. Most of his student cohort are international students so he’s learnt a lot in terms of their culture but it was a struggle for him to be included at first.

He’ll have to move back home for his 3rd year as loan will reduce due to our increased income but at least he’s had that experience.

DD commuted for Uni as she didn’t want to flat share with strangers. She bitterly regrets that now and is still living at home like she’s a teenager!

Also I would never go now at the cost involved unless there's a job to be had at the end part of the beauty of when I went was that fees were easily paid back. Really sad about how much it costs now and not sure how on earth anyone manages.

When the loan system was first introduced, it didn't put off teenagers from lower income households at all - the economic diversity of undergraduates shot up in those first few years. Nowadays however, because the maintenance loans haven't kept pace with the cost of living, and rents in particular, far more students simply can't afford it.

My university experience was one of the very best times of my life.
Freedom, independence, no huge responsibilities (apart from essay deadlines), meeting people from so many different walks of life, learning new things and how to question and analyse.
I went to Uni on 1988 and made lifelong friends.
And there was fun, a lot of fun.
I really hope my DCs get to experience it as we live in a small town and I’d love them to spread their wings.
I definitely second whoever said that living at home and going to Uni is far from the full experience.

For me: living away from parents but not having to be responsible, everyone's new at the same time so you're all in the same boat, going out multiple times a week, clubs and hobby groups all nearby with your mates, school football games etc where everyone's into the rivalry.

Plus independent study for the first time, teachers who treat you like an interesting adult, having your own ideas and being able to explore them.

It's just a hell of a lot of fun far away from the real world.

Freedom and independence.

I think if it was more affordable to buy younger, or rent and save up for a deposit in a reasonable timeframe, less people would go.

Growing up.
Getting away from parents.
Making friends for life.

My experience was very tough. I had to work 3 jobs to survive and i was so tired and stressed.