To feel ashamed, embarrassed and not know how to fix this?

[Avatarthewayofwater]

I've taken the image from Google as I'm far to embarrassed to take a picture of myself.

Any weight I gain goes on my stomach and due to emotional binge eating I find myself here.

I did have ultrasound scans to check nothing underlying was going on, but no its visceral fat and only I can get rid if it.

The problem is I've changed my diet completely and calorie counting and eating healthy along with exercise. Yet nothing has changed stomach wise.

I'm so self conscious and I can't wear normal clothes because I constantly look pregnant.

Even at the gym I hide in a big hoodie so no one can see.

It's making me depressed and I don't know how to get rid of the stomach fat.

Has anyone else been like this and managed? I had a c section years ago and have an underactive thyroid if that makes any difference.

Please be kind...

Have you tried fasting? I see much more loss on my stomach with fasting and/or keto.

Can you at least TRY to do 2 or 3 of the workouts I posted, and do so 5 days a week?

Do it for a month and you WILL feel fitter.

Keep doing it and it'll become a way of life.

This, plus eating a healthy Mediterranean diet will get you there.

It WILL take time but it'll set you up for a healthy way of living for life.

It could be bloat , when I was 5 weeks pregnant (not saying you are) i was bigger than I was at 5 months.
Different things can cause bloat such as eating something that doesn't agree (dairy or weat) or fizzy/sugery drinks.
You're also not eating enough calories. Try your GP again and ask to get an appointment with a dietitian otherwise your at risk of developing an eating disorder eating that little. I've been there and eat less than 1000 calories a day for months and when I started to eat normally I put it straight back on again. Yes I lost weight but my periods went all wired and my hair and nails thinned out.

This!

You are still stuffing down two packets of prawn and cocktail crisps a day?! Wasted kcal.

It’s good your logging calories to be aware of what your eating, but Ditch some of the fruit for protein. if you like fruit maybe just try to have one or two portions a day.
Chicken or tuna is good. Be more specific logging your foods e.g., what is ‘mixed veg?’, log the amount in grams rather than 0.5 cup. Also jacket potatoes are good and filling.
Add some resistance training in, also if you like the treadmill are you walking on an incline on it? That’s really good for glutes and legs.

I was like you and it was soul destroying.

What completely cured it for me was to fast, first time 72 hours, correct my low thyroid with levothyroxine, take hrt, go on an anti inflammatory diet and increase fish protein and take inulin.

I have taken out all processed foods and try to have more cooked veg, less carbs and no added sugar.

I also do alot of exercise, running, swimming and indoor rock climbing and doing the plank and other strength based exercises are great.

Also posture, make sure you always walk and sit with your head held high and shoulders back.

Increase water consumption.

Eat a carrot and an apple as a snack.

Completely cured now.

I got a bit stuck weight wise and joined SlimmingWorld. It wasn’t until I started stuffing myself I actually lost a lot of weight, unfortunately it was my belly weight that was last to go, everywhere else, under the bra straps etc etc. I found drinking a glass full of water first thing before anything else and then lots more during the day made a difference too.

I was told a body will only give up the fat if it’s nourished and therefore you need to eat more (of the right foods), it worked for me. wondering if you are eating enough.

Shame I’ve not kept it off but that’s another story. Done it twice now. Was doing ok keeping it off until Covid hit

Are you on Facebook? Search TeamRH. Listen to him & you will lose weight. Trust me!!

I wouldn’t personally recommend TeamRH, I struggled there. No support unless you’re tracking perfectly (and if I could do that by myself, why would I be there?) The way he talks about females was really uncomfortable too. I found the same information online, basically calorie deficit, for free along with My Fitness Pal which their app connects to anyway.

I’ve found TeamRH so helpful! First stone off in 3 weeks. Once you commit to it it really will work. If you’re not tracking it won’t work. Took me a while up get my head in it & properly start but once you decide your ready to make a change there’s no looking back

Horses for courses I guess. I’m glad you didn’t have a negative experience. It was a massive relief for me when I found out I wasn’t alone in how it had made me feel though. Discussions here and on other boards were quite healing to read.

OP you need to understand that your belly is the very last place any fat will come off. It's the first place you put weight on and the last it'll come off. You can't spot reduce and as you said yourself weighted ab exercises will make your stomach stick out more so forget those.

I had a huge belly like you and even though I've lost weight I still have belly fat but I'm persevering and I know the rest will come off.

What you need to do is the following:

1. Focus on strength training, at least 3 or 4 times a week. Do it at home if you don't want to do it in the gym. Look up Melissa Neill on YouTube, she's excellent 👌.

1. Cut out all cardio exercise. For cardio you want to be doing High Intensity Interval Training or HIIT. 15 minutes max 4x a week. If you want to walk as well then do that too. But I'd be surprised if you have any energy left after strength training and HIIT.

1. High protein and quality carb diet only like oats and vegetables. One gram of protein for every pound of body fat. Cut out all the processed crap like crisps and sweetened yogurt. Zero fat Greek yogurt only with some berries if you want yogurt. High protein diet alone will burn off lots of fat and calories. It did for me plus it gives you lots of energy and keeps you feeling full. Look up Melissa Neill.

1. Your calories sound about right for your height or possibly a bit too much. I'm 5'4 and my BMR is 1200 which is the maximum I should be eating each day for my activity level. Calculate your bmr or basal metabolic rate. Take off 200 calories max from food and the rest through daily exercise so you're reducing 500 calories a day. This will burn one pound of fat a week. It'll be slow progress but it works.

1. You need to start measuring/weighing food to be accurate about how much you're eating. I thought I was eating about 1200 calories initially but it was actually more like 1500/1600 which is why I wasn't losing weight.

1. Look up Melissa Neill on YouTube as she advises most of this, she's just turned 56 and is in fantastic shape after having 3x kids, diastis recti and having a belly. The only thing I don't agree with from her is she advises eating 1500 calories but I did that and filled out! I should have been in a calorie deficit as others on here have said. What I'm doing now Is only doing strength training twice a week to maintain muscle, and HIIT 4-5x a week on an empty stomach and 1000 calories max a day. I only really have my belly left to get rid of but it shows you that it's the last place to shift! I do my HIIT at home btw as I couldn't ever do it in public! Too embarrassing 🤣 It's really hard at first but even if you have to take lots of breaks, keep at it. The HIIT videos I do are by Fitness Blender on YouTube. The key is diet though/healthy eating. Melissa Neill is really good for advising on this but her latest videos aren't honest about her own calorie intake/deficit. Her very early videos show she only ate 1100/1200 calories max herself when she was getting into shape, possibly less.

1. Positive mindset!! Please don't think you can't lose weight or get rid of the belly fat. If 80 year old women can become lean bodybuilders then you can get rid of your belly! It'll just take time and involves long term lifestyle changes. No quick fixes but you can definitely get results if you eat the right foods.

So that's what you should be changing to get results. HTH and good luck 🤞

I would speak to a dietitian. You are getting food advice from people on here with all kinds of their own issues and some with disordered eating. You need to speak to someone who can sit down and review your diet and give you appropriate suggestions.

Op please don't be ashamed.

People are throwing that much advice at you Its confusing. The issue is that you need to figure out what the issue is.

I held weight like this, still do have a way to go. I have PCOS which is a metabolic disorder. I track what I eat, but for vitamin and mineral content. Not just calories or proteins and cards.

I also have high stress levels and my doctor advised that high cortisol also can contribute to stomach fat. Now I try to eat in a way that gives my body as much nutrition as possible. And a big focus on fibre. I don't eat processed carbs. But do eat carbs. I have done weights of some description for most of the last 15 years. But divorce, pandemic, bereavement all led to weight gain, mainly on my stomach. I now do less weights. More walking. It reduces my stress levels and is really helping.

Weights are great, hiit is great, if you have high cortisol levels so is just walking. I also stopped doing longer intermittent fasting. IF helped me stop nighttime snacking. But my longest fasts are around 14-15 hours and they just happen naturally. Pilates helps as it helps my stress levels and really works my core. I also worked on my sleep routine. I have a wind down period an hour before bed. I also take magnesium before bed which has hugely improved my sleep.

I also take berberine, 3 times a day. In 6 months I have lost 6 inch on my stomach.

Please don’t feel shame. This was me. I did couch to 5k, started by making myself go out for a 20 min jog-walk loop (jog 30secs walk 30secs repeat, or whatever you can manage just to get round) every 2 days first thing in the morning as a priority. This built fitness until I could run the loop, and was free - I just needed running trainers. I then made one of the runs longer per week, and got a PT to show me body weight exercises and how to use free weights. Planks help a lot, esp active ones where you are moving your legs or arms. I’ve now done a few half marathons a A bd am training for a marathon - it becomes addictive, even though 5 years ago I’d done no exercise knowingly. I don’t calorie count but I’m sure I eat at least 2k calories a day. I’m pescatarian and have a ton of fruit and veg in the house. I think with diet it’s more what you eat than the calories - 2k calories a day with lots of variety in fruit and veg is healthier and happier surely than 1.2k calories with some crisps? Start really small eg I static plank for 10 seconds if you can 6 x day, and a 20 min jog-walk every second morning as a priority, and your stamina and fitness will slowly build. You’ll find after a month you walk less jog more and can hold the plank for longer. Then build on that. Don’t worry if you can’t hold for 10 seconds initially - you will soon if you keep a routine each day. Add squats to the plank, start with 10 each time you do the plank. Fitness builds through consistency. You’ll see progress over time and it’ll be motivating. Hold for longer as your strength builds. I have DR but the plank helps me - I started this routine 1.5 years after having my last kid. I couldn’t do anything on 1.2k calories a day though. Get into veg-based meals with tofu, cut out white bread and rice and replace with wholemeal bread and brown rice. Don’t beat yourself up and don’t compare yourself with the professional fitness instructors on the videos. Be proud of yourself for who you are right now. Get moving and get eating way more veg (veg isn’t as expensive as fruit) - roast it with olive oil and garlic; make soup every couple of days; add lentils for protein and fibre. Don’t expect miracles overnight but look back each month after a consistent routine starting off small and increasing your exercise as you feel stronger. This is how people get fitter. You 100% can do this. A more toned tum is one sign of fitness; but in running and doing bodyweight exercises and free weights eventually you will strengthen your bones and protect yourself from back pain and the pains of ageing. Make a change and stick with it - eg roasted veg and seeds and an apple instead of Quavers (you can bulk-cook the roasted veg), or oatcakes and peanut butter. Eat more and more healthily Ie for nutrition not calorie-counting. Xxxx

OP please ignore any advice which tells you to eat 1000 calories a day. Miserable unhealthy unnecessary way to live.

Calculate your TDEE using any online calculator.
Reduce that number by 10-20%
Track your calories properly by weighing everything.
Ignore anyone who tells you not to eat fruit (pretty damn sure the current western obesity problem was not caused by an over consumption of fruit)
Increase your protein to a minimum of 100g a day and base each meal around a protein source then add in tons of veg/salad. Carbs are not evil, just weigh them accurately.
Do not eat back your exercise calories Ignore them and only eat within the original number.
Cardio is great for fat loss but weight training also important. If the gym really does make you feel uncomfortable then pick up some cheap weights at somewhere like lidl and find on online trainer you like who posts content for free. Body weight exercises are also highly underrated so don't think you need loads of kit. Carry on your cardio at the gym and keep walking everywhere - 10000 steps a day is a great number to aim for if you're trying to increase your fitness.
Be patient, keep it simple, and please be very cautious of anything that claims to be a quick fix - if something sounds too good to be true then it usually is.

I had this problem. Skinny legs, slim arms, huge stomach sticking out. In 1 month I was asked how far I was pregnant 3 times by different people. The last time I pretended I was. Literally said due September.. cried all the way home.

I had gastric bypass abroad best thing I ever did. Belly gone health back and feeling motivated to save for a tummy tuck and breast lift.

Hope you have found something that works for you 🤞

From your bmi you'd be classed as obese. Getting down to a healthy weight may be enough to make stomach smaller. This would be more logical than considering something major (and expensive) like tummy tuck or lypo.

Good luck!

Do you have your latest thyroid blood test results? Doctors can under medicate people with underactive thyroid disorders and tell them they are 'fine' 🙄. Your cholesterol and thyroid function are linked, so when your thyroid hormone levels are perfect for you, your cholesterol will most likely be fine.

Look into Secret Eaters on YT. They have old eps up.

It's eye opening, most people eat way more than they're aware off

I won't add to the advice except to say don't eat dried fruit (pure sugar) or quavers (rubbish).

You need lots of salad, vegetables and protein. And water.

If nothing medical is wrong then what are your stress/sleeping levels like? Assuming that as you say, your diet is good and you are exercising. Raised cortisol (stress hormone) and lack of sleep can cause uneven distribution of fat on the stomach area. If it gets worse as the day goes on then its bloating and you need to address your gut microbiome which is also really important for immune function and seratonin levels. Happy mammoth do two gut powders called belly reset and total gut repair which are excellent and Ive seen great results from them- much flatter stomach.

Walking is excellent exercise for cardiovascular health but for fat burning you need to lift heavy weights and do something like running. It doesnt have to be long but you need to get your heart rate up. Try walking on treadmill then running for 2 mins then walking then running for 2 mins again etc When I run for 20 mins 3-4 times a week the belly fat literally fell off me and I re-sculpted my entire body. Unfortunately, without liposuction, it will take a big hump of effort but the great thing is- doing the above will significantly benefit your overall health.

I’m not a hugger and I want to hug you. What was your friend thinking even though drunk. Remember the vast majority of the population need to lose some weight on paper, but to be told that is a horrid thing. I hope after having a day of crying you can hold your head high and attend future events with that person there. I wonder if she remembers even making those comments.

OP- please don’t follow the advice to do the keto 800 or anything. Your already on a low calorie diet. I would check to see whether your stomach muscles are separated. If they aren’t can you do some work on your self esteem. Lots of people have a tummy like that and are apple shapes. It’s horrible for you but a much bigger deal for you than others. It sounds like you need some help with your self esteem if your hiding your body at the gym, there will be people triple your size at the gym and everyone is there with parts of their body they don’t like that they are there to work on. It’s horrible your stomach is making you depressed. There might not be able quick fixes as sometimes it’s just our natural shape and learning to accept these things can be ok