To feel ashamed, embarrassed and not know how to fix this?

[Avatarthewayofwater]

I've taken the image from Google as I'm far to embarrassed to take a picture of myself.

Any weight I gain goes on my stomach and due to emotional binge eating I find myself here.

I did have ultrasound scans to check nothing underlying was going on, but no its visceral fat and only I can get rid if it.

The problem is I've changed my diet completely and calorie counting and eating healthy along with exercise. Yet nothing has changed stomach wise.

I'm so self conscious and I can't wear normal clothes because I constantly look pregnant.

Even at the gym I hide in a big hoodie so no one can see.

It's making me depressed and I don't know how to get rid of the stomach fat.

Has anyone else been like this and managed? I had a c section years ago and have an underactive thyroid if that makes any difference.

Please be kind...

Serious question now…. But what’s left to eat?!

Have you looked at the body coach app as it has meal plans as well. Start on the basic level and build up. I used it for tone more than weight and it definitely works. With the meals you only eat carbs on exercise days. If you are at the gym I would use a pt if possible as a first stop.

I feel so embarrassed.I went to a party last night.One of my friends who I only really know through my work colleague.Proceeded to get drunk and In doing so tell me how much I need to loose weight and diet.I am so pretty but I need to get fit.She went on about it for a while.My girlfriend was there and I just played along nodding but inside I wanted to run and hide.
Safe to say today as soon as my girlfriend went to work I cried all morning.
why do people think you don’t know how fat you are and think this is fine.They act like they are doing you a favour.
I am so upset and deeply embarrassed.I feel like I can’t go out to any social events this friend is attending any more.
I just feel utterly horrendous and fat and ugly and feel like I shouldn’t be attending any thing.

That is a whole heap of sugar, far far too much for everyday and even more so if you’re frying to looose weight.

when I got rid of my mummy tummy I ate nothing with a sugar do February above 2% and ideally well below 1%

You don't need a regular PT. Just a one off session to teach you how to lift properly and then give you a programme to follow by yourself. An hour walking at the gym is a waste of time and money. You raise your metabolism more and build more muscle by lifting resistance training ie lifting weights.

I notice you keep replying positively to people who offer quick off the shelf "solutions" - eg inulin and tummy tucks, instead of people offering sensible suggestions about diet and exercise. You have strengthen your body not just go for a stroll.

That could be my tummy

So ditch the cardio completely? And instead do weights? Is it better to do all areas, as in leg day, arm day and so on?

Also, if I need to massively cut down on fruit what would you have instead?

I do a mix of cardio and weights, weights are brilliant because you continue to burn calories for a little while after using them. I would recommend getting a kettlebell at home if you feel self conscious at the gym. Loads of YouTube videos out there for for them and it’s so good for core muscles

Have you looked into weight loss resistance - Karen Martel has a podcast. Also, excess weight on the stomach but not elsewhere is a symptom of Cushing's disease. It's not that common but worth looking into. Some of it might be water retention too. Potassium supplements help that.

It might not come off your belly straight away but if you are losing body fat (by being in a calorie deficit) then it will come off your belly long term. It’s physically impossible not to. You can’t target fat loss from a specific body area no matter what exercise you do but you can reduce body fat which will lead to your belly size reducing.

Unless you are doing serious, serious weight training targeted at your stomach (this is incredibly difficult) then you won’t build stomach muscles to push your belly out. Even women who do very intensive muscle building to get a 6 pack, it isn’t the type of muscle that pushes your belly fat outwards.

Improving your core strength will help hugely with fat loss.

Weight training, increasing muscle, increasing your protein intake, being in a calorie deficit (actually weighing all food rather than estimating, as the vast majority of people underestimate calorie intake, forget to count all the little calories etc) will all lead to FAT LOSS (as opposed to weight loss on the scales).
This will 100% reduce your stomach size. It may reduce your legs, bum etc first but if you are losing BODY FAT then your stomach WILL reduce.

Cardio at the gym is great some of the time if done along side weight training. To see results though, honestly start lifting weights.
Don’t be embarrassed. Watch a video on your phone to help with technique while there. Start with low weights and build up slowly. If you are walking lots outside the gym, I’d honestly just forget the treadmill completely. You’ll see much, much better and quicker results by lifting weights.

Anything with less sugar. Assuming we are talking about snacks so nuts and olives which are also good for your cholesterol

Hypothyroidism and metabolic disorders are linked and central obesity is a key factor in both disorders.

Leg day, arm day is a good idea.

If you are walking lots everyday outside the gym then yes, I wouldn’t bother with cardio at all at the gym personally. Or maybe just 15/20 mins after weights if you enjoy it. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. I do weights then cardio as I find cardio relaxing but if pushed for time then definitely just weights.

Personally I wouldn’t worry about the fruit.
Focus on your protein intake (look up if a food is actually high protein rather than foods that claim to be good source of protein on label as lots aren’t or what people perceive are high protein foods but actually aren’t). Increasing protein will help hugely with body fat loss.
Focus on calorie deficit and making sure this is accurate (incorrect estimates is where this fails for so many people)
Focus on not restricting foods/food groups as it won’t be sustainable long term.
Focus on enjoying your food and learning how to do this in moderation without binging or feeling guilty.
Focus on increasing your general movement every day.
Focus on what you can add to your diet, not what you can take away. For example, what greens, leafy veg etc can you add to each meal?
What protein can you add to your snack so you aren’t hungry again in an hour?
Drink lots of water. This is so important as if your body isn’t hydrated it can’t burn fat as effectively. Don’t underestimate the importance of this.

Completely agree with this!

You’re staying within your calories, but you’re eating quite a bit of junk.

Also, are you doing this properly? Did you not have any sauce on your pasta, for example? A glug of olive oil? Anything? Seasonings, spices, cups of tea with milk + sugar. If it goes in your mouth, you need to log it.

I also think you need to start working out properly. Cardio + resistance training. You don’t need to do it at the gym, if you’re embarrassed. Find a YouTube personal trainer and just follow their videos at home.

And mine :(

What's your height, weight and bmi?

Hi OP.

I'm very similar to you lots of ways. I'm 37, have had a C-Section, carry weight around my middle (dreaded 'apple shape') and also have a thyroid condition. My shape has drastically changed since last year. Here are some of the things I do which I'd personally recommend.

• Weight training 4-5 x a week + 30 mins of high-intensity cardio afterwards. You can start off slow at first and work your way up as you get stronger and fitter. Cardio will just make you hungry - weight training is the way forward followed by cardio afterwards.
• High protein diet. I would personally ditch the yogurt for porridge with fruit instead. Make sure you drink a protein shake (Whey) 30 mins after weight training and eat plenty of fish, lean proteins - meat, chicken etc with lots of healthy veggies.
• Get enough rest. Aim for 8-9 hours a night.
• Drink 3-5 litres of water a day. Your body needs it and it will stop any water retention and reduce bloating.
• I know gyms can be scary places, but honestly (and i mean this nicely) nobody cares about you. They are way too focused on their own personal gains/goals to worry about anybody else.
• Take pictures. Sometimes we are our own worse critics and think we aren't losing or seeing any difference until we take pictures and compare them.
• See a doctor and check your thyroid levels regularly if you still continue to struggle. How else do you feel within yourself - tired, dry skin, stressed? A lot of things can affect our weight.
• And finally, make sure you are eating enough. Eating not enough can actually have the opposite affect and slow our metabolism right down as our bodies can go into starvation mode.

Just my 2 cents. Give it time though. You won't see results overnight, but if you stick with it and dedicate yourself to it, you will notice changes and feel amazing.

Good luck!

5 ft 2. 77kg. Bmi is

Agree with all of this, especially the sleep. Apart from not eating enough / starvation mode. There is no such thing. If you are in a calorie deficit, your body burns body fat and you lose weight. Starvation mode is a complete myth.

The only thing about going too low calorie is it’s not sustainable for a lot of people so people tend to eat few calories, can’t maintain it, binge eat then ‘start again’ on their diet. That as a cycle isn’t ideal for weight loss - unless you lose more during your low cal period than you put on during your binge period.

The lower your calorie deficit the more fat you will lose. You don’t get to a point when you are ‘too low/starvation mode’ and don’t lose body fat, it just doesn’t work like that.

Apart from that, this is all really good advice xx

31.3

I've always been like this, I've lost 6 stone from weight loss surgery and still have the disproportionate pregnant stomach, not as big but still bulges. Im just putting it down to body shape (apple) as I've lost all the weight I can now and if I want it gone it'll have to be through surgery which I don't feel I need. I just dress what flatters my belly most , a-line, fit and flare etc. Hope this helps

Apart from not eating enough / starvation mode. There is no such thing. If you are in a calorie deficit, your body burns body fat and you lose weight. Starvation mode is a complete myth.

You may be right, but I've been on some very low calorie diets in the past and my metabolism has slowed down as a result. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone especially if you are weight training. Also, being too restrictive can also mess with your head and lead to 'binge eating' , stress and affect your mood. I'm speaking here from experience.

OP first, I want to encourage you and say you have nothing to be ashamed of. Lots of people look the person in your picture, and your shape isn't as uncommon as you think.

Next, I think you need to re-frame and change how you're thinking: looking at the changes you have made, you're right at the beginning of your journey. You haven't 'tried everything. In fact, the changes you have made are basic (e.g. walking) and potentially harmful (eating 1200 calories a day with many calories from fruit and crisps).

You need to educate yourself of healthy eating and needed exercise to lose weight, do this from credible sources. There are so many books and information online. Your diet changes and exercises are not effective for weight change - as others have mentioned you're eating a lot of sugar and fat. You shouldn't be starving yourself. And your exercise should challenge you (think heavy weights and HITT). You need to educate yourself and redirect your energy. Follow a tried and tested diet and exercise program (no celeb diets please). You clearly have the motivation and willpower to make changes, you just don't know the right changes to make.

But please, most of all, don't feel ashamed and embarrassed of your body or exercising hard at the gym, it will only hold you back.

I'm not usually an advocate of removing whole food groups but have you tried going gluten free? Your post doesn't mention that you eat much but it could contribute to bloating, it does for me really badly. It's hard at first, the bread and pasta substitutes aren't amazing but you can learn to fill up on other foods and after a while you don't miss it.