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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel ashamed, embarrassed and not know how to fix this?

468 replies

Avatarthewayofwater · 25/03/2023 18:51

I've taken the image from Google as I'm far to embarrassed to take a picture of myself.

Any weight I gain goes on my stomach and due to emotional binge eating I find myself here.

I did have ultrasound scans to check nothing underlying was going on, but no its visceral fat and only I can get rid if it.

The problem is I've changed my diet completely and calorie counting and eating healthy along with exercise. Yet nothing has changed stomach wise.

I'm so self conscious and I can't wear normal clothes because I constantly look pregnant.

Even at the gym I hide in a big hoodie so no one can see.

It's making me depressed and I don't know how to get rid of the stomach fat.

Has anyone else been like this and managed? I had a c section years ago and have an underactive thyroid if that makes any difference.

Please be kind...

To feel ashamed, embarrassed and not know how to fix this?
OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Original poster
Avatarthewayofwater · 25/03/2023 21:29

Crazy cat lady does that mean they get rid of the fat too or just sort out your skin? May I ask how much it cost?

OP posts:
AnxietyLevelMax · 25/03/2023 21:30

I am so sorry OP. I have the same issue and i have a belly same when I was over 4 months pregnant! But rest of me, and my weight are back to pre pregnancy time. In my case the issue is huge fibroid which grew a lot while i was pregnant and is still the same. No trousers or jeans for me! Leggins and dresses..it’s annoying

Sugarfish · 25/03/2023 21:31

How about getting a personal trainer who knows about nutrition? My friend had the same problem and the pt worked with her to make a meal plan that worked alongside the exercises she was doing. For example a carb heavy meal a few hours before a heavy cardio session and a protein heavy meal an hour after weights. It worked for her, she does pay him a lot though!

PhoenixIsFlying · 25/03/2023 21:33

My stomach is like this. Prior to pregnancy I was slim with strong stomach muscles. I had a massive baby bump and my stomach muscles parted (diactis rectis). It doesn't matter how much weight I lose, I still look permanently pregnant. The only thing that fixes it is an operation which is not on the NHS.

Original poster
Avatarthewayofwater · 25/03/2023 21:35

I can't afford a PT. I did speak with one from my local gym. But I just cannot afford £210 for 4 x 1 hour sessions. That's just one a month.

OP posts:
Garman · 25/03/2023 21:36

You’ve loads of carbs and sugar with all that fruit.

Garman · 25/03/2023 21:37

And you won’t stop feeling unfit by just walking on the treadmill, get stuck in with the weights and you’ll feel stronger and fitter pretty quickly.

NewContender · 25/03/2023 21:37

BreakingPointAgain · 25/03/2023 21:01

Is your hypothyroidism autoimmune? If so get a blood test for coeliac disease and cut out gluten.

This, but even if it’s not celiac, being hypothyroid, if auto-immune (hashimotos which is very common), can still mean that very often there’s gluten intolerance as the body confuses gluten with thyroid proteins. I’m probably not describing this well so best to find a medical source but it’s pretty well known and worth a try!

Original poster
Avatarthewayofwater · 25/03/2023 21:38

What should I be eating in place of some of the fruit?

OP posts:
Spellcheck · 25/03/2023 21:39

I'm exactly the same as you! I'm also perimenopausal.
5 children, 4 caesarians. Hashimoto's thyroiditis, and always put weight on my stomach. It's grim. I exercise every day, lots of variation and also reformer pilates 4 or more times a week. The muscle is there underneath, I can feel it, but the fat is all piled on top.
If I cut down on grains and RIGHT down on sugar (ie, none, not even fruit), I can lose it. Much more slowly now than I used to, but it can be done. It's bloody hard because I comfort/binge eat for dopamine (also ADHD - lucky me!)
I'm currently in the process of eliminating sugar out of my life and it's working. Will be a long journey but I can't afford a tummy tuck and lipo, so I'm determined to get there myself. I know it'll never be perfect but at the moment I look 8 months pregnant so I have to do this. Good luck x

Original poster
Avatarthewayofwater · 25/03/2023 21:40

For the person that asked about my thyroid. I take levothyroxine and my blood tests always come back as stable on my current dose. My cholesterol was a little high last time. And my blood pressure seems a bit high at the moment but that's doing it at home so may not be accurate.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 25/03/2023 21:40

Its your body. You may want to change things but theres nothing shameful. You havent done anything wrong.

Touty · 25/03/2023 21:45

Avatarthewayofwater · 25/03/2023 19:35

I can't afford liposuction.

I'm 37. The rest of me is a size 10-12 buy my belly is a size 16. So it's more obvious.

I can lose weight in other areas and am doing with eating healthy and exercising. But not even an inch off the belly.

Hi there, I fear that liposuction won’t solve the problem, you are likely to need a tummy tuck. I have a similar problem to you, went for a consultation wit a surgeon who said it would have to be a tummy tuck, just liposuction on its own would give bad results because of loose skin 😒

Original poster
Avatarthewayofwater · 25/03/2023 21:47

Sorry does a tummy tuck include removing the fat? It seems so expensive unless you go to Turkey. But I suspect there is a reason as to why it is cheaper there.

OP posts:
BakeOffRewatch · 25/03/2023 21:47

@Avatarthewayofwater did you say how long you’d been working out consistently? I’m the same, I’ve now been working out four time a week for 8 months, lost weight quickly elsewhere down from sz16 to sz8 (like underwear and dresses), but belly big. It is only now I have been able to feel my ribs where the upper part of the belly is going down and sides have gone down, it still projects out. I am also concerned health wise but no other indicators, no separation. I think it just takes a really really long time. I’ve read that it’s hormonal too and sleep pattern and stress affect fat distribution - unfortunately don’t see me getting loads of sleep or less stress for a while! Good luck and congratulations on making the changes to your lifestyle, the weight loss you’ve achieved so far is so great.

GG1986 · 25/03/2023 21:49

I have an underactive thyroid and struggle to lose weight, my tummy is a problem area also. I'm not sure how true this is but apparently for people with thyroid problems cardio exercise is not the best and you lose weight better by weight training, so that could be an idea. Diets are very difficult, only thing that's ever worked for me is slimming world, however I find it hard to stay motivated as the loss is slow and does go back on if you stop going, you may have better motivation than me though.

GG1986 · 25/03/2023 21:54

Also 1200 calories a day is not enough, you need to up your calories, maybe put a small jacket potato with your meat and veg at tea and handful of pasta with your salad at lunch.

Spellcheck · 25/03/2023 21:55

GG1986 · 25/03/2023 21:49

I have an underactive thyroid and struggle to lose weight, my tummy is a problem area also. I'm not sure how true this is but apparently for people with thyroid problems cardio exercise is not the best and you lose weight better by weight training, so that could be an idea. Diets are very difficult, only thing that's ever worked for me is slimming world, however I find it hard to stay motivated as the loss is slow and does go back on if you stop going, you may have better motivation than me though.

I took up running 3 x a week, 8 or 9 km each time and didn't lose an ounce. I was very fit and had muscly legs but still the big belly! Did it for 2 years and just looked hefty. So I think you're right about cardio not necessarily helping reduce a tummy. It also releases stress hormones which of course don't help either. I do much slower, shorter jogs now which I am finding really helps my fitness and at least burns some calories. Still look pregnant though!

Timeisallwehave · 25/03/2023 21:57

Coeliac?

Touty · 25/03/2023 21:57

Avatarthewayofwater · 25/03/2023 21:47

Sorry does a tummy tuck include removing the fat? It seems so expensive unless you go to Turkey. But I suspect there is a reason as to why it is cheaper there.

Yes, they remove fat and also a muscle repair if required, the will also usually liposuction for sculpting. My quote was for 7,500 euros ( I’m in Spain), thing is id already paid out thousands for a breast reduction 6 months earlier. Oh and the other thing which put me off was that the surgeon couldn’t guarantee that the fat wouldn’t come back!

Original poster
Avatarthewayofwater · 25/03/2023 21:57

Coeliac? How would I know? Off to Google...

OP posts:
Stayeduptoolateagain · 25/03/2023 21:59

Diastasis recti?

Ploddlewoddle · 25/03/2023 22:01

Do Michael Mosley’s Fast 800 keto diet - book on Amazon. In 12 weeks I reckon you would lose that fat on the belly. You would then move to 5:2 or some less restrictive eating plan but habits would be changed (fewer carbs). Belly fat suggests insulin resistance and so Keto will work well and address the weight issue. Two litres of water a day too.

You need to focus on the diet first get the weight off and then consider exercise though he does recommend 10,000 steps a day as part of the above diet.

You will get it off; it’s just a question of calorie deficit long enough to burn off the excess fat (that is 3,500kcal deficit for every 1lb of fat by the way).

Some on here will say (as pp said) no… too few calories. But it’s the only way to get it off quickly enough otherwise it will take too long in terms of restrictions and you will fail!

check with your doctor first given your underlying condition but my Dsis did this diet with Hashimotos and it worked wonders.

Good luck OP XX🍀

Timeisallwehave · 25/03/2023 22:03

Avatarthewayofwater · 25/03/2023 21:57

Coeliac? How would I know? Off to Google...

Causes your stomach to bloat, sometimes very little symptoms. You can get tested for it by the GP. Commonly linked with thyroid conditions, usually auto immune though.

I have both, very few symptoms apart from my stomach used to look like I was pregnant

Pixiedust1234 · 25/03/2023 22:05

I'm glad you have posted @Avatarthewayofwater as I have the same problem. I've had two cesareans so my muscle wall feels weak and "blows up" when I try to exercise.

I think I need to google parting stomach muscles (diactis rectis).