To feel ashamed, embarrassed and not know how to fix this?

[Avatarthewayofwater]

I've taken the image from Google as I'm far to embarrassed to take a picture of myself.

Any weight I gain goes on my stomach and due to emotional binge eating I find myself here.

I did have ultrasound scans to check nothing underlying was going on, but no its visceral fat and only I can get rid if it.

The problem is I've changed my diet completely and calorie counting and eating healthy along with exercise. Yet nothing has changed stomach wise.

I'm so self conscious and I can't wear normal clothes because I constantly look pregnant.

Even at the gym I hide in a big hoodie so no one can see.

It's making me depressed and I don't know how to get rid of the stomach fat.

Has anyone else been like this and managed? I had a c section years ago and have an underactive thyroid if that makes any difference.

Please be kind...

Yes, see a dietician before you embark on anything. Good luck.

Nb: you've absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about OP

I am exactly the same and both my parents are as well.

My father is overweight and not averse to a bit of fat shaming in others. When he has commented on me I tell him I can't help my genes.

I fucking hate it. I hate having people ask if i am pregnant.

Unfortunately, no diet can help you lose weight in a particular area. I've tried. I found, quite by mistake, that a pair of 'sleep shorts' bought in Primark in the wrong size (S instead of L) smoothed out my thighs, hips and tum. They are thin, stretchy, invisible under other clothes and cost £3 in light grey and dark teal blue. I'll post a photo.

Try the fodmap diet. I did this and it’s been a total game changer. I got a book and followed it there. It’s developed by scientists, so all evidence based.

OP I would get a second check on Diastasis recti. I was previously told by a women’s physio that I didn’t have any stomach muscle separation. Cut to 3 years later, my surgeon had to use 4 layers of stitches to fix my severe Diastasis recti (as part of a tummy tuck). I’ve gone from looking 6 months pregnant to having a flat stomach.
What it’s done for my mental health, I couldn’t put a price on!

Wow I have a lot of catching up to do. Thank you so much for all the advice.

I will admit that I'm a little confused by all the different advice.

Would it help if I did something like slimming World where you learn to eat healthy but without the stress of counting calories? Would that work alongside going to the gym regularly?

If you're only going to do one thing exercise wise, it should be strength training. It's hugely important for women, particularly as they age and approach menopause. Not that you are approaching menopause, but if you start weight training now, you'll get the benefits now, and it will be easier to continue when older. It prevents frailty, it will literally slow down the aging process. If you find the weights area of the gym intimidating, I'd encourage you to still try, but if you don't want to, get some dumbbells and do it at home. I've found the Les Mills On Demand app really good for strength training instruction, they have some videos for beginners, then a Strength Development series. The FiiT app is
good for beginners too. If you can afford it, just a couple of sessions with a PT so they can check your form is a good idea, but it's not 💯 necessary. You can still do the cardio if you enjoy it, but if you don't enjoy it, just do some training with weights that gets a sweat on. Strength training is the best way to change body composition, hopefully it will help your stomach, but even if it doesn't, it's a fab thing to do anyway. And it makes you feel like a warrior, getting strong is a great confidence builder ime. Everyone should do it, I'm a bit evangelical about it!

You will get a lot of conflicting advise on here, which will probably add to your frustration

but exercise is key to healthy body, for cholesterol and mental health so it’s really important to keep up everyday exercise

good luck

You could try intermittent fasting something similar to the Michael Mosley diet! My mum has had two c sections and struggles to lose weight. She fasts intermittently and it has worked. Some people just don’t suit eating three meals a day. If you do fast do not exercise and research best ways of doing it. You prob need a food allergy test too something you are eating could be causing you problems. I would also research vitamins too and make sure you have the right levels in your body.

It is confusing when you've got one poster saying you're not eating enough, another saying eat only 800kcal, and another saying 1000kcal, and another saying 1200kcal. Some say no carbs, others say add a jacket potato to your meals.

Probably best to have a session with a dietitian. The contradictory advice here is just confusing matters.

From my perspective: I've always had a flat stomach and stored weight on my thighs. However, this dramatically changed over the past 2 years. I suddenly had a ledge of stomach that started straight under my bust and curved around to my pubic area, i looked pregnant. Eventually diagnosed with underactive thyroid (after a long battle with gp). I'm now on 50mg levothyroxine, feel better than I was before and my stomach is less pronounced, but weight loss still a struggle and I honestly still feel rotten a lot of the time. My TSH is still hovering around 5, which is in normal range if you don't have thyroid problems and are on levothyroxine, but apparently your TSH should be around 1 if you're properly medicated. Unfortunately my gp is resistant to increasing my dose even though i feel like shite.

This is my long roundabout way of asking if your TSH is still too high? Your gp might say "you're at 4 or 5 and that's normal" when you should be at closer to 1 if you're on the right dose.

People are predisposed to different body types. Part of ageing is these become more pronounced as fat lays down in the areas they were always going to.
You could be an apple shape. It could be as simple as that.
For peace of mind, see your GP.
Please don't take some of the more...drastic advice on here.

No please don’t do that, skimming world is not eating healthily. You are already tracking your calories which is good, you just need to tweak what your eating by upping protein and swapping a bit of fruit IMO.
If you can at all, it would really would be really worth it to save up and book a couple of sessions with a PT at the gym ti show you weights and basic movements. I’ve lost 5st and my huge belly over a year by doing this - it’s been life changing.
There’s so much information online too. If you are confused just pick one of the ones mentioned on here and try them. Good luck !

BlackFlyChardonnay. Go and see another gp and say you feel shit and why should you when advise is for TSH to be lower. I’ve pushed with a new doctor to get what I had with my old gp and although originally was going to lower my dose, she accepted that my previous gp was correct in the treatment ( I don’t have a thyroid though but mine is below 1)

interestingly I’m not hungry when TSH was 6 and lost weight as was never hungry 🤷‍♀️

I think Slimming World is not a great idea, yes people get results, but it encourages an unhealthy relationship to food. You need to up your protein. You'll feel fuller, and amplify the benefits of the strength training that you're presumably now going to start after all the advice on this thread! If you want to follow a diet, I think Team RH is good, the couple who run it are a bit annoying, but it's a good solid healthy diet and exercise plan.

I'm the same and I'm doing powerlifting and working with a nutrition coach and I know for me my belly won't go till I've lost all my excess fat elsewhere so at the moment my chest and thighs are dropping fat.

With your diet you need to not just be concerned about calories but also getting the right amount of carbs / protein and fats. Protein is something that a lot of people don't eat enough of.

Can I suggest something like the 28 by Sam Wood program - I'm in Aus but there people from all over the world that use it. It's meal plans and all different exercises.

For those recommending Team RH can you tell me more about it please? I can see you need to pay monthly, so I'd love to know much more about it before commiting.

One piece of advice....not one person in that gym is looking at you. Stick your headphones on and get stuck in

Going to the gym does NOT help you lose weight and that's a fact. It might help tone and tighten muscles but it won't get rid of a lot of lose skin which becomes less effective the older you are. It loses the ability to spring back into the shape it was. Don't take my word for it, it's a proven fact. Plenty of walking will have the same effect as some gym work without the cost, up and down steps and hilly areas, even on pavements AND it's in the fresh air.
Meanwhile, here are photos of the shorts I mentioned which will smooth you out. Buy 2 sizes smaller than your jeans. If you normally buy 10-12 buy XS in the shorts. I buy them to sleep in although they're not in the nightwear section of Primark. For £3 they're worth a try and they wash n dry overnight

OP - another one here to advise you to seek the advice of a professional dietician. I'd also seek some advice about your exercise routine as well as you may need to look at some weight exercises as well as the cardio you are doing. Building muscle can help with tone and potentially help you burn fat faster if you are on the right diet.

It can take a long time and a lot of effort to shift visceral fat for women. Keep going and get the advice.

Primark shorts

Do try Slimming World, and try and work out. Being with others will support you and motive you.
If you are in the right mind set you will get good results.
Best of luck

I will ring my gp tomorrow when they open at 8am but from experience it can take over a week to get a telephone appointment. But if unsuccessful I'll ring back in the afternoon and ask about dietician appointments.

You'll need a GP appointment first, hopefully you could maybe get a referral to a dietician

Ignore all of the above. See your GP first. Make sure they take you seriously.

1 hour walking... most days? Generally eat < 1200 kcal/day, still 77 kg from legacy of emotional overeating. When did you last have an emotional eating binge?