To not be over what happened to me during covid/lockdowns

[ifyougochasingrabbits]

Just a few of the things I went through

Losing my cleaning business i had built up over years overnight due to everyone cancelling us

Being humiliated by the headteacher at DC school shouting at me in front of other parents because I refused to wear a mask outside . My little girl being made to start school late and finish late because I was unable to wear a mask to collect her (school run was all outside I may add and I had no problem wearing masks in shops etc but I drew the line at in the fresh air outside)

watching thousands of pounds of income disappear at an alarming rate. while wondering if we’d still have jobs and be able to keep the house we’d worked our arses off for for years to buy. Going through six months of trauma with H furloughed and depressed because his work could not guarantee he'd still have a job at the end of it. He was on half pay as furlough was only paid up to about 30k salary iirc and if you were on more it was employers discretion to pay the full salary which his work didn't. He was even applying for jobs at supermarkets and delivery driving etc and getting no where despite having a high level job at a major house builder.

Watching selfish morons stockpiling at the very beginning

“Friends” dumping me, one Cos I dared voice out loud that I wasn’t personally scared of covid and was struggling with restrictions and did not agree with them.

Having to deal with the fact that many of my (remaining) friends had views I completely don’t agree with and accepting they probably feel same about me.
And having to cope with the fact they supported restrictions that were destroying our lives and mental health

Having my business absolutely trashed all over social media and being called a dirty bitch and worse by local people. Fake bad reviews etc. The “reason” was they took exception to me saying on a local page post that I didn't believe in masks in school (this was due to my kids really struggling with them) My 14 year old said he agreed and some of them then found him on fb and messaged him insulted his looks and called him stupid and a fucking moron etc. This was actual grown adults.

a random person inboxed me on Facebook due to seeing my business ad and threatened to "smash my face in" because she thinks i was “endangering lives” by working

My neighbour reporting us to the police for having an illegal gathering. This "illegal gathering" was me, my H and our 3 dc having a bbq in the garden. Needless to say we all live together

Being put on medication for panic attacks and anxiety in fact I minimised it to the gp. I was actually suicidal and the only reason I am still here is because of my kids and the fact my husband and parents had the same views as me. But I would secretly hope to die in my sleep and almost every day I would wake up and cry because I was still here.

Watching my 3 Kids completely fall apart due to schools being closed. While not only having to deal with seeing posts all over fb about how well other kids were doing and coping doing all their work, managing great. And knowing some people I care about actually wanted schools shut. One of my kids is still very unwell mentally and it all started with lockdowns

Oh and to add final insult to injury, in November 2021 I had to pay £5700 (which was part credit card and part all of our savings) privately for an operation that should have been freely available on the nhs. But cos covid they could not give me a date and I was getting more and more poorly and could not wait.

I am still angry and maybe I should get over it. But I can't. And There's probably more but these are the stand out moments. I'm doing okay now and I have a new business and I'm doing well, H has a new job as he could not trust his old place after covid. but I've been very low again recently with the anniversary of it all

she used to laugh at people wearing masks outside

And you complained about bullying?? Even though your daughter was bullying others.

My mum died, she caught covid having a minor day patient procedure in Hospital. Had a mask on, everyone did. It didn’t work. Caught it from a medical professional who believed the vaccine stopped transmission (you were allowed out and about as long as you were ‘fully vaccinated’ at that time even if you had covid. Masks and vaccines gave people a false sense of security. I wasn’t allowed to visit her as she was dying. I had to watch two nurses who were wearing nothing more that a paper blue mask that I could have worn, film her dying for me. I’ll never get over it. The insanity and cruelty of it. Still wouldn’t have worn a mask outside when I was distancing, it was pointless and idiotic. I tend not to cough or sneeze on people as a matter of politeness. I hate the posts saying that people died because YOU didn’t wear a mask etc people died wearing masks, people died regardless of whether someone sat in their car alone wearing a mask for the theatre of it all. The nastiness and vitriol the whole thing caused and is still causing is disgusting.

Well maybe you should have stopped her. What horrible pieces of work you both sound.

The school should have punished her.

I absolutely agree with you OP.

well done for raising a little arsehole

she used to laugh at people wearing masks outside and when they put their ridiculous biohazard tape in the playground she went round pulling it off. And i didn't stop her. She is almost 9 now and a strong clever feisty girl who takes absolutely no shit

OP - this whole thing is just making you sound stupid and your kid sound like a bully.

You're not a doctor. You don't have a PhD. You haven't done years of training and been promoted to a high position. So why do you think you know better than those that have? I guess if they came to your work and told you how to file down a nail or microblade eyebrows, you'd think they need to stay in their lane, and rightly so. So I think you'd better do the same.

I'm sorry you lost your mum but really I would have thought that someone in your shoes would have supported any measures that, at the time, might have made a difference to someone else?

Shoe on the other foot - how many people's lives were saved because of the drastic measures? That's something we will never know.

I had no problem wearing a mask even if the difference it made was 1%.

I worked on a ward throughout.

By the end of the pandemic I was sick of all the extremists. The conspiracy theorists thinking they were super-clever (when the opposite was often true) for challenging the government’s views, and thinking that there was something special about them. When they were actually sheep themselves, quoting the same ‘info’ from telegram and the same few clinicians who denied the existence of covid. But I also couldn’t stand the judgemental sanctimonious idiots preaching to everyone about masks, reporting their neighbours and telling teens off for meeting in groups of over six in public parks.

And most of all, schools should have fully opened in May/June; I am still furious with all who colluded in their continued closure.
My child developed significant MH issues during lockdown and I am angry about that.

But largely I kept quiet. Because I had a job to do on the NHS ward. Not as a hero (ugh at the clapping). But that’s because my job was to work there. I bit my tongue and didn’t say what I thought about friends’ and relatives’ extreme views.

And I am glad I kept silent. Everyone was dealing with their own stuff and had their own version of events. Not much would have been gained by alienating others.

I am sorry for all those who experienced bereavements. Whilst my child had serious MH issues and ended up in hospital, a death is in a different league, esp when you couldn’t even visit loved ones.

This.

If your business was so important to you - a business for which hygiene and PPE is actually a significant factor - I can't believe your were so foolish as to aggressively undermine that position in public.

You don't have to agree with something to have the common sense to make decisions protecting your business. I certainly wouldn't hire a cleaner who thought that they were an epidemiologist (whether you were right or not is irrelevant - you're not qualified to decide and neither am I).

This thread encapsulates everything bad about modern society;

1. it didn’t happen to me therefore that perspective is untrue
2. only one position can be true at any one time
3. lack of acceptance there are multiple perspectives on the same event
4. lack of understanding people do things for reasons not immediately obvious
5. people might have different perspectives on what the moral high ground is
6. people are stuck arguing over soundbites rather than trying to understand all sides and apply both empathy and critical thinking
7. people think bullying is acceptable if they think they have numbers/ the moral high ground behind them
8. lack of understanding about mental illness

@Woeismeitappears I'm so sorry for everything you and your family went through. X

Yes, people are being encouraged to be angry that he broke his own rules. Actually, people should be angry that politicians think they have the right to tell you to stay in your own home in the first place and to tell you that you must close your business and sit at home and go bankrupt. I don't think some people will ever figure it out.

So what should have happened, in your 'expert' opinion?

Countries locked down all over the world. You knew better? Really?

As for BoJo et al, even if they were together partying was not a good look when people literally couldn't see their own families. If they couldn't lead by example, then god help us. Even partying the night before Prince Philip's funeral. How churlish and disrespectful can you get?!

You overestimate yourself. You are selfish and it sounds like your DD doesn't know how to behave. Willfully destroying school property? She should behave herself.

Do you ever just wished you kept your mouth zipped and toed the line?. Not really worth getting humiliated for was it?

Grow the fuck up and try and use some critical thinking skills. I see the OP as having trouble with the three year anniversary and struggling still to come to terms with what happened. People are lashing out at her and she's lashing back. Maybe she shouldn't, but people shouldn't do or say lots of things.

When you're struggling AIBU is the last place to post.

This is what I mean about the divisions which started in 2015 getting so out of control. I hope the OP doesn't come back to this thread.

Moveoverdarlin · Today 13:22Do you ever just wished you kept your mouth zipped and toed the line?. Not really worth getting humiliated for was it?

Some things are worth standing up for, even if it is an inconvenience.

Countries locked down all over the world. You knew better? Really?

Nobody knew better. Some people just chose not to be cowards.

As for Bozo parties - the bottom line is... he wasn't scared. So why were you?

Really don’t think she’s struggling. She’s taking delight in winding people up.

People realise now that they made fools of themselves.

So they're massively pissed off with this OP because she's the available target 3 years after the fact. Because she put herself in that position.

They ignore the financial, emotional, mental health etc impacts which are still factors 3 years later and want to jump on "you didn't wear a mask outside" , well that sums up you as a person you self-centred bitch.

There was no science then or now to suggest there was any reason for people to wear masks outside.

At all. OP not wearing a mask outside risked literally no-one but people want to ignore that fact and jump on the OP for being selfish and got whatever she deserved in terms of abuse and STILL three years later being a self-centered twat who should've just done something that was completely not needed,

Well your first 4 words are ironic aren’t they?

What problem? Problem for who?

I gritted my teeth, got my head down and got through lockdown - managed to hold on to my income and my mates, unlike the OP.

The idea that there's 'a problem' seems to suggest that there is a version of events where a new deadly virus is unleashed on the world and there isn't a complete shitshow.

Like, there was no way a pandemic was gonna happen and life would just go on as normal. Whether it was handled properly at the time or not.

I honestly don't know what people think should have happened instead. Imagine hearing about a lethal virus that science has never seen before and the government not doing anything about it and letting everyone just crack on. All the 'stick it to the man' people on here would be the first to be up in arms demanding something to be done.

As for Bozo parties - the bottom line is... he wasn't scared. So why were you?

@JazbayGrapes He and other members of parliment weren't worried because if they or their child desperately needed a hospital bed after a car crash, for emergency surgery etc, they'd get it.

For the rest of us, the impacts of an uncontrolled pandemic could have been fatal.

The issue was always minimising the total number of people ill at one time, rather than specifically being scared of COVID if you were low risk.

Does that make sense?

Actually, people should be angry that politicians think they have the right to tell you to stay in your own home in the first place and to tell you that you must close your business and sit at home and go bankrupt. I don't think some people will ever figure it out.

that is what the government is for. To go with the Blitz analogy that people so loved in 2020: "oh I'm so cross the government forced me to use blackout curtains and keep the lights off even though The Blitz was going on"

How very dare the government make me pay taxes and educate my children. If I want to drink a litre of vodka and then drive myself home, that's my fucking business!