AIBU nursery worker stepped on my baby's hand

[2babies93]

DD is 12 months. She's been at nursery for a few months as I'm back at work. We've had a few problems there, mostly though, the manager's attitude sucks. We decided to look for, and have found, somewhere else, but they don't have space for 6 months. (This is because of other unrelated issues which are not relevant to this incident).

Last week I got a call from the nursery; "A carer was walking past DD and then she started crying. On review of CCTV we can't see what happened, but they may have stepped on her hand." Her hand was red and sore after, but not swollen. She was fine that evening when I picked her up.

They won't let me see the CCTV - is that normal?

I understand that kids have accidents. She's banged her head, fallen over, been bitten etc. and these incidents don't really bother me (much) because I know they will happen. Kids don't know how to play nicely and with staff ratios, they won't be able to prevent everything. I've never complained about an injury/incident before this - and I've not yet formally or otherise complained about this, but I think I might (help!).

I'm uncmofortable with the fact that the carer "may have" stepped on her. Surely you'd know? If it's just an accident, why not just admit it? Also, I feel like this type of accident isn't acceptable. This is not DD v another child, it's DD v an adult. An adult who's working in a nursery and should be careful where they are stepping, right?

I need some outside influence. My main concerns are:

1. The use of "may have", it feels like a cover up?
2. I can't see the CCTV. My older DD was at a different nursery (moved house) and we could see the CCTV of any incidents if requested.
3. The fact that she was hurt by an adult. I don't feel like stepping on a child is acceptable, even if accidentally.

AIBU to insist on seeing the CCTV? WIBU to I take her out early because of this incident? I don't know what we'd do for childcare, but I feel so uncomfortable leaving her there. I'm really upset...

Thank you, please be nice even if I'm being unreasonable. I'm here for help/to get perspective.

1. The use of "may have", it feels like a cover up?
2. IMO 'may have' just means it's not clear and the care worker can't be sure. Are you really insinuating that someone purposely hurt your child, of which there was literally no evidence at home time but they still told you? Seriously?
3. I can't see the CCTV. My older DD was at a different nursery (moved house) and we could see the CCTV of any incidents if requested.
4. already explained. Are you expecting something you can take to the police?
5. The fact that she was hurt by an adult. I don't feel like stepping on a child is acceptable, even if accidentally.
6. if you haven't accidentally hurt your child, it's only a matter of time. I really think you need to unclench.

If the Ofsted report was published yesterday, why aren't you telling us what it says?

For whatever reason you don't like this nursery. Take a sabbatical for six months or something if you can't bear to send her.

Reading some of these comments makes it perfectly clear why nurseries struggle so much to recruit and retain staff.

Could you imagine facing some of these mothers every day for minimal wages?

Senior social workers, the police, serious neglect, prosecutions…give yourself peace.

I recently gesticulated while talking to someone, DS1 crept up behind me and got (lightly) backhanded in the face. I've stood on my kids hands, tripped over them, got my jewellery stuck in their hair blablabla.

"May have stood on her hand"? Easy, worker is focused and moving fairly swiftly, doesn't feel the hand and carries on, baby does the pre-cry gasp and lip wobble that the worker can't hear, THEN bursts into tears. Worker comes to help crying baby, sees red hand. "Oh no, I didn't feel anything, but I might have stood on her hand walking past just now, look it's all red :("

@Mammyloveswine your a monster

UPDATE:

Thanks for all your responses. I talked to some other parents at the nursery about this incident. As I mentioned, quite a few had already complained to Ofstead for various reasons, including an unrelated GDPR breach - which is probably one of the reasons they are so strict about the CCTV now... Their suggestion was to phone Ofstead. So, I called them about this incident, and went into more detail than I can post online. I know a lot of people on here think that it's overkill, but, worst case scenario if they have done nothing wrong, and I'm just OTT, when the nursery is inspected, and if everything is above board, then there's no issue. They could even come out with a "Good" report, which would be attractive to parents.

We received an email on Friday saying Ofstead were doing another inspection. We don't know whether this is a routine one, or emergency one. The inspector called me a few days before the inspection (obviously didn't tell me they were planning to inspect) to get more details of the incident(s). She remained neutral and listened to my concerns. Now we are just wating for the report...

We did take our daughter out of the nursery. She has a place somewhere else in 5 months, until then, my husband is working from home 2 days a week, MIL is helping one day a week and I am currently swapping into working weekends to have her the other 2 weekdays. It's a nightmare logistically, but at least I know that she's being looked after properly. Two of my friends still have children there. They are waiting for the report, before potentially removing them as well. They have found space elsewhere from Spetember just in case.

That's a good update. I was about to say of course accidents happen but the "may have" language used would also make me raise an eyebrow. I'd also be concerned they wouldn't allow me to see the CCTV footage and would make me think they were hiding something. I would understand not being allowed copies or taking footage due to confidentiality of other children but I'd insist on seeing the footage of MY child being injured in their care.
Hopefully you get some answers from OFSTED.

Well she isn't going to be looked after properly if your DH is doing so whilst working from home is she. But yes generally if you're uncomfortable with a setting or have concerns it's right to remove your child.

It was accident. They aren’t covering up because they told you about it! The CCTV will contain images of other kids

This thread is nonsense. It has obviously been made up by Mumsnet to plug a gap/ attract interest to the site/ turn people against nurseries (which seems to be some kind of new agenda here).

First of all, the idea that Ofsted would carry out an emergency inspection because a staff member ‘may’ have accidentally trodden on a child’s hand is ridiculous.

Secondly, the idea that an Ofsted inspector would call a parent to discuss an incident that may or may not have happened and resulted in no discernible injury, IN ADVANCE of an emergency inspection, tipping them off about it in the process, is absurd. Laughable.

Surely you can do better than this Mumsnet. I know the education system is appalling and people’s IQs are generally on the decline, but even so. No one can be daft enough to believe this.

I agree @User8646382.

On the off chance that this is real, wfh around a baby is an accident waiting to happen.

Our nursery has cameras up for parents to log in and view of each and every room.

They will show parents footage of any incidents if the parent wishes to see, and will offer it if the incident is of a more serious nature, i.e. to see a mechanism of injury to take to a medics professional.

They’re transparent and open and it is a brilliant nursery as a result.

Any secrecy or vagueness about an injury to a child would be concerning.

But what will seeing it change? You're not happy with the nursery anyway.

Well of course if you're not happy with a nursery then you should remove your child.

But honestly accidents happen. I don't think you're necessarily unreasonable to be a bit dubious of the 'might have stepped on her' style language but you seem mad that it happened at all.

I opened the car door and whacked my son on the head with it when he was 2 because I thought he was further away than he was, I felt truly awful, he had a good egg for a while! Point being genuine accidents will happen from time to time. It could be you or your husband next bumping her head on the door frame when you're carrying her, trapping a finger etc.. it happens to everyone at some point or another.

It was an accident. If the nursery was really covering up your child being stamped on they wouldn't mention anything to you at all.

You obviously don't like the nursery so the sensible thing to do is look elsewhere for a temporary 6 month place until your desired nursery becomes available.

The OP just sounds utterly ghastly

Well said.

Don't be ridiculous, accidents happen every second of every day.

Where do you live that ofsted call parents?