AIBU nursery worker stepped on my baby's hand

[2babies93]

DD is 12 months. She's been at nursery for a few months as I'm back at work. We've had a few problems there, mostly though, the manager's attitude sucks. We decided to look for, and have found, somewhere else, but they don't have space for 6 months. (This is because of other unrelated issues which are not relevant to this incident).

Last week I got a call from the nursery; "A carer was walking past DD and then she started crying. On review of CCTV we can't see what happened, but they may have stepped on her hand." Her hand was red and sore after, but not swollen. She was fine that evening when I picked her up.

They won't let me see the CCTV - is that normal?

I understand that kids have accidents. She's banged her head, fallen over, been bitten etc. and these incidents don't really bother me (much) because I know they will happen. Kids don't know how to play nicely and with staff ratios, they won't be able to prevent everything. I've never complained about an injury/incident before this - and I've not yet formally or otherise complained about this, but I think I might (help!).

I'm uncmofortable with the fact that the carer "may have" stepped on her. Surely you'd know? If it's just an accident, why not just admit it? Also, I feel like this type of accident isn't acceptable. This is not DD v another child, it's DD v an adult. An adult who's working in a nursery and should be careful where they are stepping, right?

I need some outside influence. My main concerns are:

1. The use of "may have", it feels like a cover up?
2. I can't see the CCTV. My older DD was at a different nursery (moved house) and we could see the CCTV of any incidents if requested.
3. The fact that she was hurt by an adult. I don't feel like stepping on a child is acceptable, even if accidentally.

AIBU to insist on seeing the CCTV? WIBU to I take her out early because of this incident? I don't know what we'd do for childcare, but I feel so uncomfortable leaving her there. I'm really upset...

Thank you, please be nice even if I'm being unreasonable. I'm here for help/to get perspective.

I would 10000000000000% insist to see the cctv.

Im not sure of the law on it but i wouldnt leave until i did see it.

Not sure on CCTV rules, I'd expect not to be able to view it because of safeguarding policies for other children etc.
Honestly, I think it sounds like an accident. I've definitely stood on (all 4 of) my kids by accident at one point or another, felt terrible about it and apologised, but accidents happen. I'm sure she didn't put her stomping boots on and specifically go over to crush your child.
The may have comment...suspect it would be very hard to really tell on cctv and if the staff member just caught her hand, had shoes on etc.
It sounds like your little one is ok though which is great news. I wouldn't think this particularly out the ordinary for nursery accidents.

The fact you aren't allowed to view the cctv may be because the parents of the other children don't want other people viewing their kids. They might not give permission for sharing the images.
An adult accidentally stepping on a child's hand is an accident, it isn't an intentional thing to hurt the child. It's not 'unacceptable', it is an accident and these things happen. It doesn't sound like she was seriously injured or that it has happened before.
If you aren't happy, take her out early. Simple as.

I think the fact that she was fine at pick up and they've gone out their way to investiga/identify what may have happened and tell you is admirable and shows honesty.

Stepping on a hand, it's not great but it happens. When my own DC were crawling I accidentally stood on fingers a couple of times if they'd crept up behind me and I didn't see them before stepping away. The issue here is more to do with their handling of it and the fact it's the latest in a series of issues - the main factor here is that your trust in them is gone and once that happens it's no longer the right setting for your DC.

Do you have any family who could help you out in the meantime on a temporary basis? I've done this for my nephews before when my brother was between childcare providers, I would have him on my two days off, my mum had him on her day off, DB worked from home on another of the days, SIL worked from home the next. It was a pain but it worked for the short term.

Alternatively, is there a childminder nearby who has space to take your DC for the six months?

I would have thought you might not be able to see the CCTV due to other children being in it.

Accidents do happen and unless you think they were deliberately inflicting a significant amount of pain I'm not sure there's much to be concerned about.

DD lost a tooth at nursery when she was 3 when she tripped over an adult's foot on concrete. Not our best day but it was an accident.

Then you wouldn't be leaving because they likely can't show it due to the other children in the footage.

OP, it sounds like an accident and because you're unhappy with the tower areas of the nursery you're building this into a big thing. If DD is okay, chalk it up to an accident and keep it in mind if anything else happens

It was an accident. At the end of the day if you were happy with the nursery you wouldn't think twice about such an accident. It's the fact you don't like the setting that is leading to your reaction. Either take her out or accept that between now and her moving that sometimes accidents are going to happen.

It sounds like an accident to me, it happens and certainly something many parents will have done too. They’ve informed you, looked into it and your child is fine. I wouldn’t take this any further, but if you have additional concerns that’s another matter.

That's how I feel at the moment.

I've seen other comments about safeguarding other children, but I really don't see the harm in any parent wanting to see the footage from when their child was hurt? Surely collectively as parents, this is better for safeguarding than the risk that I'll see another child on the CCTV? I mean, I see other children at drop off/pick up...

What is the risk of another mum looking at the CCTV? (Genuinely curious, and happy to change my opinion if anyone can give me a real safeguarding risk).

I worked at a place and no staff were permitted to view the cctv let alone visitors. Only management or the police could view it.

Well i would, but with my child in my arms.

Other children in the footage...what you talking about, i see the other children ever day in the room when i do drop off. also it must be at most a 10 second clip.

I can't say for a nursery but our cctv rules at work are very clear that when a request is placed to view a personal image (ie of themselves) we can provide this on the condition thay no other individual is in the frame. If other people are within the frame, the cctv cannot be shared under any circumstances (except to police).

@2babies93 the CCTV isn't about safeguarding risk it's about Privacy, you have a right to request footage of you or your child but if it shows other people and they can't reasonably retract/blur their images then they can refuse your request.

The use of "may have", it feels like a cover up?

It’s probably not clearly visible - blocked by furniture, poor resolution, bad angle. It’s not a conspiracy. If it were a cover up then they wouldn’t have said anything. Going out of their way to tell you something might have happened is not how most cover-ups tend to happen.

I can't see the CCTV. My older DD was at a different nursery (moved house) and we could see the CCTV of any incidents if requested.

If other children are in view then you cannot view the CCTV. That is a very hard no. It’s a safeguarding risk. Absolutely no chance, no way, no how.

The fact that she was hurt by an adult. I don't feel like stepping on a child is acceptable, even if accidentally.

Accidents happen. I’ve stepped on my DC’s feet, probably a hand too at some point - definitely tripped over the dogs. It’s an accident. What do you want to happen? Nursery staff float to stop them stepping anywhere?

Clearly you hate the nursery but I really don’t think they’ve done anything wrong. Accidents do happen and it’s not ideal but there’s not much that you can do.

It’s both safeguarding and privacy laws/regulations/guidance that cover CCTV footage recording and distribution. You’re not wrong about the outcome though.

Sorry, I don't think that's a good enough reason to not be able to see an incident where my child was hurt. Every parent/worker there know's there's CCTV.

Because as the CCTV was filming, little Jonny decided to pull his pants down and shout ‘wee wee’ whilst holding onto his willy!!!!! Of course they can’t show you the CCTV !
I had a child crawl up behind me once as I stepped backwards onto their fingers. I was mortified but it was an accident and I’d have been horrified if the parents hadn’t agreed. You do sound nasty op, I bet nursery are counting down the days until you leave.

Perfectly normL.not to share CCTV with parents especially if other children on it. Sounds like an accident and bot a big issue. Pick your battles! Non issue.

I bet if footage of your DD was shown to every parent who had a strip then you’d make a complaint about that. Why do you think you get special treatment?

Why does management's attitude stink?

Of course “because it’s illegal” is a good enough reason for them to say no to you. Good grief, what would you accept as good enough if that’s not?! 😂

@2babies93 you are being unreasonable.

You think that the nursery adhering to the Law and not putting themselves in breach and at risk of penalties is "not a good enough reason".

It was an accident, it was an understandable accident, any one with reason can see how it could easily happen.

If you don't like the nursery, then fine stop using them but they haven't done anything wrong here.

Correct. Only authorised persons can view CCTV which is the law.

Sorry, I don't think that's a good enough reason to not be able to see an incident where my child was hurt. Every parent/worker there know's there's CCTV.

You're acting like you think it's the nursery's own rule. It isn't.