AIBU nursery worker stepped on my baby's hand

[2babies93]

DD is 12 months. She's been at nursery for a few months as I'm back at work. We've had a few problems there, mostly though, the manager's attitude sucks. We decided to look for, and have found, somewhere else, but they don't have space for 6 months. (This is because of other unrelated issues which are not relevant to this incident).

Last week I got a call from the nursery; "A carer was walking past DD and then she started crying. On review of CCTV we can't see what happened, but they may have stepped on her hand." Her hand was red and sore after, but not swollen. She was fine that evening when I picked her up.

They won't let me see the CCTV - is that normal?

I understand that kids have accidents. She's banged her head, fallen over, been bitten etc. and these incidents don't really bother me (much) because I know they will happen. Kids don't know how to play nicely and with staff ratios, they won't be able to prevent everything. I've never complained about an injury/incident before this - and I've not yet formally or otherise complained about this, but I think I might (help!).

I'm uncmofortable with the fact that the carer "may have" stepped on her. Surely you'd know? If it's just an accident, why not just admit it? Also, I feel like this type of accident isn't acceptable. This is not DD v another child, it's DD v an adult. An adult who's working in a nursery and should be careful where they are stepping, right?

I need some outside influence. My main concerns are:

1. The use of "may have", it feels like a cover up?
2. I can't see the CCTV. My older DD was at a different nursery (moved house) and we could see the CCTV of any incidents if requested.
3. The fact that she was hurt by an adult. I don't feel like stepping on a child is acceptable, even if accidentally.

AIBU to insist on seeing the CCTV? WIBU to I take her out early because of this incident? I don't know what we'd do for childcare, but I feel so uncomfortable leaving her there. I'm really upset...

Thank you, please be nice even if I'm being unreasonable. I'm here for help/to get perspective.

Their hand was fine when you picked them up, they haven't hidden it or brushed it under the rug, they've looked through the footage and been honest with you. What's the issue?

Ofsted? Police? Wtf hopefully people are being sarcastic.

I've stood on my cat, dog, child, shit, a dead crunchy frog, a slug. Sometimes we stand on things by accident. Babies can get under your feet. The one thing that does surprise me is the "may have". I was very sure I had stood on all of the above as apart from the shit and the dead crunchy frog, the others howled, so I knew I had stood on them. Surely a baby cries if you stand on them and you react really quickly to comfort them and make sure they are ok.

Im not sure what you think seeing the CCTV will achieve - they have said that she may have been stepped on probably because it isnt clear but they have done the right thing completely in telling you that something might have happened but your child is completely fine so no issue.

They arent being weird in telling you you cant see the CCTV, it doesnt mean they are covering anything up.

The fact that she was hurt by an adult. I don't feel like stepping on a child is acceptable, even if accidentally.

Working in a childcare setting doesnt make you immune to being a normal human that accidently steps on things sometimes.

Then you need to campaign about the law, not complain to the nursery that is following the law.

This also isn't exclusive to nurseries - I managed work sites where we had CCTV and the rules were exactly the same, I could only give someone access to footage for valid reason and if other people's privacy was maintained.

I would absolutely expect to be able to see the cctv footage. No they can't send you a copy, but you can view it from their PC.

Think this is the right thing to do

It's not illegal. Try reading CCTV legislation.

No you can't.

You can't actually. You have to submit a subject access request, which can be redacted as they see fit or declined. Where do people get this rubbish that you can just barge in their office and 'demand' to see the footage? lol

Read CCTV legislation. It's regulated for a reason. You

Exactly — that's what smells wrong to me about this situation. If someone stood on a baby's hand they will have noticed. Either it was something else altogether that happened, meaning the nursery either don't know what happened so can't prevent it happening again with worse consequences or do know what happened and are hiding it, or the staff member who stood on the baby, and must know damn well they stood on the baby, is hiding the fact that they know they did that. I would much rather have babies being looked after by people who are honest. CCTV or not, if a staff member stood on a baby I'd expect them to have told someone about that or recorded it. If they'll deny all knowledge of a minor accident that caused no serious harm, what else will they lie about?

I don't think legally they can share the CCTC with you. https://www.gov.uk/guidance/surveillance-and-monitoring-in-residential-childcare-settings

What the fuck is “CCTV legislation”?!

This doesn't make sense to me.
How is the nursery apparently covering up anything? Your baby cried, they didn't know why, they looked at cctv and still couldn't be certain, but thought it was possible that someone stepped on her hand. I assume it's "may have" because the person stepping didn't feel anything underfoot and is therefore not sure that they can have stepped on her, "but on the other hand she started crying as I walked past so perhaps it's possible that I stepped on a finger without noticing...."

If they wanted to cover up, they just could have said nothing, handed over your baby who by then was calm and with no visible injury, and you'd have been none the wiser.

Not everything is clear cut in life. This really really would not have bothered me at all. I'd have thanked them for drawing it to my attention and watched her that evening for any signs of illness or any bumps or anything that might provide an alternative explanation for her getting upset, since nobody was 100 percent sure what happened.

With ratios of 1:8 in baby rooms, and crawling or tottering babies, accidents are going to happen. If this is the worst thing you have to deal with in relation to your daughter you are incredibly blessed.

That's exactly my point. How would you not know? If they admitted it, I wouldn't be writing this post! Or wanting to view the CCTV.

I suspect you can't view cctv because there are other children in the video.
"May" have stepped on is a bit strange. It's not unusual for children to be crawling all over the place so it's quite easy to step on a child's hand. Having said that, if you are not comfortable, I would definitely leave the nursery.

But do you not see that they didn't have to tell you anything? Your child was fine, with no injuries when you picked her up. If there was something to hide, why would they then bring tit to you attention. It doesn't make sense. @IndiganDop put it perfectly. You are now imagining a big conspiracy between different staff member to hide and cover up something you would never have known about if they weren't honest in the first place.

That's my maim concern. If they just admitted it, I'd not think twice.

They have admitted the " may have. " - so they are not covering it up - they probably do not know the specific circumstances but you can't go again the law and demand CCTV - accidents do happen . So to my shame I failed to catch DS when he fell over once and he has a slight scar from stitches . It was an accident. Me not the nursery.

I think other posters are right - if your trust is broken with this nursery - then remove your child. But I suspect you are a hiding to nothing to expect CCTV which may show other children. Report as you will but if you do not trust the nursery then find another. This is a long time ago but at DS's nursery there was a book where any falling over , injury , however slight had to be written down. I trusted that nursery & thereby might be the difference.

I accidentally poked my daughter in the eye earlier. Maybe I should turn myself in to social services.

Any parents of adopted or care givers of looked after children would be very upset if you saw images of their children.
Say you recognised a LO who'd been removed from the Local Authority and placed into care, but LO's birth parents were friends or colleagues and you were to say, without any knowledge of course, "didn't know our LO's were in the same room at little angels", you've accidentally put many people and children in danger.
Sadly, not out the realm of possibility.

I'm a clumsy fucker and I've gone tumbling over my kids more times than I'd care to share, but something about the lack of clarification seems off.

Trust your judgement, new and shiny isn't always for the best.
Nurseries are hit and miss, I've worked in them and I'd only send my children to council ran ones, which may not be helpful to you, but I'd consider a child minder before a nursery.
Also, look for older staff, not all ran with one experienced staff member and apprentice staff.

It may be that there's a looked after child in the same nursery class, in which case the nursery are absolutely not allowed to show footage or photos under any circumstances. If she wasn't showing distress at pick up, and they went out of their way to tell you and investigate then I think YABU.

I don’t think you’re the kind of person for whom a nursery is ever going to work, OP. Between insisting that you being a mum overrides legal protections and thinking accidents are unacceptable, I think the only thing good enough for you will be your own care.

I feel for the nursery, honestly.

I know lots of people who have stepped on dog s**t, I am sure they try to avoid that just as much as they try to avoid a babies hand.

RE CCTV, most CCTV I've seen is pretty poor, you can make out who people are and you can see they are doing something but you generally can't make out details. You certainly wouldn't be able to see if someone stood on a babies hand or just missed it - it would only be from a reaction you would 'know' and even that can be misleading.