AIBU nursery worker stepped on my baby's hand

[2babies93]

DD is 12 months. She's been at nursery for a few months as I'm back at work. We've had a few problems there, mostly though, the manager's attitude sucks. We decided to look for, and have found, somewhere else, but they don't have space for 6 months. (This is because of other unrelated issues which are not relevant to this incident).

Last week I got a call from the nursery; "A carer was walking past DD and then she started crying. On review of CCTV we can't see what happened, but they may have stepped on her hand." Her hand was red and sore after, but not swollen. She was fine that evening when I picked her up.

They won't let me see the CCTV - is that normal?

I understand that kids have accidents. She's banged her head, fallen over, been bitten etc. and these incidents don't really bother me (much) because I know they will happen. Kids don't know how to play nicely and with staff ratios, they won't be able to prevent everything. I've never complained about an injury/incident before this - and I've not yet formally or otherise complained about this, but I think I might (help!).

I'm uncmofortable with the fact that the carer "may have" stepped on her. Surely you'd know? If it's just an accident, why not just admit it? Also, I feel like this type of accident isn't acceptable. This is not DD v another child, it's DD v an adult. An adult who's working in a nursery and should be careful where they are stepping, right?

I need some outside influence. My main concerns are:

1. The use of "may have", it feels like a cover up?
2. I can't see the CCTV. My older DD was at a different nursery (moved house) and we could see the CCTV of any incidents if requested.
3. The fact that she was hurt by an adult. I don't feel like stepping on a child is acceptable, even if accidentally.

AIBU to insist on seeing the CCTV? WIBU to I take her out early because of this incident? I don't know what we'd do for childcare, but I feel so uncomfortable leaving her there. I'm really upset...

Thank you, please be nice even if I'm being unreasonable. I'm here for help/to get perspective.

So you have never accidentally stepped on anything in your life ?!!
I have definitely stepped on/ tripped over my own babies,dogs, shopping bags etc etc …it’s called life! In fact I stepped on granddaughters hand a few days ago !

They have been reported to Ofstead at least 5 times that I know of by other parents in the last month. They opened recently, so they haven't had an inspection yet.

I really don't want to send her back there again, I feel sick. I can't afford to not work and I can't find anywhere with an opening. The nursery looked really nice when we viewed it. Over half the babies in the baby room have left because of other issues. Having to work and being a mum is so hard...

What happened to things just being an accident?
What reaction on cctv are you hoping to gain if there is no clear evidence your child was even stepped on? Dramatics?
It's clear the relationship between you and the nursery has broken down and I would remove her. You will still have to pay though. Contract and all.

You won't be told but there will be children there who for various reasons who can't have their images shared with anyone.

Also the nursery worker themselves has a right to refuse to allow you to see their image as you aren't the police or any other authority.

I don't know the rules on CCTV but Jesus Christ.

Even wearing thick-soled Doc Martens I'd know damn well if I'd just stepped on something as thick as a baby's hand and would immediately stop to see what I'd stepped on.

And like any normal non-psychopathic human being, I'd see the baby and the hand, be shocked and upset that I'd accidentally hurt them, say "Oh sweetie, your poor hand, I'm so sorry, let's take you to the first aider and check that I haven't hurt you" or whatever, and the parent would of course be notified. I'd hope desperately that the baby wasn't badly injured and that the parent wouldn't be furious at me, but I wouldn't just pretend to lack all knowledge of the whole thing.

CCTV or not, you don't step on a baby's hand and not notice, so either there are hand-crushing hazards the nursery doesn't know about, which would be bad, or they have a worker who steps on babies' hands and doesn't admit to it, which would be bad.

I think if it was an attempt to cover up something sinister then they would never have told you anything at all! I doubt it was anything other than an accident and I would be pleased they were honest and told me. Not ideal but very much one or those things. Have said that, I think if you really don't trust them I would remove your DC and go elsewhere.

The nursery looked really nice when we viewed it.

Of course it will look nice. It was new and shiny.

Unfortunately you have the learnt the hard way with your child's welfare and education completely new and untested is not the way to go.

Surely they can blur the other children's faces

Can't be that many near your daughter in those few minutes

I would want to see cctv

Jesus Christ, this response would only be reasonable if the child had been seriously hurt.

Well only if they have the technology to do that or the knowledge.

They cannot share CCTV with you.

Where I work we have CCTV covering the outside of the building. Someone had a bike stolen from nearby and they requested our CCTV as they didn't think the police were doing enough. I had to refuse due to GDPR and had to wait for the police to get in touch and request the footage. Police were very firm that I was not to let anyone have the footage other than them.

How do you know why others have left? Why have they left?

what are the issues with the childcare setting you’ve come across till now?

I think the fact they told you what had happened and that your child was fine on pick up shows just how it was just an accident. The “may” have stepped on the fingers wasn’t an attempt to escape responsibility rather that they can’t be 100% what happened, most probably
from the visibility/clarity of the cctv.

Either it was an accident and you accept that. (Even if you think you’d got a right to view cctv you all it’s going to do is verify the info they’ve already given you) or you don’t and you remove your child from their care.

my son had all manners of bumps and accidents during his childcare years, it’s par for the course - even accidents involving the childcare providers. If you’re not accepting that this is a possibility then you need to reassess your childcare plan.

Just to update, thanks for the Ofstead comment. I just did another Ofstead search:
They've had 2 emergency inspections, with the report for both published yesterday. They've got another inspection booked for two week's time.

I don't know how we will manage financially, but we will be taking DD out. Her safety comes first.

And if they edit the footage at all then it’ll come back to bite them down the line if there’s any litigation relating to the incident.

How does the OP "know" the nursery has been reported to Ofsted at least five times in the past month? About what? And yet the nursery is new and hasn't had an inspection by Ofsted yet?

If complaints are serious then Ofsted can turn up unannounced to investigate. A parent complaining that the nursery have told her a member of staff may have stood on a child's hand causing some bruising/swelling but no serious injury - not a serious complaint. That's an accident.

Ask the manager what they are doing to prevent such accidents happening again. If you're still not happy with that, take it further.

Ofsted don't "book in" inspections with two weeks notice. Have they been told they have to do XYZ - actions to take, or welfare requirements that must be met, with a deadline? That will get monitored by Ofsted but they won't necessarily be out again in two weeks to check on things.

How on earth do you know they have another visit in 2 weeks time? That is not how ofsted works. Also why would ofsted do 2 emergency visits and publish the reports at the same time?

I can't imagine that a nursery worker would deliberately step on a baby's hand. Accidents happen. If you are generally unhappy with the nursery then you need to find a different one.

Nonsense.

A more effective cover up would be giving your completely uninjured child back and saying nothing.

You are right, it's a dealine for actions to be taken. I misunderstood that as a further inspection.

This.

What will seeing the CCTV do for you? It won’t change the situation and it likely won’t prevent another accident occurring.

It sounds as though you'd rather your child was cared for at a nursery that wilfully and/or carelessly broke the law (GDPR) and ignored safeguarding procedures and policies?

"Who stands on a baby ffs."

Lots of parents. Accidents happen.