AIBU to tell my boyfriend to stop using my car?

[Ozzielass]

I have just moved in with my long term boyfriend

he drives a van for his work and I have my own car

everytime he runs an errand after finishing work, he just assumes he can take my car

I understand that his van probably costs more to run, as it’s bigger … but my car is my pride and joy and he doesn’t ask - he just takes the keys and before I notice, I see my car has gone.

am I being unreasonable to ask him to stop using my car as his ‘run around’ car ?

not only this, but he moved the mirrors, the seats and wears his work boots which leaves my car dirty

He's a right prize isn't he? Any reason why you don't just tell him?

Dh would never dream of using my car... Unless pre arranged. Your bf is a cf...

Keep your keys somewhere safe so that he has to ask for them and you can say no.

I would tell him he needs to keep it clean. But to be honest if I were serious about somebody to live with them, then I would be serious enough to let him drive my car.

Hide the keys and move out again as soon as you can. This is about so much more than him 'borrowing' your car.

I think being serious about moving in and progressing your relationship and getting annoyed about them using your car (aka YOUR belongings without asking) is a bit different no ?

Is he insured to use your car?

If you don't want him using it and you've only just moved in have you even added him as a driver to your insurance?

I haven’t found the words! I was hoping someone might be able to find a polite way of saying

‘stop using my fucking car!’

I don't understand why you can't talk to him about it?

DP wouldn't ever take my car without asking.

Just say to him "please can you ask before you use my car, and if I do agree to you using it please make sure you leave it in the state you found it in."

He is insured yes, this was done to bring my insurance down but I realise now he sees that as consent to use my car for his runaround whenever he feels like it!

I don’t mind sharing the driving for a big trip or if I am in the car too, but it’s the little drives here and there that he just assumes he can use my car for

Is he insured? Just hide your keys or say actually you left my car in a state, use your van when you’re grubby, you cheeky sod.

If you can't tell him when he's pissing you off why have you moved in with him. Just be honest?

Move out. He doesn't respect you.

Stop using my fucking car, darling!

😅😅

I think part of the process of living together and forming a relationship is that you DO share each other’s belongings. Obviously if you are working together as a couple then it would make no sense if he is spending extra money running around in a van. He definitely needs to be on the insurance for it which he should pay for. And he needs to take the dirty work clothes off. He should also be doing something to help you out in return or putting some money in to cover fuel and wear on your car if he is using it daily.

Are you insured to drive his van?

Ask to drive his van.

If you can't even talk to him about this relatively minor issue, how are you going to talk to him about really important stuff?

i know you think you are being petty so can’t say anything so what about saying you can’t drive the van and don’t want to be without your car on an as when basis (you are not being petty)

Those are the words though, if he hasn't ever even asked! The exact words.

@Bunnyhascovidnoteggs, can I ask why?
Our cars are interchangeable. We both have our own car, pay for the separately but I don't care if my DH uses mine or vice versa.

THIS!