DS 19 doesn’t really do anything

[Silverfishing]

I’ll start by saying DS is a lovely lad. He has a pt job in a pub which is one shift a week and he’s just handed his notice in, so will be unemployed from next week. I take £50 a month off him. I have 3 other DC and am currently getting UC so money is tight.
problem is, he stays up until all hours on his Xbox, then stays in bed until the afternoon. Rinse repeat. I have 3 other DC to look after, but I’d never expect him to help there. But general house stuff would be nice. He does the dishes maybe once a week and will take out the recycling if I ask him. But that’s it.
AIBU to expect more input from him? It really grates that he stays in bed all bloody day!!

He should of course be a fully functioning adult, doing chores unprompted, buying and planning and cooking meals, laundering his own clothing etc. just as you do. If not, why? Why is he not in full time employment?

Surely he's been raised to be a productive, functional member of the house, and society? So we'd need to know the reason why he is not, and why it's being allowed?

Changing the password is usually the easier option, but this!

It really doesn't help on these sorts of threads when ops, who are already struggling, are bombarded with accusatory questions like this one, when all they want is some solidarity and advice, but instead are made to feel even more shit than they did before posting.

The point about teenagers is that even though you have taught them all the household chores, and they are made to contribute on a regular basis, and have done so throughout their childhood, they sometimes do not comply.

And incidentally, the op is allowed to love her son and describe him as "lovely" if she wants to, because guess what, even though, like many teens or YAs, he is being a pita ATM, that is not the only aspect of his character.

OP barely gave any information, so replies are limited. We weren’t told why he does nothing, why he’s not full time employed. Is it ‘accusatory’ to wonder why a NT (presumably?) man doesn’t do basic tasks? 😐