If you didn’t go to a private school, what do you think about those who did?

[hanginds]

Do you feel they had an unfair advantage? Do you care? Do you think they don’t know about the real world?

I really struggle to connect with colleagues who were privately educated as they seem almost entitled to the job. They seem fearless about finding alternative work if needs be, yet I just don’t have that confidence. I assume it’s their background as it’s the only difference between us in the academic/work context.

Hawkins, well I think you're missing the point some what, plenty of unpolished diamonds languish in the state school system

I mean people who donate to the Tory party.

I think they are trying. Trouble is, those pesky private school kids keep being intelligent.

When you compare Oxford intake with how many DC from each sector get the highest grades, private school students are still disproportionately represented. There are still brighter state school students losing out to less bright private school students. (Using A level achievement as a measure, which is what Oxford do.)

There’s also a state healthcare system. I don’t hear many people campaigning for VAT to be introduced on private healthcare. It always surprises me how some people complain about the unfairness of private education but are perfectly happy to use the private healthcare system.

Arguably, the NHS is in a worse state than the state education sector and could use the money raised from VAT on the private health system.

Wow what a load of inverted snobs.
I've a mix of private public state grammar educated with wildly different careers. Many of my state school friends are far more driven and ambitious.. my sister went to private school it only made her more likely to spend money rather than save.

Well it sure would shatter the illusion that they are “charitable” and provide “scholarships” to “help society” wouldn’t it?

I am not necessarily referring to the prestigious private schools either - I specifically referenced the local state school vs the local private school.

yes, state schools. Go sort yourselves out! it’s all your own fault, the Tory government slashing investment, cutting budgets, pushing teachers to the brink, underfunding, ALL of it

By all means increase funding and make improvements for state schools but how will abolishing private education help with that?

Then assuming it's possible they should be encouraged to go for Oxbridge or a Russel group red brink uni ect

With stories like this it's hardly shocking that parents who can afford it go private..!

I use private healthcare too and I’ve never had the judgement about that that I get about using private schools! You’d think people would be equally as annoyed about us ‘buying’ better health, but it doesn’t seem to be the case.

I am a bit non-plussed by the idea that it’s immoral to pay for your child’s education if you can afford it? Is it also immoral to pay for music lessons or horse-riding lessons to enrich their lives (and arguably paying for horse-riding lessons is more likely to get your kids in with the posh landed-gentry types!)? Where is the line for what we’re allowed to pay for in order to give our kids the best chance we can? Can we buy a more expensive house in an affluent area with the best state schools?!

As it happens, I do send my children to private school. I can only afford it because I work at the school, and it’s still a real struggle. But I don’t do it to buy them an advantage over their peers in the future; I do it so that they’ll enjoy the now. The state schools here are not good. It’s pointless to pretend state-run education isn’t in crisis, and why would I put my kids through that if I have an alternative?

There are at lot of people desperate to
claim sending children to private school doesn’t make them ‘ privileged’ but by definition - as only 6% of kids do attend private school -they are.

And are perceived as such.

not sure why that’s so surprising? And as for the whataboutery on other advantages that make kids more privileged than others, of course there are other things that count too.

But OP was asking about private school specifically.

All parents with the means to pay for advantages for their children in some way, whether that’s extra curricular activities, cultural enrichment, expensive technology for studying, tutoring if their children are struggling. @StarmanBobby apparently earns approx £360k a year; she’s kidding herself if she thinks that doesn’t buy her children an advantage over others.
You only have to look on the Staffroom board on here to see what a state our secondary education in particular is in. I would absolutely welcome increased investment into it, even if that means I pay more for my children’s private school fees. But I am absolutely not putting them into our failing, awful secondary school when I have an alternative. I don’t care about it as an ‘investment’, I just don’t want them to spend 30 hours a week in an environment where violence, sexual assault and bullying is rife. I want them to enjoy their school days, not have to battle through them.

And fewer than 1% have a household income like yours. Your children are also extremely privileged.

and at no point did I say kids with parents who have higher incomes weren’t more privileged than others…

Doesn't change the fact that most kids who go to private school are seen as, and are, privileged. Which was the point of the whole thread.

And I’ve never said my children aren’t privileged. Of course they are, for many reasons, and I’m glad I’ve been able to provide them with those privileges.
I just think it’s a bit rich to be disparaging other peoples children for the privileges they have, without acknowledging that your children are also more privileged than the vast majority of the population. And that you will also be buying your children an advantage over others.

My perceptions around people who were privately educated are formed by my experience working with lots of people who were educated privately on day schools or boarding schools.
And with working with schools now.
There are many reasons I would send my kids to private school- but not having them turn out the way many people I worked with who did is definitely a big part of that.

I use private healthcare too and I’ve never had the judgement about that that I get about using private schools!

Private healthcare tends to provide the same thing as the NHS, only sooner and in nicer surroundings. It doesn't convey the same unfair advantages in terms of access to top careers, salaries and power, so doesn't contribute to inequality in the same way as private education does.

Your kids are arguably more privileged that mine, despite mine being at private schools. Your household income is many multiples of mine.

@DanceMonster exactly. We pay for private for the NOW, not what it may bring in the future. So that our DD is free to learn with as few distractions as possible and have a wide range of interests catered for.
Those of you who want a truly level playing field, this means total eradication of child poverty, all children on FSM, parity of the wage earning of all parents and making all parents access extra curricular activities with their kids. It means scrapping grammar schools and banning private tutors. It means massive investment in every state school and buying back the playing fields that were sold off to house builders. It means paying teachers a proper salary commensurate with the hours worked and reducing class sizes plus having full time TA in all classes.

It isn't possible and it isn't going to happen. Wealthier parents are always going to find ways of pushing their kids ahead no matter what. That's what money does, it buys advantages in life and sorry but there is simply no way around this. For the parents who have chosen the private route all we can do is make sure our DC are aware of, and grateful for their privilege, and don't turn into arrogant, self-entitled brats (a description I don't acknowledge from my experience of DDs school + friends in any case).

Of course private health care conveys unfair advantages. Get diagnosed with cancer quicker, start treatment quick and survive vs getting put on waiting lists for months at which point the cancellation has spread too far and your are terminal.
Operations that cure your pain vs spending years on a waiting list in pain.

The ‘sooner’ thing is key though isn’t it? Early diagnosis and treatment is absolutely vital for good health outcomes. So I’m literally paying for a better chance at life. Arguably more important than career prospects.

Arguing that the unfair advantages provided by private education are A-OK because some people are richer than others is so dumb. The issue is not that it's unfair that private school students are having a nicer time at school, it's that they are disproportionately represented at top universities, in top careers and positions of power. Access to these should not be for sale - it's better for everyone if the most talented people succeed, rather than the richest.

Arguing it's ok because true equality is impossible is also dumb imo.

And re private healthcare - until the last few years the NHS was generally pretty good at the life-threatening stuff. Private healthcare was largely about convenience. (I accept that this isn't true of the NHS now but hope it can be rescued.)

@SoTedious I'm not arguing that it is OK, I'm saying that is how the whole world works and that to truly level up would take such a commitment and financial investment that no government wil do it.
Of course access should be based on merit but it isn't and abolishing private schools wouldn't solve the issue.
Everything is for sale, that's what a capitalist society is built on.
So what everyone should be focused on is holding the government to account for the disparity and lack of investment in state education. The state education system is a complete shambles but abolishing private schools won't solve that.

I work in banking where I would guess more than half of my peers are privately educated. I went to quite a rough (but well managed) state school. I was extremely lucky that my parents really encouraged and supported my education (compared to a lot of my peers at school).

For me the obvious difference is confidence and lack of self doubt. In business I think that confidence often (but not always) masks a lack of genuine ability - people take them seriously because of the confidence and the accent and their general self assured nature.

Do they have an advantage? Often yes, as they will have connections and in business (especially finance) connections still matter.

Sometimes there seems to be a sort of lack of awareness of real life - in that I suppose during their most formative years most have only been around and socialised with other relatively privileged people.

I think a benefit of a state education is that you are typically exposed to a much more diverse group of people at an earlier age and this can make you more 'street wise' and perceptive. A better ability to read the room.

I don't think it 'negatively' affects someones personality - I think nice people are nice people regardless of their schooling (and vice versa).