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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you didn’t go to a private school, what do you think about those who did?

1000 replies

hanginds · 21/03/2023 20:56

Do you feel they had an unfair advantage? Do you care? Do you think they don’t know about the real world?

I really struggle to connect with colleagues who were privately educated as they seem almost entitled to the job. They seem fearless about finding alternative work if needs be, yet I just don’t have that confidence. I assume it’s their background as it’s the only difference between us in the academic/work context.

OP posts:
Kefir · 23/03/2023 14:45

StarmanBobby · 23/03/2023 14:39

I’m not sure the argument that taking away charitable status will mean private schools will become more even more elitist will really matter to the 96% of people who don’t use them.

they aren’t charities, they’re businesses that cater ( mostly) to some of the most wealthy people in the U.K.

No, but once they no longer have to demonstrate charitable status then that could mean no more working with local schools to share facilities, or many bursaries for that matter. I really don't think it's the clever idea that Labour think it is - it's their Brexit - popular with people who feel chippy about certain sectors of the population and almost certainly with lots of unintended negative side effects.

Another76543 · 23/03/2023 14:46

StarmanBobby · 23/03/2023 12:49

The sooner the charitable tax status is taken away from private schools the better. It’s ridiculous that these businesses have charity status.

Lots of private schools don’t have charitable status.

DanceMonster · 23/03/2023 14:46

(Equally, I would also be happy for my taxes to be raised to help better fund things like the NHS and social care, again because I’m not a cunt).

Kefir · 23/03/2023 14:46

they aren’t charities, they’re businesses that cater ( mostly) to some of the most wealthy people in the U.K

Like you then @StarmanBobby

TheHoover · 23/03/2023 14:51

I have more faith in what might happen when labour come in. I worked in education when the last labour government implemented their ‘education, education, education’ policy. The impact was PHENOMENAL. It was also a master class in industrial relations ie the TUs were heavily involved in crafting the strategy.

I’m not really gunning for anyone unless you would deliberately vote Tory just to avoid this policy coming in so your kids can stay in private education

DanceMonster · 23/03/2023 14:53

TheHoover · 23/03/2023 14:51

I have more faith in what might happen when labour come in. I worked in education when the last labour government implemented their ‘education, education, education’ policy. The impact was PHENOMENAL. It was also a master class in industrial relations ie the TUs were heavily involved in crafting the strategy.

I’m not really gunning for anyone unless you would deliberately vote Tory just to avoid this policy coming in so your kids can stay in private education

As I’ve said I support the broadly support the policy, I’d say that’s unlikely, isn’t it?

Southwestten · 23/03/2023 14:55

Another76543 · Today 14:46StarmanBobby · Today 12:49
The sooner the charitable tax status is taken away from private schools the better. It’s ridiculous that these businesses have charity status.

Lots of private schools don’t have charitable status

StarmanBobby I’m surprised you don’t know that lots of private schools don’t have charitable status - considering you work in education, or claim to.

faffadoodledo · 23/03/2023 15:07

@TheHoover I agree - particularly in London. I think however the improvements didn't reach out into the provinces. Our corner of Cornwall certainly didn't see the improvements friends in London saw. But yes, it's good to know improvement is possible with the will and right investment

TheHoover · 23/03/2023 15:13

That’s a shame to hear. However I think PPA time and teaching assistants were universal

TheHoover · 23/03/2023 15:13

Building new schools was very London centric though

CurlewKate · 23/03/2023 15:23

twistyizzy · 23/03/2023 12:51

@CurlewKate so if you don't know who does and dies not send their kids to private schools how do you decide whether to interact with them?
How about if you made a good friend and a few months down the line it cane out that she sent her kids to private school, would you then drop her or would you overlook your morals and principles? Your positioning is absurd to be honest and you come across as incredibly judgey.
I appreciate an ideological stance against private schools but surely you understand that the worst thing is to surround yourself with people who agree with you about everything? It is our differences of opinions which make us individuals and adds curiosity into our lives, to try to understand someone from a different viewpoint to yourself. Just surrounding yourself with people who you agree with you just reinforces your own conscious and unconscious bias and stops you from growing as a person.

But hey maybe that's just something I've learned from what has been taught at DD's private school 🤷‍♀️

You haven't read my post. But hey, why let that stand in the way of expression your opinions about me! 😂

twistyizzy · 23/03/2023 15:24

@CurlewKate er yes I have hence the reply

CurlewKate · 23/03/2023 15:45

twistyizzy · 23/03/2023 15:24

@CurlewKate er yes I have hence the reply

Then I must have expressed myself badly. While I would like people I love to share my philosophy of life, I know they don't. So obviously, I have some friends and family who believe in capital punishment, hunting with dogs....and private education. When it comes to casual acquaintances, I probably wouldn't pursue a deeper relationship once I discovered they held those views. Is that any clearer?

StarmanBobby · 23/03/2023 15:59

‘Kefir · Today 14:46they aren’t charities, they’re businesses that cater ( mostly) to some of the most wealthy people in the U.K

Like you then @StarmanBobby

what??? That makes no sense. I don’t work for a charity, I for a global company,
not a charity. We provide services to, among other clients, schools. Mainly state schools as they far outnumber private schools in number and spending for resources.

StarmanBobby · 23/03/2023 16:02

‘No, but once they no longer have to demonstrate charitable status then that could mean no more working with local schools to share facilities, or many bursaries for that matter.’

oh piss off do they! Sorry, but they just don’t. Although you can PAY to hire some of the facilities at private schools - halls, 4G, even their pools - which is a good source of income for the school it’s not free.
But then many of the state schools also hire out their facilities on weekends, evenings to generate income for the school or upkeep the pitches.

twistyizzy · 23/03/2023 16:02

@CurlewKate that is a greatly softened version of what your original comment said.

CurlewKate · 23/03/2023 16:06

twistyizzy · 23/03/2023 16:02

@CurlewKate that is a greatly softened version of what your original comment said.

I don't think it is. It just has more words.

Kefir · 23/03/2023 16:18

StarmanBobby · 23/03/2023 15:59

‘Kefir · Today 14:46they aren’t charities, they’re businesses that cater ( mostly) to some of the most wealthy people in the U.K

Like you then @StarmanBobby

what??? That makes no sense. I don’t work for a charity, I for a global company,
not a charity. We provide services to, among other clients, schools. Mainly state schools as they far outnumber private schools in number and spending for resources.

I meant that you are one of the wealthiest people in the UK. Top 1%, remember?

Kefir · 23/03/2023 16:20

StarmanBobby · 23/03/2023 16:02

‘No, but once they no longer have to demonstrate charitable status then that could mean no more working with local schools to share facilities, or many bursaries for that matter.’

oh piss off do they! Sorry, but they just don’t. Although you can PAY to hire some of the facilities at private schools - halls, 4G, even their pools - which is a good source of income for the school it’s not free.
But then many of the state schools also hire out their facilities on weekends, evenings to generate income for the school or upkeep the pitches.

🤣

My dds school does exactly this. They allow the local state to use their pool and pitches. You are sounding more clueless with every post.

DanceMonster · 23/03/2023 16:22

StarmanBobby · 23/03/2023 16:02

‘No, but once they no longer have to demonstrate charitable status then that could mean no more working with local schools to share facilities, or many bursaries for that matter.’

oh piss off do they! Sorry, but they just don’t. Although you can PAY to hire some of the facilities at private schools - halls, 4G, even their pools - which is a good source of income for the school it’s not free.
But then many of the state schools also hire out their facilities on weekends, evenings to generate income for the school or upkeep the pitches.

They absolutely do. This is a part of them having charitable status; they have to provide support to the community. As a close family member is an accountant at an independent school, I am sure of this.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 23/03/2023 16:46

DanceMonster · 23/03/2023 16:22

They absolutely do. This is a part of them having charitable status; they have to provide support to the community. As a close family member is an accountant at an independent school, I am sure of this.

Our local selective private schools provide "support" to the local community by offering free "masterclasses" to children at the local state primary schools who have been identified as "gifted and talented" or whatever the current terminology is these days - higher learning potential?

They shamelessly use these sessions as marketing opportunities to do the hard sell to parents

DanceMonster · 23/03/2023 16:46

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 23/03/2023 16:46

Our local selective private schools provide "support" to the local community by offering free "masterclasses" to children at the local state primary schools who have been identified as "gifted and talented" or whatever the current terminology is these days - higher learning potential?

They shamelessly use these sessions as marketing opportunities to do the hard sell to parents

Well as we know, not all independent schools are created equally.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 23/03/2023 16:47

Oops, posted too soon, but you got the gist.

Schools can quite cleverly package up their marketing activity so that it doubles up to meet the requirement to give something back to the local community. So I am a little sceptical about this tbh.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 23/03/2023 16:49

DanceMonster · 23/03/2023 16:46

Well as we know, not all independent schools are created equally.

No, of course, and to be fair, I have known some private schools that genuinely make a contribution. Let's just not kid ourselves into thinking that they have to do this, as they can very easily find ways around it if they choose to do so.

CurlewKate · 23/03/2023 17:12

Some private schools do indeed fulfil their obligations for charitable status admirably. Many don't, but spin it in such a way that they appear to do so.

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