If you didn’t go to a private school, what do you think about those who did?

[hanginds]

Do you feel they had an unfair advantage? Do you care? Do you think they don’t know about the real world?

I really struggle to connect with colleagues who were privately educated as they seem almost entitled to the job. They seem fearless about finding alternative work if needs be, yet I just don’t have that confidence. I assume it’s their background as it’s the only difference between us in the academic/work context.

You mean they were supported in their education in an environment that allowed them to reach their full potential? And that’s a bad thing?

Is failing in a state school supposed to be a better outcome? Or even a selling point for state education?

StarmanBobby · Today 14:39Honestly don't understand why parents who decide to buy the privilege of private school are so upset that other people don't agree with their choices or have a perception about the kind of people who come from private schools.

Maybe because you have said some very unpleasant things about anyone privately educated. Would you prefer that no one challenged your opinions? I guess you probably would.
However, I’ve got a couple of questions for you;
Which country do you come from where no one uses private schools?

Why on earth do you interview anyone privately educated since you appear to have a grudge against them?
Is it that you like the idea of wasting their time like the poster up thread who thought it ‘hilarious’ to apply for a private school just so they could say no?
Or do you like the opportunity to get a few digs in during the interview about how you despise posh people?

Whumpthereitis

Is failing in a state school supposed to be a better outcome? Or even a selling point for state education?

Yes, I think some posters think it is. Do you remember the thread in which many posters banged on about ‘resilience’, as if suffering at school was somehow positive.
I think what they probably meant was that they enjoyed the prospect of well off children being given a hard time for being ‘posh’.

I can see why people who have benefitted from the private education system feel under attack.

Of course it doesn’t mean they don’t deserve any reward for their hard work (and private school do work kids harder). I can understand how insulting it is when people say that your hard work isn’t as ‘valid’ as state education.

But you have to accept it gives you a head start whatever field of work you are in. Better grades = better uni = better choices of career.

that’s why I’m considering private for my kids. I think it produces well rounded kids who have a great education and access to a wide variety of hobbies and experiences.

You feel the same about private medical insurance then??

The reality is that lots of schools aren't good and we will never have a scenario when all schools are great, because a lot of it is linked to how motivated parents are and how much they value education. That's the biggest difference between grammar school, private school cohorts & state schools in attractive catchment areas v. others.

So many comments here are ridiculous when MANY clever kids at bad state schools are called swots and bullied for being clever. It isn't seen as a positive thing or something to be prized like at many private schools.

Why don't state schools focus on trying to replicate what is positive about private schools & forming partnerships to share facilities instead of the drivel on this thread

It’s an interesting thing, the concept of suffering being a good thing. It’s almost a religious concept. I am not sure resilience gained by suffering is something to aim for. It’s like when people talk about a difficult childhood and say, ‘I was very mature as I had to grow up at a young age’. That’s something to be sad about, not celebrate.

I do, all “I want my child to build resilience by fighting to get an education! An education isn’t worth anything unless they’ve gone through the educational hunger games in order to achieve it!”.

As if it’s unreasonable that parents wouldn’t actively want their child not to struggle in order to get a basic education. However, it then switches from ‘private schools coddle children’ to ‘all schools should provide what private schools do, all children should have the right to the best education’. Apparently there’s no such thing as picking a narrative and sticking to it when it comes to these threads.

Of course it only works one way. That's the concept of punching up.

Dappledthings ah yes, punching up. Presumably you mean by that you can be as unpleasant, rude and - in the case of your private school application, childish - as you like, but anyone richer? privately educated? - I don’t what what the criteria are - isn’t allowed to answer back.
Sounds both unreasonable and cowardly.

Yes! I’ve thought this a lot, this holding aloft of suffering and abnegation as if it’s somehow desirable, that something is only worthwhile if you’ve suffered to achieve it.

it is certainly a religious concept, and purely anecdotally, I’ve always noticed it being more apparent in culturally Protestant countries and communities.

I think some of this thread is pretty mean! When you r a kid it's not your choice, on the whole, what school you go to. There are loads of different people from all walks of life that have been to private school. Some really poor kids with horrendous upbringings have gone to private school (I know because I'm one of them), and some very rich, privileged kids with wonderful caring families have gone to state school, and then there's a whole heap of people on either side and in the middle

Why would you judge someone on the school they went to?

Surely people's values and personality are the things that matter. If someone's an uncaring, heartless, snob I'd not want to hang out with them regardless of what school they went to. If someone is kind, thoughtful, and I like them then I will hang out with them regardless of their educational background.

Let's give people a break!

I don’t think a good state school is comparable with private though. There will still be a mixed intake / less sport / you are not a customer to be sucked up to etc. it’s not the same experience as far as I can tell.

I find the ‘spoon feeding’ comments interesting too. What does this entail? Genuine question as I went to state school myself, but doesn’t it just mean that they get taught the curriculum in an effective way? Students still have to apply the information to the exam questions, just like state school pupils. Does it mean the teaching is better? The classrooms calmer? Fewer pupils so individual students get more attention? If so, I can’t see why this apparent ‘spoon feeding’ is a bad thing. Unless it involves something else?

I doubt anyone feels under attack.

I feel sorry for anyone who is state educated with such a chip on their shoulder as many of the posters here.

I really don't spend much time thinking about which school anyone went to!

Lots of private schools have mixed intakes in terms of ability though.

Lots of smaller private schools don't have fantastic sporting facilities.

So many generalisations on this ridiculous thread

They are not mixed though due to the cost barrier. At my dds comp there are the children of solicitors / doctors/ cleaners / unemployed you just wouldn’t get that at private.

Well good for them I guess but please acknowledge your advantage as an adult and no " faux poverty" please. Some people live hand to mouth and have NO savings to break into despite talent and hard work. I am aware than some posters will have done well coming from a state school and some private school kids will dive bomb. They vary but if you can't give your kids " cultural capital" as well as going to a state school then very, very hard to get a finger tip on opportunities... well done to all those who have though!

This is not true of a lot of private schools. My single mum had no money at all, we lived with threat of baliffs and I worked from age 12 to contribute to the family income. I went to private school on a full fees bursary. Granted a lot of my friends were rich, but a few were also on bursaries, quite a few had parents on low incomes who paid the full fees, but they lived in v small properties and scrimped and saved to send their kids private. There was huge ethnic diversity in my school. Most of my friends were second generation Indian, Korean, Chinese, Vietnamese, Irish ...

I think when people think of private schools they automatically assume Eton. But a lot of private schools are (or certainly used to be, maybe less so now) much more diverse in make up than the stereotype.

If someone is genuinely living hand to mouth, they will be eligible for a full fees bursary at most private schools.

Thats great if private schools are taking a large proportion of very low income children and forgoing their fees I stand corrected.. Anecdotally however I have never seen this happen - the private schools round here certainly don’t do that!

Have you asked them?

I went to both a state comp and a private day school. There was no spoon feeding. There was no disruption in class which meant that teachers were able to cover topics quicker and spend more time on revision. There was a longer day. More homework was set and a much higher expectation to complete it.
I dont think there was a a hugely substantial benefit academically. The reason benefit for me was being in an environment which I felt safe in.

‘Spoon-feeding’ seems to mean: an environment conducive to learning.

I would be most surprised! The families we know that go private are mentally wealthy.

That’s what I suspected.

I imagine the ones on bursaries aren’t announcing it on the streets on sandwich boards.