Husband's reaction to finally getting a positive pregnancy test

[Anonhopingforbaby]

My (26) DH (27) and I have been trying to have a baby for the last 2 years. I finally got a positive test today and I'm absolutely over the moon, I know we have a long way to go until everything is safe but at least I can get pregnant, that's my thoughts on it.

DH has accused me of lying on Friday night (when I got a BFN and thought my period had started), to get some comfort out of him before I told him today it was positive. He thinks I lied to get a social media video of his reaction.

I couldn't care less about social media, I'm just happy I got pregnant. AIBU to be upset by his reaction, or am I being sensitive after building up this moment in my head?

Were you filming him at the time?

Did you film him?!

He thinks I lied to get a social media video of his reaction. Huh? Did you video his reaction?
If not, why would he say that?

This is weird......did you have a camera in his face when you told him? Are you big in posting your life all over social?

Nope, my phone was in my handbag on the side table, I don't think he understands that I actually thought I'd got my period (spotting on Friday night), and he thinks I lied to him about getting a negative test to get a better reaction out of him.

I've never once suggested posting any of this on social media and never even look at TTC stuff, so I really have no clue where it came from

What's a BFN ? Why would he think you are going to put it on social media? Good luck with the wedding

He’s probably just thoroughly confused and doesn’t know what to think.

you told him you weren’t pregnant, he had to deal with that disappointment and manage his emotions.

then you told him you were. I would expect disbelief and shock. It’ll take a while for him to process.

give him a chance to get his head round it.

I'm confused you said you got your positive Friday and then you said you got it today? So he's saying you lied about the result on Friday and then somehow miraculously got an ACTUAL positive today?

Either way, him thinking you capable of lying about something like this is NOT good.
Run. Honestly, he's not the man for you

Maybe I made a typo - got a BFN (big fat negative) on Friday and thought I'd got my period, which was just spotting, and then got a positive tonight after my period was a lot lighter than I'd expected it to be and a lot shorter.

Oh I misunderstood what BFN meant but still, he has accused you of lying about something this serious! Wow. Run....

Given your update his reaction was very very weird! He clearly doesn't understand how women's bodies work (that one day you can show negative on a test and then on a future date, even the day after, you can show positive)!!!

@Anonhopingforbaby in relationships abuse can start when you get pregnant.
Hopefully this won’t be the case but be watchful.
His reaction doesn’t seem normal to me.

Congrats on your pregnancy. Send your husband a link about 'false negative' results if you test too early, as there isn't enough of the pregnancy hormone for it to pick up. Sounds like he needs a bit of a lesson on it.

Btw that sounds like implantation spotting. Very normal about 1-2 weeks after conception.

He's a dick. LTB

Implantation bleeding. I had it and since I spot before my period I thought that was it and Auntie Flo was on her way. Not so, as I sit here waiting for the resulting baby, (now a 5 year old) to stop fidgeting and go to sleep!!

He needs to look up implementation bleeding, and apologise to you for being a stupid dick, and for spoiling the moment of you telling him you're pregnant because his dumb ass doesn't know how women's bodies work.

In fact here you go

https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/trying-for-a-baby/signs-and-symptoms-of-pregnancy/

Near the top, lighter period.

If he isn't falling over himself to apologise then please look after yourself. It's alright to be in a bit of disbelief after so long trying, but to come out with something accusatory like that is very strange.

*implantation bleeding even! 🙈

Congratulations! Sorry to hear his reaction marred what should be a really special memory for you both.

If I were you - and he’s usually a nice man - I’d briefly explain (not in a grovel-like way!) that it’s common for a positive to take a few days to show, hence women sometimes do far too many tests in the two-week window (I certainly did…), then the line gradually becomes more visible as HCG increases in the body and urine. And that there’s this thing called implantation bleeding. Hopefully, after a quick lesson in biology 🙄 he will realise he was a dick and respond accordingly.

FWIW, my husband is a caring man but he was shocked when I told him we were having our first, despite the fact we had been trying. He was reluctant to get really excited until our 12 week scan and he was overly worried about me doing too much. I remember he went for a little walk the evening after I told him as I think he needed time to digest the news that he was going to be a father. Not making excuses at all for your other half but maybe something similar is happening…

WTF? I’d be shocked if DH had reacted like that. His horrible for you.

The social media thing is very odd if you didn’t have your phone out and it hadn’t crossed your mind. What was he on about?

... Run? They're married and having a baby. Why on earth would she leave him because of this?! What a ridiculous overreaction.

This is so weird.

He accused you of lying so that you could film his excited reaction a few days later, and post it on social media, yes?

But you weren’t filming him on either occasion?

If the above is correct, he sounds a bit deranged…

Congratulations though!!

We've both calmed down and spoken.

My SIL told DH she saw me out today shopping in boots and filming myself buying a pregnancy test (the joys of living in a small town).

I wasn't, I was comparing the digital tests to the ones my best friend had told me to get, in case I was. We'd never got to this point of possibly having a positive test before, and we'd both agreed to keep it to cheap tests after six months of trying because it felt like a massive waste. This was nearly 18 months ago so I just wanted to double check what I was spending so much money on!

Gutted he reacted like that, but I'm glad we got it ironed out

I've never heard of implantation bleeding. You bled and had a negative result...now a few days later youre announcing you're pregnant. I'd imagine it's more confusing than anything and he thinks either you kept it to yourself earlier or its not actually true. Maybe it's lime you swearing blind you just saw a ghost, a kind of disbelief.
I'd guess by the fact that you used the abbreviation BFN you spend a lot of time posting on line discussing conceiving. In the absence of any other logical explanation (to him) he's filled in the gaps.
Leave it a few days and let it sink in. Don't let this spoil your wonderful news. Last thing at night, take a moment and quietly say "l can't believe it's happening....so this implantation bleeding is really a thing...I was really starting to wonder if it would ever happen for us...and here we are. We're having a baby"
You can turn it around. You are woman. You have the power!

Yanbu. Hopefully he was just a bit shocked and when you explain that it’s quite normal to get a negative then a positive, he will apologise. He really should, because calling you a liar is not on.

SIL sounds like a bit of a troublemaker.