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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Inappropriate contact from British Gas engineer?!!

426 replies

PandaEyed13 · 21/03/2023 11:31

Bit of a weird one!

Has anyone had a gas/electric engineer respond to a call out at their property - and then had the engineer call and text their personal mobile number weeks after the work?!

Had a problem with my gas meter at my house last month and British Gas sent multiple engineers on varying dates to try and fix the issue, 4 engineers in total on 4 separate dates over the past few weeks, the issue got fixed and resolved last week, job done, lovely stuff!

Over this past weekend though I had 2 missed calls from a mobile phone number I didn't recognise. I didn't answer because it's just my personal philosophy not to answer to unfamiliar numbers, I assumed they were cold calls and forgot about it.

Yesterday morning though, I got 2 more calls from this number. Then a text - "Hi there B, (not my real name) it's 'Dan' (not his real name) from British Gas, call me back..'

Erm...that's weird right?
So when I cast my mind back, 'Dan' was engineer number 2 from visit number 2 about 3 weeks ago!

I can remember him being very friendly, really helpful - to the point of being almost above and beyond. He didn't cross any boundaries on the day. He was a teeny tiny bit vibey, like the absolute smidgen of a flirt, but not in a way that made me uncomfortable, he was just treating me a bit 'damsel in distressy,' which I didnt think much of at the time, I just wanted the work done! He even offered to call my DH for me at his work and explain what work he was doing at the house so I didn't have to bother trying to suss out the jargon to relay back to him. I said no thanks, but me being married became known information!

Fast forward 3 weeks and he's called my personal mobile number from his 4 times and sent a text asking me to call him. This is weird, yes? Boundary crossing? Call-out engineers never do follow up calls right? None of the other 3 engineers who came to my house have contacted me! I called my mum right after and DH on his work break and both freaked out, like "what if he's a nutter, he knows where you live!" etc etc.

My mum advised to reply to his text saying "no thanks, I won't be calling as the work has been completed at our property now, but thanks for your help on the day" and then to block his number if he replies to that or calls again. So I sent that text this morning and no reply as of yet. DH wants his number to call him though and ask what the F he wants! I spoke to British Gas this morning and they said it's not commonplace for call-out engineers to make contact with residents of properties they have attended or to make follow up calls and do I want to start an investigation. I said I didn't know because I haven't heard anything else since I sent my "thanks but no thanks" message a few hours ago, so they said call back if I get anything else.

I don't want to get anyone in trouble if it's all innocent, or antagonise anyone if it's not!

And DH is chomping at the bit for me to pass his number on so he can ring him, which I'm also reluctant to do?

Ideas, opinions? Anyone else had the 'friendly engineer' hit them up? I tried to Google whether engineers do this and there's absolutely nothing, so I'm thinking - no, they don't! Even if he is just following up on the day, it's still inappropriate and boundary crossing right? How he got my mobile num, I don't even know, he's a call-out engineer not a call centre agent with account access!

Didn't know where else to post this so went with AIBU, although I don't think I am to be freaked out!

OP posts:
Autienotnautie · 23/03/2023 02:58

I would have personally phoned back and taken it from there. However it seems he was inappropriate and this has been raised with British Gas which was absolutely the right thing to do. Now if he harasses any customers there's a record of his previous actions.

Mothership4two · 23/03/2023 03:14

rayrayx · 22/03/2023 23:58

I dont get the drama?? Maybe he's was jusy checking all work ok, call him back and ask!

RTWT

Mothership4two · 23/03/2023 03:15

Or just OP's updates

Mothership4two · 23/03/2023 03:31

How much vetting do these workers get who go into peoples' homes?

There was a series on UK TV last year (I think) where they followed real life police investigations during the initial stages and then updated at the end. There was a case where an older lady with learning difficulties who lived alone accused a heating engineer (didn't say the company), who was in his 20's, of exposing himself to her in her home. At first he denied it, then said that she'd initiated it (there was DNA evidence) and, when it reached Court, he plead guilty. It has been a while so I may not remember with 100% accuracy but that is the gist of it.

Bellaboo01 · 23/03/2023 09:01

PandaEyed13 · 22/03/2023 09:49

I do appreciate all posts, even the cruel and scathing ones have value. This became a separate issue a few pages in that I can take a lot from and use in totally separate areas.

I'm a TA at a primary and we've been having problems with the YR6 girls. They're bullying and excluding each other, they've all got phones so they're whatsapping each other to kill themselves because boy A spoke to girl B for longer than he spoke to girl C that day, or because another girl wore eyeshadow for the first time at an after school disco so 'who does she think she is,' etc etc. They're making group chat campaigns of hate against each other, making spiteful memes about each other and it spills over into school, they're fighting at breaktime and calling each other names I can't repeat. It's been going on pretty much since school year started last Sept, at least once a fortnight there's a little girl sobbing in the office. They're 10 and 11 years old, it's devastating. Every month we're having assemblies with the girls and inviting their parents in to join, to talk about how unacceptable girl-on-girl venom is. We try to get them to see that their female peers should be their allies and to support each other and back each other, 'sisters in arms' sort of thing.

This thread and parts of it is valuable in being able to demonstrate how far woman to woman ridicule, scorn and mockery can go, even in potentially dangerous circumstances. I can definitely take from this in a lot of different ways.

I think this is getting a bit OTT now.

From what is a BG engineer calling you (which is inappropriate) has now escalated and you have informed us of being various different things - including - being sexually assaulted, about Children and girls in your school and how they are behaving to each other and comparing yourself and the comments you have received to them.

You ASKED a question to whether you were being unreasonable on a public forum. Many people thought that you were being a bit over dramatic.

I think going forward that maybe you shouldn't allow workmen in your house whilst you are alone as maybe this is a trigger for you.

Newnamefor2021 · 23/03/2023 09:05

Mothership4two · 23/03/2023 03:31

How much vetting do these workers get who go into peoples' homes?

There was a series on UK TV last year (I think) where they followed real life police investigations during the initial stages and then updated at the end. There was a case where an older lady with learning difficulties who lived alone accused a heating engineer (didn't say the company), who was in his 20's, of exposing himself to her in her home. At first he denied it, then said that she'd initiated it (there was DNA evidence) and, when it reached Court, he plead guilty. It has been a while so I may not remember with 100% accuracy but that is the gist of it.

I don't think much in the way of any vetting.

My husband has been with them for about 20 years, can't remember if he every originally had a CRB, I don't think he did. He's certainly never had one since which I always find odd.

They go into a lot of very vulnerable peoples homes. They also pull a lot of contractors in who are also not vetted in that way.

I think they only think they really worry about it too many points on license but again if you know the right people then that doesn't matter either.

They fired their staff in 2021 under fire and rehire and then a further 1/3 left so now they are desperately pulling anyone who is willing to work for them in.

Newnamefor2021 · 23/03/2023 09:13

QueenCamilla · 23/03/2023 01:41

Hmm... I really doubt BG would even blink at an unexpected phone call from one of their engineers.
Also, how would he get paid if the call-out was not logged? How did he get sent out without any record? How do they know who is it if there's no log?

I was terrifyingly sexually assaulted by a guy sent to read the gas meter. The gas company were... Only bothered about the problem going away.
The company representatives were sent to my home and I had to endure a pretty humiliating questioning about whether I sent "mixed signals" or do I know the engineer "from before".
The company were even going to dispute the very fact that it was their engineer but couldn't really as the call-out was logged.
Have to say, I was surprised the whole timing and my address were logged - I thought I've let in a rapist with a fake ID but on checking with the company an engineer really was due at my house that morning.

Maybe the BG have progressed these days - from being chill about sexual assaults, to taking missed calls seriously.

I have never felt safe around any trades since. Have had some unpleasant experiences with builders... It sucks how unregulated are the industries that send men into peoples homes. I wish we could do something like "Claire's Law" before choosing a tradesperson.

They haven't progressed. I'm really sorry that happened to you. Must have been terrifying and the extra stress they put you under is absolutely abhorrent.

Regarding if things are logged etc. it sounds like he cancelled the job. What he did is not policy but equally they have engineers by the small and curly and many do cancel jobs off and work on rather than take the hit on performance depending on which way the company are punishing engineers at the time. I am guessing he panicked when it recalled and that's why he kept calling to get her to say he want there. Once jobs go to a third job senior management is involved and it's likely he would be found out.

What he did was wrong and he is cheating the system. Equally it's a system that is not winnable because it only works if every job is able textbook and traffic is perfect and customers don't want to talk and you have all the parts and the parts cost nothing! Because otherwise you'll be punished and have to work on.

But equally, what he did was wrong.

I think your post highlights that while is likely to not be anything sinister equally it can be.

Again, I am sorry for your experiences. I am unfortunately not surprised by the company's handling of it.

myusernamewastakenbyme · 23/03/2023 09:18

Why on earth would gas man be pursuing op when he knows shes married...like others have said he probably left paperwork or tools behind.

Mothership4two · 23/03/2023 09:22

That's scary @Newnamefor2021!

Mothership4two · 23/03/2023 09:38

myusernamewastakenbyme · 23/03/2023 09:18

Why on earth would gas man be pursuing op when he knows shes married...like others have said he probably left paperwork or tools behind.

Because a wedding ring will definitely put off a predator!

He hasn't left anything behind (according to him), he shouldn't have saved OP's number onto his phone and he shouldn't have called her repeatedly. BG investigated and are going through internal disciplinary procedures (whatever that actually means).

If you can't be bothered to RTWT at least read OP's updates

PrtScn · 23/03/2023 10:09

Margot78 · 21/03/2023 12:27

Four different engineers to fix one meter?

I had 3 openreach engineers trying to connect me to fibre broadband (1st one seemed incompetent, 2nd one knew what to do but didn’t have thenright tool, hence 3rd….They got there in the end, bless) so 4 doesn’t surprise me at all 😂

Original poster
PandaEyed13 · 23/03/2023 11:02

Newnamefor2021 · 23/03/2023 09:13

They haven't progressed. I'm really sorry that happened to you. Must have been terrifying and the extra stress they put you under is absolutely abhorrent.

Regarding if things are logged etc. it sounds like he cancelled the job. What he did is not policy but equally they have engineers by the small and curly and many do cancel jobs off and work on rather than take the hit on performance depending on which way the company are punishing engineers at the time. I am guessing he panicked when it recalled and that's why he kept calling to get her to say he want there. Once jobs go to a third job senior management is involved and it's likely he would be found out.

What he did was wrong and he is cheating the system. Equally it's a system that is not winnable because it only works if every job is able textbook and traffic is perfect and customers don't want to talk and you have all the parts and the parts cost nothing! Because otherwise you'll be punished and have to work on.

But equally, what he did was wrong.

I think your post highlights that while is likely to not be anything sinister equally it can be.

Again, I am sorry for your experiences. I am unfortunately not surprised by the company's handling of it.

Show quote history

I hope people actually read this one before calling me an attention seeking dolly dimple.

He could have cancelled the job and that's why it wasn't logged on the day, and it would make sense as he did no work, yet he was here at my house for close to 90 minutes. (As for "did he leave a tool?) - he didn't get any out!)
He said he couldn't replace my faulty meter as BG are only fitting new smart meters now and I needed to have a dual tariff meter fitted, which he couldn't do because I had separate tariffs. I didn't think that was right but I didn't know, because we have only been with BG a few months as our old energy company (nabuh) went bust and were acquired by BG. They handled takeover, everything was as it always was and I never needed to get it touch for anything until my gas meter stopped working.
So on the day, he said he'd call BG for me then and there. He went into his van to make a call, then came back in.
Chatted for a few minutes, went back to the van to make another call for me (he said.)
Came back in, chatted, etc, he did (what I thought was) a pointless gas safety check, I said that didn't need to be done as everything in my house except the boiler was electric. He still went round all my appliances anyway to just confirm that.
Checked my boiler, asked to use my bathroom, asked for water, asked for a brew
Said he'd make another appointment for another engineer to return next week and do the work. I didn't tell him I was married, there are not pictures of me or my husband downstairs, just of my children and he asked "do you want me to call your fella and chat to him for you to save you the jargon" and I said "no I'm good."
He was super super friendly and, I will say it, a little tiny bit flirty but I thought NOTHING of it. Nothing. I've had dozens of tradies in, they all can be like that and they're just friendly blokes, the roofers were there that morning before he arrived, clearing the guttering and they were just as friendly and flirty!

Next week (the appointment he said he made for me) nobody showed up, so I rang BG. They said then on the call - there was no record of his visit, no phone calls made by him on the day to them about merging accounts, no further appointment booked and also - my accounts have always been merged.
At that point I didn't think he was a monstrous sex pest, I was just royally peed off because I'd been off gas supply for ages by that point!
So I asked for a another engineer to come, they sent 2 who came together the following week and they did all the work. Job done, sorted, I signed all the paperwork and I forgot about it.
THEN a week after that, the calls began and the text. As I've said 6 calls in total and a text, "hey call me!"
I didn't immediately assume he was chasing me or a sexual predator, a few things crossed my mind, I also thought "has he been rollocked for doing no work on the day and he's calling to lay into me because I told on him" and I also thought "was he just following up?" Creepy pest was just ONE thing I considered.
I actually was actually more worried about aggression from an unhinged slacker employee who's been ticked off for not doing the work rather than thinking, as some posters put, that I'm "irresistible!"
But whatever it was I wanted NO PART OF IT, whatever he wanted, it was a nope.
I didn't call to report him - I called to ask BG what compensation would be available for leaving us off supply for 3 weeks. I mentioned engineer guy at the end of that call as a casual query, who told me he shouldn't have called or still had my number and again reiterated that there was no log of his visit or of any of the things he claimed he did that day! They asked did I want to report at that time. I said no.
I only reported AFTER he wouldn't talk to my husband, hung up on him and then tried to call ME back right after.
It all felt off, so I reported.
BG said they'll deal with it and offered me £30, which I accepted. Why not.
I've not heard anything since.
All over.
Sorry not sorry to anyone who's offended on his behalf.

OP posts:
FrostyFifi · 23/03/2023 11:31

I don’t like the attitude of the text either, basically you’ve fixed my long standing issue, I have no use for you now

Wtf? Well yes, that's how it works. Once a tradesman has completed work/fixed whatever then that's the working relationship over - what's she meant to do? Buy him a pint? Start a lifelong friendship?

Fucking batshit.

fatchilli123 · 23/03/2023 11:56

I would want to know if he knew something about the work that British gas isn't saying to your face or lost his tools or a part for another job .
Recently had electrician call me late at night
Poor man left the next days new parts on my kitchen table he was so grateful poor man.
Sometimes there are creepers out there and sometimes they just get forgetful.
I have always made sure I tell people and have had a friend round or neighbour just to be safe but never once had an issue except a dustman who was just a real creep his friends said so too 😂

Laisydaisy · 23/03/2023 11:59

Dear OP - your feeling that something was ‘a bit off’ turned out to be spot-on according to all the information you have from BG. I’m really sorry you have had this concern to deal with.
It is hard - because we worry about being unfair - but I think we should implicitly trust those feelings of slight unease. We get them for a reason. They don’t come from nowhere. They are instinctive - which is why we can’t necessarily explain them rationally at first.
But they are important and are there to warn and protect us.
The hardest thing is not to doubt oneself. The worst that can happen is not going to be because we may be too wary. Not being wary when we feel uneasy is far more risky.
Trust your yourself, trust your feelings and your instinct.
And - because of the horrifying ordeal you went through as a younger woman - you have even more reason to trust yourself. You will be instinctively more attuned to what is ‘a bit off’, even unconsciously, and you will always be right to pay attention to that feeling.
The situation you see at school with the girls is heartbreaking. Thank heavens you and the staff are aware and actively engaging with the children to help them build healthy, compassionate relationships with each other. This is so vital. The waves of extremism and the lack of care for others and the way hatred is used as a unifier seems to be becoming so normalised. These things are a real threat to the wellbeing of young people now and for future generations.

travellinglighter · 23/03/2023 12:15

I work for a utility company , if one of my staff was doing this, I’d want to know. We are all currently going through DBS checks as mandated by our regulator but about five years ago, a member of staff was forced to resign before he was fired for a criminal conviction. I suspect his actions are what led to the regulator specifying DBS checks.

I think your call will have already rung alarm bells at British Gas and your engineer is probably facing some difficult questions.

JoyBeorge · 23/03/2023 12:27

PandaEyed13 · 23/03/2023 11:02

I hope people actually read this one before calling me an attention seeking dolly dimple.

He could have cancelled the job and that's why it wasn't logged on the day, and it would make sense as he did no work, yet he was here at my house for close to 90 minutes. (As for "did he leave a tool?) - he didn't get any out!)
He said he couldn't replace my faulty meter as BG are only fitting new smart meters now and I needed to have a dual tariff meter fitted, which he couldn't do because I had separate tariffs. I didn't think that was right but I didn't know, because we have only been with BG a few months as our old energy company (nabuh) went bust and were acquired by BG. They handled takeover, everything was as it always was and I never needed to get it touch for anything until my gas meter stopped working.
So on the day, he said he'd call BG for me then and there. He went into his van to make a call, then came back in.
Chatted for a few minutes, went back to the van to make another call for me (he said.)
Came back in, chatted, etc, he did (what I thought was) a pointless gas safety check, I said that didn't need to be done as everything in my house except the boiler was electric. He still went round all my appliances anyway to just confirm that.
Checked my boiler, asked to use my bathroom, asked for water, asked for a brew
Said he'd make another appointment for another engineer to return next week and do the work. I didn't tell him I was married, there are not pictures of me or my husband downstairs, just of my children and he asked "do you want me to call your fella and chat to him for you to save you the jargon" and I said "no I'm good."
He was super super friendly and, I will say it, a little tiny bit flirty but I thought NOTHING of it. Nothing. I've had dozens of tradies in, they all can be like that and they're just friendly blokes, the roofers were there that morning before he arrived, clearing the guttering and they were just as friendly and flirty!

Next week (the appointment he said he made for me) nobody showed up, so I rang BG. They said then on the call - there was no record of his visit, no phone calls made by him on the day to them about merging accounts, no further appointment booked and also - my accounts have always been merged.
At that point I didn't think he was a monstrous sex pest, I was just royally peed off because I'd been off gas supply for ages by that point!
So I asked for a another engineer to come, they sent 2 who came together the following week and they did all the work. Job done, sorted, I signed all the paperwork and I forgot about it.
THEN a week after that, the calls began and the text. As I've said 6 calls in total and a text, "hey call me!"
I didn't immediately assume he was chasing me or a sexual predator, a few things crossed my mind, I also thought "has he been rollocked for doing no work on the day and he's calling to lay into me because I told on him" and I also thought "was he just following up?" Creepy pest was just ONE thing I considered.
I actually was actually more worried about aggression from an unhinged slacker employee who's been ticked off for not doing the work rather than thinking, as some posters put, that I'm "irresistible!"
But whatever it was I wanted NO PART OF IT, whatever he wanted, it was a nope.
I didn't call to report him - I called to ask BG what compensation would be available for leaving us off supply for 3 weeks. I mentioned engineer guy at the end of that call as a casual query, who told me he shouldn't have called or still had my number and again reiterated that there was no log of his visit or of any of the things he claimed he did that day! They asked did I want to report at that time. I said no.
I only reported AFTER he wouldn't talk to my husband, hung up on him and then tried to call ME back right after.
It all felt off, so I reported.
BG said they'll deal with it and offered me £30, which I accepted. Why not.
I've not heard anything since.
All over.
Sorry not sorry to anyone who's offended on his behalf.

Show quote history

Lots of unrelated drama to sift through in that lot, but just because he didn't get any tools out doesn't mean he didn't lose something around that time and just be calling all the jobs he attended arou d that time to check if they found something. But yeah, I guess it all makes perfect sense to get him sacked when you don't even know why he was trying to contact you.

TheSingingBean · 23/03/2023 12:35

profile22 · 22/03/2023 21:01

Gotta say, this has annoyed me. Not the engineer, but the way you have gone about this.
This guy was a competent engineer, friendly, and offered to call your husband and explain, & the job is also fixed. It’s not unusual in the slightest for the attending engineer to have a mobile number for the customer. Why would you think that odd?? He’s called you after the job, so what ?! If YOU’D handled the situation properly, you’d have known what he wanted. Instead, you called your mum, riled up your husband, AND worst of all called his employer and he’s done nothing wrong. It could have been a courtesy call because he knows it was a bit of a bugger to fix, or maybe he’s lost a bit of kit, and wondered if he’d left it behind, could have been any manner of innocent things. I don’t like the attitude of the text either, basically you’ve fixed my long standing issue, I have no use for you now. 🙄

What he wanted? He wanted to establish contact with the OP, quite inappropriately.

I'm puzzled why one woman asserting her boundaries should 'annoy' you so much.

The lengths some people will go to to portray men as the victims and women as the offenders beggars belief. Give your head a wobble.

TheSingingBean · 23/03/2023 12:38

JoyBeorge · 23/03/2023 12:27

Lots of unrelated drama to sift through in that lot, but just because he didn't get any tools out doesn't mean he didn't lose something around that time and just be calling all the jobs he attended arou d that time to check if they found something. But yeah, I guess it all makes perfect sense to get him sacked when you don't even know why he was trying to contact you.

Show quote history

In which case, why did he hang up on the OP's husband rather than explain he had left a tool at their house?

Another poster determined to see the OP as the offender, ffs.

FrostyFifi · 23/03/2023 12:45

Are people actually weirdly jealous?
Is it like, how dare you suggest that someone might want to harrass you, do you think you're hot or something?

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 23/03/2023 12:48

This thread is fucking horrible.

Sorry, OP.

ShirleyPhallus · 23/03/2023 12:53

Really refreshing to see the OP @PandaEyed13 calling out the bullshittery and minimising that has gone on on this thread. So many posters making stuff up, accusing her of things then telling her maybe MN isn’t the place for her when she replies. Awful. Best of luck to you OP.

Laquila · 23/03/2023 12:54

FWIW, OP, I get it. I don't think you've been unreasonable but I do wish that unwarranted contact from men we don't know didn't have the power to make us feel so uncomfortable*, for whatever reason. Some people have quite a narrow frame of reference, so it won't make sense to everyone.

*If you're reading this and thinking "It wouldn't make ME feel uncomfortable and I am going to articulate that in the strongest possible terms!" then good for you, but we're all different, aren't we.

Original poster
PandaEyed13 · 23/03/2023 12:59

FrostyFifi · 23/03/2023 12:45

Are people actually weirdly jealous?
Is it like, how dare you suggest that someone might want to harrass you, do you think you're hot or something?

@FrostyFifi I've not dared to consider this out loud myself, as I would have been immediately pounced on!
Some people aren't reading my updates, they've made up their mind. I'm a narcissistic attention seeker who's got a poor boy fired. Apparently.
Whatever.

OP posts:
limitedperiodonly · 23/03/2023 13:35

I guess it all makes perfect sense to get him sacked when you don't even know why he was trying to contact you.

@JoyBeorge who's being dramatic here? Why will he get sacked?

The most that will happen is that British Gas won't send him round to that house again. Unless there are a few other complaints about him in which case they should look into it, shouldn't they?