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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Inappropriate contact from British Gas engineer?!!

426 replies

PandaEyed13 · 21/03/2023 11:31

Bit of a weird one!

Has anyone had a gas/electric engineer respond to a call out at their property - and then had the engineer call and text their personal mobile number weeks after the work?!

Had a problem with my gas meter at my house last month and British Gas sent multiple engineers on varying dates to try and fix the issue, 4 engineers in total on 4 separate dates over the past few weeks, the issue got fixed and resolved last week, job done, lovely stuff!

Over this past weekend though I had 2 missed calls from a mobile phone number I didn't recognise. I didn't answer because it's just my personal philosophy not to answer to unfamiliar numbers, I assumed they were cold calls and forgot about it.

Yesterday morning though, I got 2 more calls from this number. Then a text - "Hi there B, (not my real name) it's 'Dan' (not his real name) from British Gas, call me back..'

Erm...that's weird right?
So when I cast my mind back, 'Dan' was engineer number 2 from visit number 2 about 3 weeks ago!

I can remember him being very friendly, really helpful - to the point of being almost above and beyond. He didn't cross any boundaries on the day. He was a teeny tiny bit vibey, like the absolute smidgen of a flirt, but not in a way that made me uncomfortable, he was just treating me a bit 'damsel in distressy,' which I didnt think much of at the time, I just wanted the work done! He even offered to call my DH for me at his work and explain what work he was doing at the house so I didn't have to bother trying to suss out the jargon to relay back to him. I said no thanks, but me being married became known information!

Fast forward 3 weeks and he's called my personal mobile number from his 4 times and sent a text asking me to call him. This is weird, yes? Boundary crossing? Call-out engineers never do follow up calls right? None of the other 3 engineers who came to my house have contacted me! I called my mum right after and DH on his work break and both freaked out, like "what if he's a nutter, he knows where you live!" etc etc.

My mum advised to reply to his text saying "no thanks, I won't be calling as the work has been completed at our property now, but thanks for your help on the day" and then to block his number if he replies to that or calls again. So I sent that text this morning and no reply as of yet. DH wants his number to call him though and ask what the F he wants! I spoke to British Gas this morning and they said it's not commonplace for call-out engineers to make contact with residents of properties they have attended or to make follow up calls and do I want to start an investigation. I said I didn't know because I haven't heard anything else since I sent my "thanks but no thanks" message a few hours ago, so they said call back if I get anything else.

I don't want to get anyone in trouble if it's all innocent, or antagonise anyone if it's not!

And DH is chomping at the bit for me to pass his number on so he can ring him, which I'm also reluctant to do?

Ideas, opinions? Anyone else had the 'friendly engineer' hit them up? I tried to Google whether engineers do this and there's absolutely nothing, so I'm thinking - no, they don't! Even if he is just following up on the day, it's still inappropriate and boundary crossing right? How he got my mobile num, I don't even know, he's a call-out engineer not a call centre agent with account access!

Didn't know where else to post this so went with AIBU, although I don't think I am to be freaked out!

OP posts:
MissMissive · 21/03/2023 20:48

TwoHedgehogs · 21/03/2023 20:43

I've read your posts and you clearly have some unresolved trauma over what happened to you in the past. If this was me and someone who had done some work called I'd simply answer and see what they wanted. If they were trying it on I'd simply say I'm married thanks, bye. This seems like a whole load of drama over nothing, he's simply rang you not propositioned you. You've probably got someone on a disciplinary over nothing. Maybe seek some help for your past trauma.

No. Nice try though. If it was a genuine call then he’ll be fine too. If not - best not to phone previous female customers and then hang up on their husbands.

On the previous unresolved trauma - well a lot of women have that. Why might that be… is it usually due to men overstepping a line? Oh yes. It is.

BelindaMelinda · 21/03/2023 20:57

So. Much. Drama.

'Hi Dan, how can I help' and you'd have known for certain why he wanted to speak to you and saved allll the hassle.

Maybe he's a pervert.
Maybe he lost something and is contacting his recent call outs.

Mayyybeee he recognised your husband in a photo on the wall as the married bloke that's been banging his cousin for the last few months and he wrangled with his conscience for weeks before deciding to tell you.

Now you'll never know.

I could never live with the uncertainty, I'd have just asked.

EightChalk · 21/03/2023 21:00

MissMissive · 21/03/2023 20:48

No. Nice try though. If it was a genuine call then he’ll be fine too. If not - best not to phone previous female customers and then hang up on their husbands.

On the previous unresolved trauma - well a lot of women have that. Why might that be… is it usually due to men overstepping a line? Oh yes. It is.

Absolutely! All of the bending over backwards as to why he might be innocent and how the OP must be dramatic for not wanting to call a man who was already behaving inappropriately is genuinely disgusting.

hexagon123 · 21/03/2023 21:11

Why wouldn't you let your husband call? You are being unreasonable and attention seeking

MissMissive · 21/03/2023 21:16

BelindaMelinda · 21/03/2023 20:57

So. Much. Drama.

'Hi Dan, how can I help' and you'd have known for certain why he wanted to speak to you and saved allll the hassle.

Maybe he's a pervert.
Maybe he lost something and is contacting his recent call outs.

Mayyybeee he recognised your husband in a photo on the wall as the married bloke that's been banging his cousin for the last few months and he wrangled with his conscience for weeks before deciding to tell you.

Now you'll never know.

I could never live with the uncertainty, I'd have just asked.

The drama is coming from posters with posts like this.

MissMissive · 21/03/2023 21:17

hexagon123 · 21/03/2023 21:11

Why wouldn't you let your husband call? You are being unreasonable and attention seeking

Nice dig but reading the OPs posts might shed light here.

CustardySergeant · 21/03/2023 21:17

hexagon123 · 21/03/2023 21:11

Why wouldn't you let your husband call? You are being unreasonable and attention seeking

Read the OP's second post. Her husband did call and the engineer hung up on him!

MissMissive · 21/03/2023 21:21

EightChalk · 21/03/2023 21:00

Absolutely! All of the bending over backwards as to why he might be innocent and how the OP must be dramatic for not wanting to call a man who was already behaving inappropriately is genuinely disgusting.

It’s bizarre isn’t it (and embarrassing for them!)

DashboardConfessional · 21/03/2023 22:08

Mayyybeee he recognised your husband in a photo on the wall as the married bloke that's been banging his cousin for the last few months and he wrangled with his conscience for weeks before deciding to tell you.

Oh wow. This is on another level. I was waiting for "Maybe he thought you were at risk of DV" but this is special - bravo.

FrostyFifi · 21/03/2023 22:13

Right? I mean that is so much more likely than the guy just being a creepy perve, that's so vanishingly rare after all.

RobertsRadio · 21/03/2023 22:28

"Mayyybeee he recognised your husband in a photo on the wall as the married bloke that's been banging his cousin for the last few months and he wrangled with his conscience for weeks before deciding to tell you."

Fuck me, I thought I had an active imagination, but that is really one hell of a fantasy stretch.

HRTQueen · 21/03/2023 22:54

He will try it over and over again and some one will respond with what he wants

op you are meant to be flattered 🙄

it’s inappropriate he was there for work nothing else.

I had to cal the police on a cable engineer starting off just as friendly he was cautioned … I’m not suggesting it would have gone the same way but they issue is he thinks it’s ok to over step boundaries

limitedperiodonly · 21/03/2023 23:25

TwoHedgehogs · 21/03/2023 20:43

I've read your posts and you clearly have some unresolved trauma over what happened to you in the past. If this was me and someone who had done some work called I'd simply answer and see what they wanted. If they were trying it on I'd simply say I'm married thanks, bye. This seems like a whole load of drama over nothing, he's simply rang you not propositioned you. You've probably got someone on a disciplinary over nothing. Maybe seek some help for your past trauma.

@TwoHedgehogs is there some kind of bat signal for you people?

limitedperiodonly · 21/03/2023 23:29

Naunet · 21/03/2023 19:28

I don’t know why so many women still bend over backwards to give men the benefit of the doubt, even when they’ve acted inappropriately. Even mocking a woman when she expresses concern, because obviously, we should all assume the best of men at all times for some reason. 🙄

They might be women but I'm not sure.

limitedperiodonly · 21/03/2023 23:43

I wonder if all these posts are from busted sex offenders angry that the Met Police have ruined it for them?

MissMissive · 22/03/2023 00:00

limitedperiodonly · 21/03/2023 23:25

@TwoHedgehogs is there some kind of bat signal for you people?

Batshit signal

PandaEyed13 · 22/03/2023 07:32

Mayyybeee he recognised your husband in a photo on the wall as the married bloke that's been banging his cousin for the last few months and he wrangled with his conscience for weeks before deciding to tell you.

And I got called out for calling posters on here toxic hags? I mean, really?
This is the farthest I've seen someone go on here to minimise the issue, brush off inappropriate contact and blame the woman.

Yes @BelindaMelinda this regularly happens - in backwards fantasy land!

OP posts:
HereForTheFreeLunch · 22/03/2023 08:20

You gotta laugh at that one PandaEye

That's the real reason men ring up women they want to hit on... because their cousin's aunty's nephews daughter is shagging the woman's husband's sister's friend's son.

Also I'm sure a lot of tradesmen are lovely people but still as a collective they don't strike me as people known for wrangling with their conscience.

ConsumedByCake · 22/03/2023 08:32

The word "maybe" has done some sterling work on this thread. Lots of heavy lifting.

Rubyupbeat · 22/03/2023 08:40

Probably not the right thing to do, but my best friend met and married her husband this way, 35 years ago. British Gas engineer came for a repair and went out in a date the following night.
I suppose in certainly cases it could be seen as harassment, but he won't know until you tell him.

MinnieGirl · 22/03/2023 08:45

Goodness me there are some very nasty posts on here!

Op you totally did the right thing… this guy’s behaviour was creepy and inappropriate. You questioned the behaviour with BG and they confirmed he should not have acted as he did. So now he will find that his actions have consequences.

Never mind he might loose his job. Never mind how his wife might feel…ffs that is totally down to him and his behaviour.
I doubt very much this is the first time he’s done this… and he needs to be stopped.

People need to stop being nasty to the OP and realise that this guy has been harassing a female customer.

ForestLilac · 22/03/2023 08:48

@PandaEyed13 I’m not sure a promise of £30 is enough here. Can you put all this in writing and email someone higher up? Essentially all you’ve got is a vague ‘yeah he shouldn’t have done that’.

Kaytpope · 22/03/2023 08:49

MetalFences · 21/03/2023 15:59

Any sensible person would have just rung the guy back to find out what he wanted.

You should go to the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too.

Captain America Lol GIF by mtv

🤣🤣

Thingshavegonetoshit · 22/03/2023 09:10

I think this post highlights how toxic women can be to other women. Women calling other women derogatory names, mocking them and calling them sex offenders (I realise the ones containing offensive words have been deleted before I’m called out on that). Misogyny is spoken about often on MN but if those posters who are defending women’s rights are so happy to throw such insulting comments to other women, then why are posters standing up for something that they don’t believe in themselves. If anything, this thread highlights how toxic women can be.

limitedperiodonly · 22/03/2023 09:14

I suppose in certainly cases it could be seen as harassment, but he won't know until you tell him.

@Rubyupbeat don't worry. He'll probably get the message when his boss tells him