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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Inappropriate contact from British Gas engineer?!!

426 replies

PandaEyed13 · 21/03/2023 11:31

Bit of a weird one!

Has anyone had a gas/electric engineer respond to a call out at their property - and then had the engineer call and text their personal mobile number weeks after the work?!

Had a problem with my gas meter at my house last month and British Gas sent multiple engineers on varying dates to try and fix the issue, 4 engineers in total on 4 separate dates over the past few weeks, the issue got fixed and resolved last week, job done, lovely stuff!

Over this past weekend though I had 2 missed calls from a mobile phone number I didn't recognise. I didn't answer because it's just my personal philosophy not to answer to unfamiliar numbers, I assumed they were cold calls and forgot about it.

Yesterday morning though, I got 2 more calls from this number. Then a text - "Hi there B, (not my real name) it's 'Dan' (not his real name) from British Gas, call me back..'

Erm...that's weird right?
So when I cast my mind back, 'Dan' was engineer number 2 from visit number 2 about 3 weeks ago!

I can remember him being very friendly, really helpful - to the point of being almost above and beyond. He didn't cross any boundaries on the day. He was a teeny tiny bit vibey, like the absolute smidgen of a flirt, but not in a way that made me uncomfortable, he was just treating me a bit 'damsel in distressy,' which I didnt think much of at the time, I just wanted the work done! He even offered to call my DH for me at his work and explain what work he was doing at the house so I didn't have to bother trying to suss out the jargon to relay back to him. I said no thanks, but me being married became known information!

Fast forward 3 weeks and he's called my personal mobile number from his 4 times and sent a text asking me to call him. This is weird, yes? Boundary crossing? Call-out engineers never do follow up calls right? None of the other 3 engineers who came to my house have contacted me! I called my mum right after and DH on his work break and both freaked out, like "what if he's a nutter, he knows where you live!" etc etc.

My mum advised to reply to his text saying "no thanks, I won't be calling as the work has been completed at our property now, but thanks for your help on the day" and then to block his number if he replies to that or calls again. So I sent that text this morning and no reply as of yet. DH wants his number to call him though and ask what the F he wants! I spoke to British Gas this morning and they said it's not commonplace for call-out engineers to make contact with residents of properties they have attended or to make follow up calls and do I want to start an investigation. I said I didn't know because I haven't heard anything else since I sent my "thanks but no thanks" message a few hours ago, so they said call back if I get anything else.

I don't want to get anyone in trouble if it's all innocent, or antagonise anyone if it's not!

And DH is chomping at the bit for me to pass his number on so he can ring him, which I'm also reluctant to do?

Ideas, opinions? Anyone else had the 'friendly engineer' hit them up? I tried to Google whether engineers do this and there's absolutely nothing, so I'm thinking - no, they don't! Even if he is just following up on the day, it's still inappropriate and boundary crossing right? How he got my mobile num, I don't even know, he's a call-out engineer not a call centre agent with account access!

Didn't know where else to post this so went with AIBU, although I don't think I am to be freaked out!

OP posts:
ClaireEclair · 22/03/2023 19:07

Maybe he met someone with the same name as you and is trying to contact her.

DashboardConfessional · 22/03/2023 19:12

WhoNeedsToSleepAnyway · 22/03/2023 18:35

I've read all the OPs posts and totally agree with her ..as women we need to listen to our 'spidey senses' . Something felt wrong... it was, BG have confirmed he didn't follow protocol, only he knows to what end! How many reports of men (mainly) abusing the power of a uniform do we need to hear. He may be trying this approach with other women, maybe others who are vulnerable. if he wasn't doing anything wrong letting his employer know wouldn't be an issue would it? As women we should be championing each other not bringing each other down.

I wish the 5 posters after you had also bothered to read more than the OP's opening post. 😁

EightChalk · 22/03/2023 19:14

DashboardConfessional · 22/03/2023 19:12

I wish the 5 posters after you had also bothered to read more than the OP's opening post. 😁

Show quote history

I think they're doing it on purpose now...

ClaireEclair · 22/03/2023 19:15

Oh I’ve just caught up. Sorry about my post. He sounds very worrying. Hopefully they will deal with him.

DashboardConfessional · 22/03/2023 19:17

EightChalk · 22/03/2023 19:14

I think they're doing it on purpose now...

Show quote history

I think at least half must be. I'm interested to see what new excuses for him they can come up with though.

FootieMama · 22/03/2023 19:46

OP unfortunately many women don't believe in fellow women who obviously have been victims of sexual harassment. It is shameful.
You acted correctly. If he had anything related to the repair he would have texted or leave a voice message on the subject he wanted to discuss. The call back request was just that there wouldn't be a record of his advances. Completely inappropriate. Don't take the bullshit some women are writing here to heart

LoisLane66 · 22/03/2023 19:59

I've had post-job texts from TW engineers saying if problem occurs again to give them a ring or to say outside job has been completed. They have work mobiles just as Tesco and most couriers do to ring or text if they're going to deliver early and want to know if I'll be in. No idea about BG.
I did get calls from Royal Mail when a parcel went missing and several follow up texts and voicemails. In order to claim compensation I had to give my name, address, mobile and email plus weight and contents of parcel (bras, but I just said 'lingerie')
A different person (turned out to be agency staff) made the unwanted contact with me after getting hold of the details I gave to the original customer service advisor.
I recorded the voicemail and sent it with the other messages to RM executive office and reported to my area police who followed it up and sent the details to Devon & Cornwall police where the guy lived (using a false name) He had to go on a course and had several weeks of supervision plus a criminal record. Police kept me in the loop every step of the way. Obviously, he was sacked from RM and the Agency who provided the placement.
My advice? Make an official complaint.

Un7breakable · 22/03/2023 20:03

Yes, I've had this. Not innocent, repeated calls late at night, rude emojis etc. Told BG not sure anything was done. I texted him back and told him not to contact me, he didn't do it again.

AAAAABBBBBCCCCC · 22/03/2023 20:11

Better to be safe than sorry!

You went with your gut instinct; unsure why anyone would begrudge you that.

You are not a drama queen, at all.

Some really mean, judgemental comments being posted in here.

TeaStory · 22/03/2023 20:26

Mumsnet: Trust your gut. Be wary of men pushing boundaries. Read ‘The Gift Of Fear’. Shut men’s shit down.

Also Mumsnet: No, not like that.

Emmamoo89 · 22/03/2023 20:33

Yanbu. Sounds like a creep.

Bekstar · 22/03/2023 20:48

No but I did once misread a situation in a similar way. Workmen who I'd hired for garden work. Completed work then a week later began to ring. I ignored, he'd been friendly I didn't hink flirty etc but I just thought he was going to try for extra work. Turns out he'd lost a sentimental piece of jewellery passed down for generations while he was working. We found it a few days later and realised he'd been only other person in garden and rang him. It turned out this is the reason he was ringing for.

profile22 · 22/03/2023 21:01

Gotta say, this has annoyed me. Not the engineer, but the way you have gone about this.
This guy was a competent engineer, friendly, and offered to call your husband and explain, & the job is also fixed. It’s not unusual in the slightest for the attending engineer to have a mobile number for the customer. Why would you think that odd?? He’s called you after the job, so what ?! If YOU’D handled the situation properly, you’d have known what he wanted. Instead, you called your mum, riled up your husband, AND worst of all called his employer and he’s done nothing wrong. It could have been a courtesy call because he knows it was a bit of a bugger to fix, or maybe he’s lost a bit of kit, and wondered if he’d left it behind, could have been any manner of innocent things. I don’t like the attitude of the text either, basically you’ve fixed my long standing issue, I have no use for you now. 🙄

MissMissive · 22/03/2023 21:14

profile22 · 22/03/2023 21:01

Gotta say, this has annoyed me. Not the engineer, but the way you have gone about this.
This guy was a competent engineer, friendly, and offered to call your husband and explain, & the job is also fixed. It’s not unusual in the slightest for the attending engineer to have a mobile number for the customer. Why would you think that odd?? He’s called you after the job, so what ?! If YOU’D handled the situation properly, you’d have known what he wanted. Instead, you called your mum, riled up your husband, AND worst of all called his employer and he’s done nothing wrong. It could have been a courtesy call because he knows it was a bit of a bugger to fix, or maybe he’s lost a bit of kit, and wondered if he’d left it behind, could have been any manner of innocent things. I don’t like the attitude of the text either, basically you’ve fixed my long standing issue, I have no use for you now. 🙄

Hi There, creepy BG Engineer. Good for you telling off the pesky woman that didn’t want unsolicited contact!

Grrrrdarling · 22/03/2023 21:14

PandaEyed13 · 21/03/2023 11:31

Bit of a weird one!

Has anyone had a gas/electric engineer respond to a call out at their property - and then had the engineer call and text their personal mobile number weeks after the work?!

Had a problem with my gas meter at my house last month and British Gas sent multiple engineers on varying dates to try and fix the issue, 4 engineers in total on 4 separate dates over the past few weeks, the issue got fixed and resolved last week, job done, lovely stuff!

Over this past weekend though I had 2 missed calls from a mobile phone number I didn't recognise. I didn't answer because it's just my personal philosophy not to answer to unfamiliar numbers, I assumed they were cold calls and forgot about it.

Yesterday morning though, I got 2 more calls from this number. Then a text - "Hi there B, (not my real name) it's 'Dan' (not his real name) from British Gas, call me back..'

Erm...that's weird right?
So when I cast my mind back, 'Dan' was engineer number 2 from visit number 2 about 3 weeks ago!

I can remember him being very friendly, really helpful - to the point of being almost above and beyond. He didn't cross any boundaries on the day. He was a teeny tiny bit vibey, like the absolute smidgen of a flirt, but not in a way that made me uncomfortable, he was just treating me a bit 'damsel in distressy,' which I didnt think much of at the time, I just wanted the work done! He even offered to call my DH for me at his work and explain what work he was doing at the house so I didn't have to bother trying to suss out the jargon to relay back to him. I said no thanks, but me being married became known information!

Fast forward 3 weeks and he's called my personal mobile number from his 4 times and sent a text asking me to call him. This is weird, yes? Boundary crossing? Call-out engineers never do follow up calls right? None of the other 3 engineers who came to my house have contacted me! I called my mum right after and DH on his work break and both freaked out, like "what if he's a nutter, he knows where you live!" etc etc.

My mum advised to reply to his text saying "no thanks, I won't be calling as the work has been completed at our property now, but thanks for your help on the day" and then to block his number if he replies to that or calls again. So I sent that text this morning and no reply as of yet. DH wants his number to call him though and ask what the F he wants! I spoke to British Gas this morning and they said it's not commonplace for call-out engineers to make contact with residents of properties they have attended or to make follow up calls and do I want to start an investigation. I said I didn't know because I haven't heard anything else since I sent my "thanks but no thanks" message a few hours ago, so they said call back if I get anything else.

I don't want to get anyone in trouble if it's all innocent, or antagonise anyone if it's not!

And DH is chomping at the bit for me to pass his number on so he can ring him, which I'm also reluctant to do?

Ideas, opinions? Anyone else had the 'friendly engineer' hit them up? I tried to Google whether engineers do this and there's absolutely nothing, so I'm thinking - no, they don't! Even if he is just following up on the day, it's still inappropriate and boundary crossing right? How he got my mobile num, I don't even know, he's a call-out engineer not a call centre agent with account access!

Didn't know where else to post this so went with AIBU, although I don't think I am to be freaked out!

Instead of assuming you know what he wants just call or text him back to see what he wants.
If it is just a customer service call, from his work phone, to check everything is ok then nothing to report.
If however he has held onto your number, in his private phone, to hit you up for a date then that would breech data protection & be something you need to inform his employers about!

DashboardConfessional · 22/03/2023 21:15

profile22 · 22/03/2023 21:01

Gotta say, this has annoyed me. Not the engineer, but the way you have gone about this.
This guy was a competent engineer, friendly, and offered to call your husband and explain, & the job is also fixed. It’s not unusual in the slightest for the attending engineer to have a mobile number for the customer. Why would you think that odd?? He’s called you after the job, so what ?! If YOU’D handled the situation properly, you’d have known what he wanted. Instead, you called your mum, riled up your husband, AND worst of all called his employer and he’s done nothing wrong. It could have been a courtesy call because he knows it was a bit of a bugger to fix, or maybe he’s lost a bit of kit, and wondered if he’d left it behind, could have been any manner of innocent things. I don’t like the attitude of the text either, basically you’ve fixed my long standing issue, I have no use for you now. 🙄

Now we've got one who didn't even read the OP, let alone the updates.

This engineer was number 2 of 4. If he'd been competent there wouldn't have been 2 more after him. He conveniently forget to register the visit, and had no answer as to why he called. British Gas have confirmed he should not have done this. What more do you need?

profile22 · 22/03/2023 21:35

Unsolicited contact? He called her phone. That’s not a crime.

profile22 · 22/03/2023 21:38

Being a grown up and answering the phone too much to ask?

MissMissive · 22/03/2023 22:02

profile22 · 22/03/2023 21:35

Unsolicited contact? He called her phone. That’s not a crime.

Crime? That escalated quickly. No, just a common or garden creep. We’ve (women, that is) all met plenty.

MissMissive · 22/03/2023 22:03

profile22 · 22/03/2023 21:38

Being a grown up and answering the phone too much to ask?

Men really don’t like it when women don’t do as they’re told Grin

KarmaStar · 22/03/2023 22:14

Can't even see the mole hill now!😀

CountessWindyBottom · 22/03/2023 22:19

You were right to listen to your spidey senses on this. I find it deeply concerning that he had never even logged his visit to you....it is so creepy. Glad you got to the bottom of it by listening to your instincts.

Natty13 · 22/03/2023 23:11

PandaEyed13 · 22/03/2023 09:49

I do appreciate all posts, even the cruel and scathing ones have value. This became a separate issue a few pages in that I can take a lot from and use in totally separate areas.

I'm a TA at a primary and we've been having problems with the YR6 girls. They're bullying and excluding each other, they've all got phones so they're whatsapping each other to kill themselves because boy A spoke to girl B for longer than he spoke to girl C that day, or because another girl wore eyeshadow for the first time at an after school disco so 'who does she think she is,' etc etc. They're making group chat campaigns of hate against each other, making spiteful memes about each other and it spills over into school, they're fighting at breaktime and calling each other names I can't repeat. It's been going on pretty much since school year started last Sept, at least once a fortnight there's a little girl sobbing in the office. They're 10 and 11 years old, it's devastating. Every month we're having assemblies with the girls and inviting their parents in to join, to talk about how unacceptable girl-on-girl venom is. We try to get them to see that their female peers should be their allies and to support each other and back each other, 'sisters in arms' sort of thing.

This thread and parts of it is valuable in being able to demonstrate how far woman to woman ridicule, scorn and mockery can go, even in potentially dangerous circumstances. I can definitely take from this in a lot of different ways.

I think probably the mothers of some of those girls have been posting on your thread.

It's painful.

rayrayx · 22/03/2023 23:58

I dont get the drama?? Maybe he's was jusy checking all work ok, call him back and ask!

QueenCamilla · 23/03/2023 01:41

Hmm... I really doubt BG would even blink at an unexpected phone call from one of their engineers.
Also, how would he get paid if the call-out was not logged? How did he get sent out without any record? How do they know who is it if there's no log?

I was terrifyingly sexually assaulted by a guy sent to read the gas meter. The gas company were... Only bothered about the problem going away.
The company representatives were sent to my home and I had to endure a pretty humiliating questioning about whether I sent "mixed signals" or do I know the engineer "from before".
The company were even going to dispute the very fact that it was their engineer but couldn't really as the call-out was logged.
Have to say, I was surprised the whole timing and my address were logged - I thought I've let in a rapist with a fake ID but on checking with the company an engineer really was due at my house that morning.

Maybe the BG have progressed these days - from being chill about sexual assaults, to taking missed calls seriously.

I have never felt safe around any trades since. Have had some unpleasant experiences with builders... It sucks how unregulated are the industries that send men into peoples homes. I wish we could do something like "Claire's Law" before choosing a tradesperson.