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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being unreasonable ?

113 replies

LVS2627 · 20/03/2023 16:14

My partners brother and his girlfriend are getting married this summer.
My little girl is going to be flower girl.
Am I being unreasonable to feel abit miffed at the fact my parents haven't been invited to atleast their evening do?
They both know my family reasonably well as I do with my partners brothers girlfriends family- I even invited her family to my little girls 1st birthday party.
On top of this my mum will be picking my little girl up from the evening do as children aren't allowed for the eve reception. Shes going to have to travel 45 mins there and back to collect her which she doesn't mind but I just feel guilty. My future sil also had the cheek last night to say 'oh well she can come in for one drink' like she's going to want to do that when everyone's drunk and dressed up.
I think my parents would have loved to come just to see my little girl in her flower girl dress.
Maybe I'm being unreasonable?

OP posts:
FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 20/03/2023 16:16

You are.

Chocolatetadpole · 20/03/2023 16:16

I really don't understand this, my in-laws weren't invited to my brother's wedding nor were my parents invited to my brother in law's wedding. You're being very unreasonable.

DilemmaDelilah · 20/03/2023 16:17

Yep. YABVU

Haraebo · 20/03/2023 16:18

Yes, you are. If your Mother is picking your daughter up, then she will see her in the outfit.

I can understand where you are coming from but people don't have unlimited budgets for weddings.

Greensleevevssnotnose · 20/03/2023 16:18

If you were really close maybe, but your not. And the bride and groom choose the guest list

DogDream · 20/03/2023 16:18

I think my parents would have loved to come just to see my little girl in her flower girl dress.
The event isn’t for your DD to be a flower girl, the event is your BILs wedding. YABU

Squeezita · 20/03/2023 16:19

I think you’re going to get a pile on, but ignore it, as I think you already know you’re being unreasonable but you’re just sad for your parents.

At least you now know you don’t have to invite SIL to be’s parents to your events any more.

Original poster
LVS2627 · 20/03/2023 16:19

They are friends with the family....I never said they weren't close. I said they see them often.
Why is everyone so judgemental on here.

OP posts:
LadyHaHaHeeHaw · 20/03/2023 16:19

@DogDream has it 100%

Tomkirkman · 20/03/2023 16:20

You expect the Grooms Brothers girlfriends parents to be invited to a wedding.

And are pissed off that they are not?

TeaStory · 20/03/2023 16:20

You asked for judgement.

Quartz2208 · 20/03/2023 16:20

Of course you are. Weddings are expensive and to include your siblings partners family is insane. When SIL got married Dd was a flower girl it never crossed my mind my parents should be invited.

the fact that she is a flower girl and then not allowed at the evening do however is annoying! DD was allowed to stay

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 20/03/2023 16:20

Well firstly they can’t even come to the evening do if they’re having your dd because she can’t go…

but YABVU, weddings are not an unlimited budget and they can only afford to invite X people and their brothers In-laws are probably not top of the list

Ishefuckingkiddingme · 20/03/2023 16:20

Are you joking? 😂

Would you invite your brother’s wife’s parents to your wedding? I haven’t even met my brother’s fiancée’s parents. I only met my sister’s husband’s parents at their wedding. If I’d invited these people to my wedding, I’d think they’d think I’d lost the plot.

In fact, you’re very lucky your parents haven’t been invited or you’d have lost your childcare.

Original poster
LVS2627 · 20/03/2023 16:22

They know the family ! They see them at events!! I invited her family to my little girls party. Would I do that if we weren't friends with the family?
I am sad for my parents. Please don't jump down my throat.

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 20/03/2023 16:22

YABU, I don't even know what makes you think you are even slightly reasonable thinking this.

Squeezita · 20/03/2023 16:23

@LVS2627 it’s only going to get worse here. You can hide the thrad or ask MN to delete it.

Tomkirkman · 20/03/2023 16:23

LVS2627 · 20/03/2023 16:19

They are friends with the family....I never said they weren't close. I said they see them often.
Why is everyone so judgemental on here.

You said they know the reasonably well. That’s not well enough to think they are entitled to an invite.

Your mum, doesn’t need to drive 45 mins at all. She is choosing to, as a favour for you.

Besides which, if they are babysitting your child, they couldn’t go to the evening do anyway.

Ishefuckingkiddingme · 20/03/2023 16:23

LVS2627 · 20/03/2023 16:22

They know the family ! They see them at events!! I invited her family to my little girls party. Would I do that if we weren't friends with the family?
I am sad for my parents. Please don't jump down my throat.

Yet another one of these 🙄if your family were close to the bride and groom then they’d have been invited. The very fact they aren’t invited shows that they aren’t close. Why ask if you won’t accept an answer?

patrickbatemansbusinesscard · 20/03/2023 16:24

Obviously it all about your child being seen in a dress and nothing about the B&G

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 20/03/2023 16:24

But why are you sad for them!? They will see her in her dress when they pick her up plus there is cameras…you can be friendly with someone and they still don’t make the cut for the wedding. It doesn’t mean they’re unreasonable but they had to draw the line somewhere. Stop making them the bad guys

DinnerThyme · 20/03/2023 16:25

LVS2627 · 20/03/2023 16:22

They know the family ! They see them at events!! I invited her family to my little girls party. Would I do that if we weren't friends with the family?
I am sad for my parents. Please don't jump down my throat.

I’m sure your parents will get over not being invited to the wedding of people they barely know - it happens every day all over the world.

Original poster
LVS2627 · 20/03/2023 16:26

@patrickbatemansbusinesscard ....yes cos I'm am extremely selfish person like that. Don't be absolutley ridiculous!!! You have no idea about me.

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 20/03/2023 16:26

No one is jumping down your throat, surely your mother will still get to see your DD in her flower girl dress when she picks her up, if not take a picture for prosperity.

GingerBoot · 20/03/2023 16:26

In your OP you say they know them 'reasonably well' but changed that to them knowing each other well to they meet at family events. I meet a lot of my partner's (extended) family members at family events, but wouldn't feel I had to invite them all to a wedding.
And as someone else said, your parents are travelling 45 minutes to pick up DC as she's not invited to evening reception. Who would you ask/expect to do this 45 minute journey if your parents were invited?