Am I being unreasonable ?

[LVS2627]

My partners brother and his girlfriend are getting married this summer.
My little girl is going to be flower girl.
Am I being unreasonable to feel abit miffed at the fact my parents haven't been invited to atleast their evening do?
They both know my family reasonably well as I do with my partners brothers girlfriends family- I even invited her family to my little girls 1st birthday party.
On top of this my mum will be picking my little girl up from the evening do as children aren't allowed for the eve reception. Shes going to have to travel 45 mins there and back to collect her which she doesn't mind but I just feel guilty. My future sil also had the cheek last night to say 'oh well she can come in for one drink' like she's going to want to do that when everyone's drunk and dressed up.
I think my parents would have loved to come just to see my little girl in her flower girl dress.
Maybe I'm being unreasonable?

That's lovely that you invited her family to your little girls birthday party.

But surely you can see there is a difference between a birthday party and a wedding?

Bride and Grooms have to really restrict who they can invite. The costs for weddings are ridiculous. I'm afraid your parents didn't make the list.

Take lots of pictures of your little girl in her dress and I'm sure your parents will love it.

I had to read your post three times as I initially thought you meant your parents to your brother's wedding.

To expect your partner's sibling to invite them to their wedding is frankly bonkers.

*prosterity 🙄

You’re being unreasonable. It would be odd to invite them!

Groom's neice's grandparents, or groom's girlfriend's parents (if DD isn't your DP's daughter). Either way that's a bit beyond the level of wedding invitation.

I'm sure there will be other things your DD will attend that they won't be able to see her either. That's just life. And there will be plenty of things they will see her.

Of course you are being unreasonable

Once for expecting your partners brother to invite your parents to his wedding

• And secondly for your terrible thread title *

YABVU
It never even occurred to me that my parents should be invited to DP's sister's wedding, that is just not how these things work.

I think the bride and groom are entitled to choose their guest list.

If they invite your parents then how far does that extend? If I had to invite the parents of all our siblings' in-laws to our wedding that would have been an extra 10 guests. That's crazy to me.

Perhaps they think they're doing you a favour to not invite your parents so they can do the babysitting for you.

Your parents will miss out on things. They can’t go to everything. That’s life. They don’t get an automatic invite to anything your dd attends. What will you do if school plays are one/two tickets per child, when your child starts school?

But also, someone won’t invite someone to their wedding on the basis ‘well we aren’t that close, but they must be invited to see niece be a flower girl’

There will be photos.

I dont think anyone is jumping down your throat, you asked if you were being unreasonable, the answer is pretty much yes.
Trying to justify that you are not being unreasonable is pointless when you asked the question really.

@LVS2627 - I don’t think it is unreasonable not to invite the flower girl’s grandparents. Logically and logistically you invite her parents, but that’s it, I’m afraid.

Yes you are. Not your business who they do and don’t invite. And I don’t understand why you want them invited when they’re babysitting?

You are asking people to judge so don't get arsey when you don't get the answer you want.

My parents went to the church when their grandchild was part of a wedding. I was at the wedding (but not my child that was involved) and think my sibling cleared my parents being at the church with B+G.
That might be the answer if venue is publicly accessible

It's great that they get on but they're obviously allowed to decide their own guest list. When I was very young my Dad's mum was super close to My mums mum. When I was a flowegirl for my mums brother she popped by the church with a camera, my dad even took a picture of her just outside the church wall throwing confetti and chatting with my other gran. There's no way anyone thought she 'ought' to have been at the reception. There are always limits!

Who invites their in-laws in-laws to a 1 year olds birthday party?

i would find it very weird for my brother’s wife to expect me to invite her parents to anything to do with my immediate family. Sure, I’ve met her, but not someone I’d invite. And I’d for sure wouldn’t invite SIL’s partner’s parents.

It’s great they all know each other and get along but that doesn’t mean they would make the cut for the guest list. Everyone knows numbers are difficult for weddings and you can’t invite everyone you know.

(I think she slipped into church to have a good nose from the back but very much discreetly behind the pillar sort of thing) my uncle and aunt were flattered, never thought it implied they should have invited her.

Why is everyone so judgemental? Well because you asked them to judge whether you're being unreasonable. You're not unreasonable to be disappointed but you are being unreasonable to expect. It's not just about the relationship your parents have with the couple it's about what other relationships they have that a more significant. Who do propose they cross of their guest list? If your parents come to the evening do who would look after your daughter? Maybe the evening do is gonna be a raucous party not considered a 'middle age' or child friendly event. Think D&B 😜

@Lifeisdinky this is a very good point. Why can't OP's parents make a day out of it? Travel the 45 minutes to watch their granddaughter be flower girl, take photos etc, then go have a nice meal and walk around local area until its time to go pick up GD and then gave a lovely drive home and evening together discussing what a wonderful day they've all had? Sounds perfect to me

Yes you are..

Plus you say they are your childcare as no children are allowed to the evening party so you'd have to to find more childcare and ask someone else to travel to collect her.

As tenuous reasons for an invitation go, expecting an invitation to your daughter's boyfriend's brother's wedding because your granddaughter is a flower girl is up there with the best of them.

For that reason I don't think your parents would actually be upset at not being invited, or even expected an invitation...this sounds an awful lot like you wanting your daughter to be the most special part of the day and having the adoring attention of extra grandparents.

People aren't being horrible, you're being entitled. If this thread doesn't disappear in a puff of smoke because of '"privacy" I'll be amazed!

YABU - there's no need for them to be there, they're not direct family of the B&G and tbh if they wanted them there and actually knew them well they'd have got an invite. Just because you invited wider family to a birthday party doesn't mean they need to invite wider family to their wedding.

I'm sure there will be lots of lovely professional photos of your DC in their dress and you can share those with your parents after the wedding 😊