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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think everyone needs to chill the heck out about Mother’s Day?

103 replies

Rainallnight · 20/03/2023 14:15

Not everyone, maybe, but all the women who think it’s basically they’re birthday and feel horribly let down if anything bad happens?

I mean, obviously DP/Hs shouldn’t be dicks. But beyond that… Relax!

OP posts:
JaneFondue · 20/03/2023 14:18

We don't do it. Not part of our culture really. Yesterday passed unnoticed. My birthday was recently, and I had enough fuss then.

x2boys · 20/03/2023 14:19

It's the same every year loads of threads with people moaning ,be greatful for what you have ,I didn't get any presents or card,but my oldest son was discharged from hospital on Friday after four weeks ,three of which were spent in critical care,so frankly we have have more important things to.worry about

Shoxfordian · 20/03/2023 14:20

Yabu; nothing wrong with expecting some effort from your partner or husband - so many shit men

ShirleyPhallus · 20/03/2023 14:21

It’s not about Mother’s Day though is it. It’s about inconsiderate partners who don’t value the mother enough all throughout the year then show them they really don’t give a shit on Mother’s Day

plenty of people get almost nothing (Ie a card) for Mother’s Day but then have lovely appreciative partners the rest of the year so don’t really care

x2boys · 20/03/2023 14:21

Shoxfordian · 20/03/2023 14:20

Yabu; nothing wrong with expecting some effort from your partner or husband - so many shit men

Why, they are not your kids 🙄

BasiliskStare · 20/03/2023 14:21

I like to get a card - not fussed about flowers & certainly I think ( my own opinion only ) presents are OTT . But I know I have forgotten Mother's Day for my own mother in the past so she was happy with a phone call and a chat. I do remember now but it is cards in the main. Sending flowers is so expensive. ( she does not live just around the corner ) & yes it is not my birthday. 😊

JaneFondue · 20/03/2023 14:21

We don't do anything for Father's Day either. I often find these big days disappointing.

RoseBucket · 20/03/2023 14:22

It’s not up to you to Police how others feel.

Moredarkchocolateplease · 20/03/2023 14:22

Agree. I don't do birthdays either. Not necessary.

Hydrangeatea · 20/03/2023 14:23

I couldn't agree more. Such a load of angst and disappointment....

Utterly bizarre

Goodread1 · 20/03/2023 14:23

L.o.l I know you mean 😄

It's getting ridiculous,
If someone husband or partner is an inconsiderate twat 🙄 for most of time/year,

Why would he be any different/better just cause its mother's day, !

And if he was any different/better just for mothers day,
He would only be like this cause he is a manipulative inconsiderate Twat, or Arsehole, !

It's a simple as that .!

There is no grey areas /grey shades on that spectrum !!!

x2boys · 20/03/2023 14:24

RoseBucket · 20/03/2023 14:22

It’s not up to you to Police how others feel.

Did you are how many moaning threads there were?

Goodread1 · 20/03/2023 14:24

Oops typo mistake, I ment to say I know what you mean@Rainallnight

VioletaDelValle · 20/03/2023 14:28

Why, they are not your kids 🙄

Sigh.....so predictable.

If your kids are young then it is your DH/DP's responsibility to facilitate them in acknowledging special occasions.
Anything else is just shit.

gannett · 20/03/2023 14:31

I suspect most of the threads along these lines are from women in relationships where they don't feel appreciated at all on any day.

If you feel loved, cherished and appreciated all the time then the importance of one made-up Hallmark day diminishes. If you know deep down your partner thinks you're special, and if he shows it all year round, things like Valentine's Day and Mother's Day and even your birthday just don't matter as much. Nice if you want to do that sort of thing but it's just not a litmus test for your relationship. It is a bit weird to pin all your hopes and dreams of feeling loved on one day out of 365 when ideally you'd feel loved all the time.

The thing I don't get is the fixation on one particular date. There are a few threads where posters are squabbling (especially with MILs) over that one date in the calendar. As adults surely it's not beyond us to celebrate the following weekend, if the diary's full for that one?

Arapawa · 20/03/2023 14:32

It's like dealing with a teenage girl and her first crush. I feel quite sad in this day that grown women act so pathetically.

Some of these women seem to think that even although their partner and children are lovely and kind and selfless all year round, they become monsters if they don't buy in to the "mothers day" guff.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 20/03/2023 14:32

Like I said on another thread it doesn't help posters on here whipping up a froth fest among themselves whilst having a race to the bottom of how shit their day was. It really is stupid.

Yesterday I woke up cracked on with sunday dinner whilst most my kids were in bed, at about 11.30 I got a text from DS1 'Happy Mothers day' Midday my DD came in from work made food then went to her room remembering half way up the stairs and shouting 'Happy Mother Day btw'. Around 1pm my Youngest gets up come in kitchen gives me a fist bump and says wtf you doing, its mothers day do your motherly duties and make my breakfast. We laughed I got on with my day never thought anything more about it.

The expectations of some people wanting to be put on a pedestal, showered with cards, flowers, gifts, chocolates, taken out for a meal, brought breakfast in bed is astonishing to me, I honestly blame SM and the instagrammers constantly trying to one up each other and making normal folk feel shit when they dont need to.

RoseBucket · 20/03/2023 14:33

@x2boys yes and how ironic this adds to it.

Sartre · 20/03/2023 14:33

I think Mothers Day is a nice gesture to thank your Mum for everything she’s done for you, the sacrifices she has made. Obviously not everyone has a great Mum so fine but if you do, you should use it as a good way to show some gratitude. If your DC are young the gratitude should come from your OH on their behalf.

I can understand why a woman who doesn’t even receive a card from her children feels disappointed and upset. Women go through a lot to bring a child into the world, the least they could do is buy her a card!

ZeroFuchsGiven · 20/03/2023 14:34

It is the same every year on MN and it gets worse every year.

Wiccan · 20/03/2023 14:34

Me & DH have always hated mother/Father's Day and told our Daughters to please not bother. it took a little while as I suppose they thought they should as it's every where . It's amazing how many people judge us for it .

Iquitforevermore · 20/03/2023 14:34

*'VioletaDelValle · Today 14:28

Why, they are not your kids 🙄

Sigh.....so predictable.

If your kids are young then it is your DH/DP's responsibility to facilitate them in acknowledging special occasions.
Anything else is just shit.'*

Exactly this ^ and the day is meant to celebrate all Mothers, not just your own. All of the dh's that do nothing forget their wives/gfs are the mothers of their dc. I wish all my female relatives and friends happy mothers day. It is a day of appreciation.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 20/03/2023 14:35

Wiccan · 20/03/2023 14:34

Me & DH have always hated mother/Father's Day and told our Daughters to please not bother. it took a little while as I suppose they thought they should as it's every where . It's amazing how many people judge us for it .

I dont! It is commercialised nonsense

Aftjbtibg · 20/03/2023 14:36

It’s really sad when people get nothing but I’m confused by threads where people say they got a nice gift and card but apart from that it was a normal day where they did laundry etc and they aren’t happy. I’m not sure if people expect to not have to lift a finger or what they hope for.

Iquitforevermore · 20/03/2023 14:37

*'ZeroFuchsGiven · Today 14:35

Wiccan · Today 14:34

Me & DH have always hated mother/Father's Day and told our Daughters to please not bother. it took a little while as I suppose they thought they should as it's every where . It's amazing how many people judge us for it .

I dont! It is commercialised nonsense.'*.

Do you also abandon anniversaries, Christmas, Easter, birthdays etc too? You could argue they are all commercialised these days too.