To think everyone needs to chill the heck out about Mother’s Day?

[Rainallnight]

Not everyone, maybe, but all the women who think it’s basically they’re birthday and feel horribly let down if anything bad happens?

I mean, obviously DP/Hs shouldn’t be dicks. But beyond that… Relax!

This. It’s not about expensive gifts, or jewellery. Most of the threads I read were from women who were upset and disappointed either because children who were old enough to know what Mothers Day is about, forgot/couldn’t be arsed, or because in the case of very young children, their partner couldn’t be arsed to facilitate it. Either way it’s shit.

Sounds utterly joyless !!

YANBU. I can't see the point of Mother's Day, Father's Day or Valentine's Day and TBH I would make a lot less fuss over Christmas and birthdays than some people do, left to my own devices, but my family enjoy them so I go along with it. But then we are all quite loving and considerate to each other all the year round in our house.

Yes, we abandoned anniversaries, xmas, easter - long time ago. All so fake. We do give each other a birthday present, although we both feel we have all we need - so sometimes it's just going out for a meal, sometimes it's a box of chocolates - it's really not a big deal. (We also go out for meals v regularly and buy chocolates almost weekly in our online shopping...so really no big deal)

Aw, that sounds more like it. Lovely.

My point was how far back the tradition went, but I agree. During the 16th century, people in the UK used to return on the 4th Sunday in Lent for a service to their ‘mother church’ which was either the church where you were baptised, or the local parish church. Later on it became a day when domestic servants were given a day off to visit their mother church, usually with their own mothers and other family members, who would pick wild flowers along the way to place in the church or give to their mothers. Eventually, the religious tradition morphed into the tradition we have now, of giving gifts to mothers. IMHO it’s far more than just the ‘Hallmark’ holiday some think it to be.

What joyless because you say so ! . We all work fucking hard and have very little time off so we don't make demands on eachother but we all know how much we love eachother . life gets in the way sometimes weird that eh ?

But then we are all quite loving and considerate to each other all the year round in our house.

And I think that’s the point isn’t it ? If you feel secure and loved, and have a considerate family the rest of the year then it’s just one more day. But for those who don’t, it just highlights how insignificant they feel.

It's just one big pity party , as always.
The solution is simple, buy yourself something.

Where I do sympathise is on marketing emails. These should be opt in for Mother’s Day and some other events.

I said it sounds joyless. Obviously works for you.

I don’t think we only started acknowledging it because of instagram, but I think we only started getting so worked up about it because of social media. The unrealistic expectations pushed out there by so called content creators who probably bought all that crap for themselves, the gloaty posts from those who “did well”

my FB has been flooded with pictures of immaculately made-up women in a restaurant with fancy gifts, hashtag "perfect mothers day" etc.
Ugh. I don't want perfect. For Mother's Day I got a handdrawn card of "a terrifying dinosaur eating meat", a jar of jam and some hot chocolate powder that my little DD chose from the farm shop. I bloody loved it.

Love it. Perfect. xx

We drove to a beach to walk the dog and even the hood up teenager came.Some bars of Green & Blacks and a bunch of flowers, big hugs and I cooked a Sunday lunch. Fabulous

I noticed this year that Next and M&S, along with a few others, had buttons in their Mothers’ Day emails where you can opt out of any further contact. I like your ‘opt in’ suggestion better. How hard could it be to include this on company websites so people could choose for themselves who they want to be contacted by and for what occasion ?

Mothers’ day has been a ‘thing’ for as long as I can remember - well before social media. I remember the days when there would be flower arrangements in florists, and advertising and gift suggestions in shop/store windows and in magazines. I do agree with you though - social media has pushed the boundaries of expectation exponentially and imposed a hierarchy of who got what and how much it cost. Whatever happened to a bunch of daffs and a home made card ?

No it isn't joyless , if we can meet up we do but we don't put expectations on eachother and everyone is more relaxed because of it .

Phos, you do realise not everyone in the world does Instagram?

Not really. When you’re surrounded by uncaring, self centred twats who don’t get that the expectation is not an expensive gift, but just the fact that you remembered, buying it yourself doesn’t fill the void.

Tbh a lot of the problems boil down to Social Media.

Lazy arse partners or no, the whole silly 'expectation' industry on Instagram etc just fuels insecurity. Comparison is the thief of joy. etc.

@PurpleAirGuitar we don't celebrate them either. We restrict family Christmas presents to children only so a lot less stress. We're all fine with that and certainly no feeling that anybody is missing out. I don't even think mine were aware of what day it was yesterday 😂!

Stay off social media and buy yourself something nice if you want it. Appreciate what you have already. Pretty basic rules for life, not just Mother’s Day.

That sounds like a sweet deal 🙂

@Snowpaw now that sounds lovely!!

I would much prefer a truly sincere simple text message or card compared to a totally insincere slap up meal and showy gifts. I noted on Facebook that three acquaintances took their Mums out for posh afternoon teas and expensive gifts and flowers. Everyone dressed up to the nines and smiling fixedly at the camera. Lots of #mymothermybestfriend and #perfectday. It's all absolute nonsense because I know they cannot stand their Mums and bitterly slag them off all the time.

Well then wait until they are old enough to do something.

It is literally as easy as that. My husband has always bought something for his mother and I have had something from our children when they are old enough to make a card at school or do something for themselves.

I have never expected my husband to buy a card for me on behalf of our children.