Page 2 | To think everyone needs to chill the heck out about Mother’s Day?

Wiccan · 20/03/2023 14:38

ZeroFuchsGiven · 20/03/2023 14:35

I dont! It is commercialised nonsense

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👍

loislovesstewie · 20/03/2023 14:50

I'm not saying this for effect, but my youngest seriously self harmed recently. The best present I have is that he is with me. Just that really.

x2boys · 20/03/2023 14:53

loislovesstewie · 20/03/2023 14:50

I'm not saying this for effect, but my youngest seriously self harmed recently. The best present I have is that he is with me. Just that really.

Same ,my 16 year old has a life threatening illness four weeks ago ,he was discharged from hospital on Friday ,him being home and on the way to recovery is the best mothers day gift.

whattodo1975 · 20/03/2023 14:55

Alright mate, chill out its not our fault your wife is in a huff with you.

Phos · 20/03/2023 14:57

Social media. People feel like they need to have the perfect instagrammable Mother's Day.

memesndmoreme · 20/03/2023 14:57

x2boys · 20/03/2023 14:21

Why, they are not your kids 🙄

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Because sometimes the the kids are too young to do anything.....

AliasGrape · 20/03/2023 15:00

I’m more baffled by the people who act like it is a brand new invention. I’m not sure why we need 25 threads bemoaning what commercialised social-media driven nonsense it is, or snotty replies on every other thread implying that unless you’re a domestic servant returning to their mother church on their one day off other than Christmas you are beneath contempt for expecting some small acknowledgment of the day.

I’m in my 40s, Mother’s Day was very much a thing when I was young, way before social media. Breakfast in bed, a card and a small token gift were given, and we usually visited grandparents. This was very much the norm amongst everyone. The narrative was also very much around your mum putting her feet up and not having to do anything that day - whether or not that actually happened was a different matter but it certainly isn’t a new notion.

If you don’t celebrate, don’t see the relevance or don’t like cards/ flowers/ visits to your parents or from your children then by all means opt out. It’s not compulsory.

But the idea that we all only started acknowledging Mother’s Day because of Instagram is nonsense.

Yes some people’s expectations are OTT. That’s their issue and up to them to negotiate with their partners/ kids as to whether they will get what they want or be disappointed. But it’s ok if the day means something to you, and totally ok if you’d like it acknowledged- you’re not some insane drama queen in thrall to influencers because you think it would be nice if someone recognised all you do for them/ your shared children and maybe brought you a cup of tea in bed whilst they were at it.

HistoryOrHistrionics · 20/03/2023 15:01

It's a funny one because the day seesm to change it's meaning every so often.

It starts by being a day to celebration the mother of the church.
It then becomes a day to celebrate your mum.
Then becomes a day partners are meant to celebrate the mother of their children.
Then becomes a day to celebrate all mothers.

It's hard to keep up, to be fair

PrinnyPree · 20/03/2023 15:03

Yeah I agree, i have a 2 year old, cup of tea and toast in bed, card and flowers, did a take away for tea. Easy and no fuss.

Can't believe some people expect jewelery etc, it's supposed to be from your children, a token of appreciation not lavish gifts from your partner. (Agree they should fascilitate a lie in and you get a chore free day though if your kids aren't old enough)

I do however empathise with alot of Mums that are totally unappreciated (or even abused) and Mothers day brings that into focus. Xx

CoalCraft · 20/03/2023 15:04

Not a thing in our household I'm happy to say. I get my mum a card because she'd be sad if I didn't but I'm gonna make it very clear to my kids (who are currently tiny) that I don't want them wasting their money on that sort of nonsense. Same for father's Day. DH and I don't do anything for each other on it either.

AliasGrape · 20/03/2023 15:07

Can't believe some people expect jewelery

I haven’t seen anyone upset they didn’t get jewellery - people upset there was no card/ no acknowledgment at all, but I genuinely haven’t seen anyone upset their gifts weren’t expensive enough or they didn’t get showered with none stop gifts and accolades all day. I’m not saying such threads don’t exist, but if so I’m sure the OP’s will have had their arses thoroughly handed to them already, since anyone upset they’ve not had so much as a card/ phone call is basically told they’re pathetic anyway.

Wolfiefan · 20/03/2023 15:07

Totally and utterly agree with Lois. (Sending best wishes to you and your DC.)
When my son was a toddler we spent a year worrying that his health condition could kill him. On Mother’s Day he texted me from Uni. Bloody priceless!
I also had MC and MMC. So frankly the fact I could have two children feels pretty bloody fantastic.

Pixiedust1234 · 20/03/2023 15:07

Rainallnight · 20/03/2023 14:15

Not everyone, maybe, but all the women who think it’s basically they’re birthday and feel horribly let down if anything bad happens?

I mean, obviously DP/Hs shouldn’t be dicks. But beyond that… Relax!

Who are you to tell others how they should or should not feel? Please list one or more credentials on why we need to obey your command. Thanks!

PS until the owner of Mumsnet says women cannot post on this subject then I suggest you relax and chill the heck out yourself and either hide threads or scroll past 😉

DappledThings · 20/03/2023 15:12

Some of these women seem to think that even although their partner and children are lovely and kind and selfless all year round, they become monsters if they don't buy in to the "mothers day" guff.
I think it's the opposite. The women who have lovely supportive partners who do all their fair share of chores and childcare year round aren't bothered by it and don't want or expect a lot of fuss. It's the ones with shit partners who seem a) surprised that their shit partner remains shit on MD and seem to be happy with doing 95% of the work 364 days a year if they get taken out to lunch and bought a present on MD. Which is shit all round!

snowmanshoes · 20/03/2023 15:18

I think it’s about the thought and acknowledgement though isn’t it? We don’t make a big deal but my dd who is working for the first Mother’s Day said she felt happy to buy me a little something with her own ‘hard earned’ money and I got to choose the takeaway 😁

snowmanshoes · 20/03/2023 15:20

It’s the equivalent for us Father’s Day though too!

Herbiebanannas · 20/03/2023 15:22

Maybe all the moaners should stop and think about the people who desperately want to be mums and can”t.

It’s all a bit pathetic really. Grown women getting marsh because a day that only exists to seek stuff didn’t go quite as they had hoped.

ItsCalledAConversation · 20/03/2023 15:26

It’s funny because I don’t mind not getting much more than a cuddle and a card from my DCs (DH didn’t help them much this year) but I do find it hard/sad scrolling through social media today and seeing everyone’s daffodil-fuelled love-ins with their “legendary” mothers.

Wolfiefan · 20/03/2023 15:27

TBH it’s probably a day to stay away from social media! A bit like the Christmas posts about being #soblessed and all that shit!

jays · 20/03/2023 15:27

AliasGrape · 20/03/2023 15:00

I’m more baffled by the people who act like it is a brand new invention. I’m not sure why we need 25 threads bemoaning what commercialised social-media driven nonsense it is, or snotty replies on every other thread implying that unless you’re a domestic servant returning to their mother church on their one day off other than Christmas you are beneath contempt for expecting some small acknowledgment of the day.

I’m in my 40s, Mother’s Day was very much a thing when I was young, way before social media. Breakfast in bed, a card and a small token gift were given, and we usually visited grandparents. This was very much the norm amongst everyone. The narrative was also very much around your mum putting her feet up and not having to do anything that day - whether or not that actually happened was a different matter but it certainly isn’t a new notion.

If you don’t celebrate, don’t see the relevance or don’t like cards/ flowers/ visits to your parents or from your children then by all means opt out. It’s not compulsory.

But the idea that we all only started acknowledging Mother’s Day because of Instagram is nonsense.

Yes some people’s expectations are OTT. That’s their issue and up to them to negotiate with their partners/ kids as to whether they will get what they want or be disappointed. But it’s ok if the day means something to you, and totally ok if you’d like it acknowledged- you’re not some insane drama queen in thrall to influencers because you think it would be nice if someone recognised all you do for them/ your shared children and maybe brought you a cup of tea in bed whilst they were at it.

Very well said, totally agree with you. Was making my mum breakfast in bed and giving her a card and a gift 40 odd years ago, it not new.

jays · 20/03/2023 15:29

Herbiebanannas · 20/03/2023 15:22

Maybe all the moaners should stop and think about the people who desperately want to be mums and can”t.

It’s all a bit pathetic really. Grown women getting marsh because a day that only exists to seek stuff didn’t go quite as they had hoped.

Can can feel disappointment for yourself AND feel empathy towards others. They’re not mutually exclusive.

Zebedee55 · 20/03/2023 15:34

I'm happy with just a card. Always was, as I find the whole thing commercialised and underwhelming.

My kids are middle aged now, and usually buy me flowers, a bottle of wine and a card. All good, as we have a great relationship the rest of the time and I don't want all the faff.

I don't understand why some women seem to think their spouses/partners should do things though.🤔

Why? You're not their mother, and until the kids are old enough to make/buy a card, it's meaningless.🙄

Years ago, it was a simple bunch of cheap daffodils and a card at best.

TiedUpWithABlackVelvetBand · 20/03/2023 15:38

What does it matter to you, OP?

Why do you care if other people care? How does it affect you?

This thread is a martyrish race to the bottom.

Well, I was down the mine on Mother’s Day, scrubbing soot and cooking everyone a Sunday roast while they all put their feet up. I am considerably holier and more pious than any of you. 🙄

DH makes an effort all year round, and on Mother’s Day, he’s always facilitated my kids and given me a lovely day. Thoughtful gifts and a nice lunch or dinner out. I feel well and truly acknowledged and appreciated. I do the same for Father’s Day - even though I/we appreciate him all year round, it’s nice to really show that on one particular day.

So I absolutely understand why some people might feel aggrieved if they have a family who doesn’t seem to give a tiny shit about them.

You know - it is actually OK to feel unhappy about that.

Just get on with your day OP, smug in the knowledge that you’re so superior to the unhappy people.

AliasGrape · 20/03/2023 15:40

Herbiebanannas · 20/03/2023 15:22

Maybe all the moaners should stop and think about the people who desperately want to be mums and can”t.

It’s all a bit pathetic really. Grown women getting marsh because a day that only exists to seek stuff didn’t go quite as they had hoped.

I was the woman desperate to be a mum for years and years, I didn’t successfully conceive till 40 (and know how lucky that makes me that I finally got there). I have also lost both my biological mum and ‘adopted’ mum who brought me up.

Mother’s Day was a really shit day for years. It’s still sad and hard.

But I don’t agree it’s a day that only exists to ‘seek stuff’. It’s a day to acknowledge and thank your mum (and long has been no matter what people say here) - and I really don’t think any mother is terrible for feeling like that acknowledgement is important or matters to them. If their expectations are out of whack that’s an issue, but it’s not wrong to want to feel special occasionally.

jays · 20/03/2023 15:44

I genuinely didn’t see one post yesterday about Mother’s Day where the OP wanted anything more that the most basic decency. I don’t see to be seeing these posts where people are complaining because they didn’t get a necklace etc. I felt with every post I read yesterday the OP was quite right to feel upset.