To think everyone needs to chill the heck out about Mother’s Day?

[Rainallnight]

Not everyone, maybe, but all the women who think it’s basically they’re birthday and feel horribly let down if anything bad happens?

I mean, obviously DP/Hs shouldn’t be dicks. But beyond that… Relax!

Agree.

I loved the little hand-made cards my DCs used to make for me and the special little crafts lovingly put together in school. All that glue and glitter

They get a little token gift for me these days - flowers, chocolate, a breakfast made and cleared up.

I hate crowded brunch places and all the rest of the fuss. Appreciate there are some who like it, but I don't like tokenism.

I think in a lot of ways media/social media have a lot to answer to with their portrayal of things and the picture perfect day.

ds is autistic and can’t cope with things like Mother’s Day so we just treat it like any other day - as he says “I love you every day so why would I need a special day to tell you” he let me take him train spotting yesterday and him having fun was lovely!

Yup. My daughter was with my mother and I spent 3 hours at the gym. Result!

Agree with AliasGrape
It's not a new invention or a Hallmark holiday.

Mothering Sunday is a traditionally observed feast that used to involve veneration of Mary. It has evolved, obviously, but it has deep religious roots in the UK and Ireland, and possibly elsewhere in Europe.

The US celebrates Mothers' Day in May, at a remove from the religiously inspired day in the UK and Ireland. You still find a blessing of mothers in churches.

Such bizarre accusation that people only want stuff for “instagram”. Barely anyone I know posts a spread of stuff they got on Instagram, they just want the respect of their partner surely

I agree that DH/DPs should support younger children.

Once a child has got to school age they can find a piece of paper and a crayon and make a card and give you a hug. That doesn't need any "facilitating".

I've watched with astonishment over the last few weeks at the number of threads describing overbearing mothers and MIL's demanding audiences with their children, grand kids etc , no matter what the traveling distance or logistics are.

All I can assume is that this is their normally behaviour, and there are a lot of attention seeking, manipulative matriarchs out there .

So sad really, I'm glad my mum doesn't demand such attention on this made up nonsense of a day , and is happy with a card and a bunch of flowers and the day to day consideration on the other 364 days of the year and

I feel like this about Mother's Day- I also feel the same about birthdays and the expectation of it being made a massive fuss over once you are over about 11. I guess part of it is what you grow up with. My parents never made a big thing of birthdays or Mother's Day etc so I guess it's what I was used to

Even my work gets us chocolates for Mother's Day. Blokes also get them for Father's Day.

It's just a way of showing someone that they are valued.

DS is only 6 and funnily enough can't get to the shop to buy in arts and crafts things to make a card or buy some flowers, so DH takes him.

Agree. Another excuse for spoilt entitled young women to try and get one over on their MIL.

“I’m in my 40s, Mother’s Day was very much a thing when I was young, way before social media. Breakfast in bed, a card and a small token gift were given, and we usually visited grandparents. This was very much the norm amongst everyone. The narrative was also very much around your mum putting her feet up and not having to do anything that day - whether or not that actually happened was a different matter but it certainly isn’t a new notion.”

Exactly! Same for me in my 50s. It was never just a ‘Hallmark day’ - it was traditional.

Mum acknowledged. Granny acknowledged. Doesn’t have to be an expensive affair - even a small token of thanks and appreciation with a home made card and a £1 bunch of daffs is fine.

I think a lot of women shrug it off because they are trying to save face rather than admit that their men are selfish dicks who won’t facilitate for little ones or their (grown) children are.

I think I do understand why other women get so upset. They have certain expectations and a husband / family that don’t appreciate them all year and then it feels like it comes to a head on Mother’s Day.

We don’t much bother in my house, and I’m not arsed. My husband is pretty good all year though. Can’t complain. If he took me for granted, I might feel like MD was more important too.

Most definitely. It was only by chance that one of our DCs was home yesterday and they cooked me a nice meal. Otherwise it would probably have just been a sweet WhatsApp message and that's perfectly fine by me. Our daughter's uni flatmate had to make a gruelling 400 mile round trip via train and bus because her Mum ordered her home for Mother's Day, and cried down the phone to her poor DD.

No, they’re not your kids, but they’re your kids’ dad, and they should be teaching them that mothers’ day is one day in the year to show appreciation for the million and one things that mum does. I suspect most mums would be happy with just a card and a bar of chocolate or petrol station flowers if they knew that DH had taken the time and been considerate enough to make sure that the kids showed their appreciation. Your attitude just perpetuates women having no expectation of appreciation of any kind. Even for just the one day in the year set aside for that and well publicised ? Really ?

And similarly, another excuse for overbearing and attention seeking MILs to get one over on the rest of their family.

We spend Christmas by ourselves all low key ,family members spend it in their own homes .don't bother with valentine's day , we cook a meal for just us for our anniversary no one else is married in our family , we don't celebrate Easter and hallmark doesn't know when me and my DH birthdays are so it's irrelevant !

Also in my 40s. My mother didn’t do parenting so there wasn’t that much for her to put her feet up from……..

My only grandmother lived 300 miles away.

They both got cards and a token bunch of flowers or box of chocolates but no singing all dancing “you’re so wonderful” experiences from me or my sister because neither of them was around!

Jesus. Bitter much?

We celebrate birthdays. Xmas isn’t really a thing for us and we don’t do anything for Easter. Recognise big anniversaries a bit (usually by timing a holiday for then). My family get cards for their birthdays. DH doesn’t bother sending for his side.

Agreed. I had similar appreciative demonstrations from my DC, including one who's on a gap year so sent me a Snapchat the night before as it was already Mother's Day where she is. It said "Happy Mother's Day, mummy dearest, please could you send me £50?"

I think some people actually enjoy setting themselves up for disappointment so they can revel in it.

I agree with the sentiment op but, to be fair, most threads I saw about Mother's Day disappointment weren't really about Mother's Day.

They were about women who feel unsupported and unappreciated by their partner or about weird dynamics with other relatives.

I didn't see a single thread by someone expecting an expensive gift.

Do you feel the same way about Fathers’ day OP ? Because Mother's Day in the UK has its origins in the 16th century custom of 'Mothering Sunday', which fell on the fourth Sunday of Lent. So a very long established tradition to celebrate motherhood and honour the ‘matriarch’ of the family. Fathers’ day, however, was ‘invented’ in the USA in 1908 and the UK started celebrating Father's Day after President Richard Nixon officially signed the day into law in the United States in 1972.

I do remember one childhood Mother's Day when my Granny appeared after lunch, saying it was her special day and crying that nobody had made enough of an effort because all she had received from my dad that morning was a card and a bunch of flowers. We all thought she was completely batshit.

@Rosscameasdoody

Mothering Sunday was about honouring the church you were baptised in, not your mother.

my FB has been flooded with pictures of immaculately made-up women in a restaurant with fancy gifts, hashtag "perfect mothers day" etc.
Ugh. I don't want perfect. For Mother's Day I got a handdrawn card of "a terrifying dinosaur eating meat", a jar of jam and some hot chocolate powder that my little DD chose from the farm shop. I bloody loved it.