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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to pay partner’s gym membership?

81 replies

Pegasus41 · 20/03/2023 08:34

I took my DP and his son to David Lloyd as guests the other day. He loved it and wanted me to add him as a linked member and said he would pay the difference. However it ended up being more than David Lloyd initially quoted due to a mistake. He then said he wanted to cancel his membership. But then I asked him to help me return some parcels — I’m a lone parent with two young kids - and he said he’d do all errands like this for me if I bought him one item of clothing per month. I said how about I just keep you on my David Lloyd membership? For context I currently have more disposable income than him. And as a lone parent (my kids’ Dad died) find it really hard to keep up with errands with work and my kids. But I regret getting into something transactional like this with him.

OP posts:

MyBack · 20/03/2023 08:36

Wtf, he’ll help you out if you buy him new clothes every month? Is he 12 years old?

Tell him to fuck off, you’re not buying him clothes or paying for his gym membership!! Jesus

CountZacular · 20/03/2023 08:37

Forget the gym for a second - he’ll only help you out with returns if you essentially pay him? That’s not a partnership.

Don’t pay for his membership. Cancel it if you can and let him sort himself out.

Dinersaur · 20/03/2023 08:38

I said YABU. YABU to be with him. Expecting payment for helping you? No. Not a man i would be with.

Findyourneutralspace · 20/03/2023 08:39

That’s a really odd attitude. I get it sometimes from my teens. I wouldn’t expect it from a partner.

ChiefPearlClutcher · 20/03/2023 08:39

How does your vagina not slam shut like a clamshell after conversations like this??This is not a relationship.

fruitbrewhaha · 20/03/2023 08:39

It’s a it weird. Do you live together? Why wouldn’t he help you out just to do you a favour?
Cancel the membership.

Coffeeandchocs · 20/03/2023 08:39

He wants you to pay him in clothes for running errands?! Of all the things I’ve read on here about terrible partners that is up there with one of the worst!
I think you need to have a serious rethink about whether you want someone like this in yours and your children’s lives.

Tealsofa · 20/03/2023 08:41

ChiefPearlClutcher · 20/03/2023 08:39

How does your vagina not slam shut like a clamshell after conversations like this??This is not a relationship.

Exactly

How unattractive

Yesthatismychildsigh · 20/03/2023 08:41

Is this actually a relationship? It sounds awful.

OrigamiOwls · 20/03/2023 08:42

He'll only help you out of you pay him? This isn't a relationship, it's a series of transactions.

Waitingforsummer75 · 20/03/2023 08:43

If you've added him already you probably won't be able to cancel, it's a 3 or 12 month contract depending on what you signed. I paid for my son's girlfriend for 9 months after they'd split up, nothing I could do.
If DL made a mistake you could argue that it's not what you agreed.

Mateyduck · 20/03/2023 08:43

You are paying for his services ? Eh?! This is not normal.

Wolvesandcacti · 20/03/2023 08:43

He us but a keeper. I’ve run errands for neighbours I don’t expect them to clothe me in return.
Spend your surplus income on your kids not greedy mcgreedy.

Sartre · 20/03/2023 08:44

He sounds really gross. Demanding you buy him an item of clothing each time he runs an errand for you is so cringey. Remove him from the gym membership and from your life.

Neolara · 20/03/2023 08:44

I'm afraid I agree with everyone else. It's not sounding good.

user1473878824 · 20/03/2023 08:45

Wtf OP. He wants you to buy him an item of clothing a month(?!?!?) because he helped you with some errands? Dump him, this is insane.

IamnotSethRogan · 20/03/2023 08:45

I would most likely end the relationship

Alishaattic · 20/03/2023 08:46

Honestly tell him to fuck off. I'm infuriated for you reading this.

latetothefisting · 20/03/2023 08:47

ChiefPearlClutcher · 20/03/2023 08:39

How does your vagina not slam shut like a clamshell after conversations like this??This is not a relationship.

Sums it up!

Apart from anything else surely you've screwed yourself over -unless he's into designer brands one t shirt a month is surely going to cost less than a David Lloyd's membership.

op get on fiverr or similar and pay someone a tenner a week to do the random chores you might need help with occasionally. Or a neighbours teen or whatever.

Or postage specific - go to an asda with a royal mail so you can post the thing at the same.time you do your shop. Royal mail are currently doing a trial where they will pick up your parcel from your house for free.

Surely anything is better than staying with this creep

Notimeforaname · 20/03/2023 08:48

said he’d do all errands like this for me if I bought him one item of clothing per month
Wtf have I just read??!

RudsyFarmer · 20/03/2023 08:48

He wants you to buy him clothes if he returns a parcel? Instead you’ve suggested you pay for his gym membership? This is a bizarre setup OP!

arethereanyleftatall · 20/03/2023 08:48

Whilst this is all ridiculously weird and transactional, a couple in a relationship do tend to do things for one another where they both can. It's reciprocal but not like for like and not counted on fingers. If he has more time and a car, and you have more money, then it's not strange that he would offer to help you out in the way he can, and you would offer to help him out in the way you can. How has this arrived at this tit for tat conversation?

bucketloadofcats · 20/03/2023 08:49

This is weird. If he's a partner (you call him DP), he should want to help you, and you should want to help him. If you're both keeping score of favours, is this really a relationship?

Pixiedust1234 · 20/03/2023 08:53

Hes using you, time to cut him loose. Every penny you are spending on this conman is one less penny you are spending on your children.

Honestly? This is not a relationship, if you flip the sexes around then you would be called a sugar daddy. Sex for favours.

bussteward · 20/03/2023 08:56

Dump him, use the extra money from his gym membership to outsource errands.

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