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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to pay partner’s gym membership?

81 replies

Pegasus41 · 20/03/2023 08:34

I took my DP and his son to David Lloyd as guests the other day. He loved it and wanted me to add him as a linked member and said he would pay the difference. However it ended up being more than David Lloyd initially quoted due to a mistake. He then said he wanted to cancel his membership. But then I asked him to help me return some parcels — I’m a lone parent with two young kids - and he said he’d do all errands like this for me if I bought him one item of clothing per month. I said how about I just keep you on my David Lloyd membership? For context I currently have more disposable income than him. And as a lone parent (my kids’ Dad died) find it really hard to keep up with errands with work and my kids. But I regret getting into something transactional like this with him.

OP posts:
BMW6 · 20/03/2023 09:00

Well he's a weird grabby fucker. Buy him an item of clothing every month in exchange for occasional deeds? I guess he'd get to choose the item though else you could just buy him a pair of pants every month.

What a twat. You'd need your head examined to stay with him.

firsttimemum1230 · 20/03/2023 09:05

Oh no! If i ever asked my partner for an item of clothing every time I helped him he’d of got me a full new wardrobe by now three times over. It is not how a relationship is meant to work. You need to walk a way and stop paying for anything and everything for him. I bought my partner football tops I knew he wanted as gifts and that’s as far as clothing goes from me to him.

Novatherova · 20/03/2023 09:05

Mind blown.

ladykale · 20/03/2023 09:05

It's 9am and I already have to log out.

Are men truthfully this naive in relationships as women are.

What spell do these men put you under to have to putting up with this toxic crap.

As a single parent why are you paying him ANYTHING. What is he contributing to your life?!

Yesthatismychildsigh · 20/03/2023 09:09

Are you really so desperate that you need to rent a ‘partner’? Is is this just one of those threads?

PrettyMaybug · 20/03/2023 09:10

Tell him to fuck off. LOL wot a cheeeeek.

Snugglemonkey · 20/03/2023 09:11

Wolvesandcacti · 20/03/2023 08:43

He us but a keeper. I’ve run errands for neighbours I don’t expect them to clothe me in return.
Spend your surplus income on your kids not greedy mcgreedy.

I thought this! Since COVID, I do a lot of errands for an elderly neighbour who has become afraid of public spaces. I would never dream of asking for anything in return.

Skyisbluegrassisgreen · 20/03/2023 09:12

He’s not your partner but your employee and fwiw I’d sack him.

forgotname · 20/03/2023 09:12

He sounds yuk!

If that were to come out of the mouth of my 15 year old son, i would seriously question my parenting.

That is not a partner you should want

Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 20/03/2023 09:20

Sorry but, what what fuck? He’ll only help you out with a tiny task if you buy him things???

Fuck that. Bin the mercenary and selfish prick. You’ll save a fortune.

HoneyPotBee · 20/03/2023 09:22

Tell him to fuck off. You need to value yourself more.

Mrsphilmiller · 20/03/2023 09:23

what a twat!

housemaus · 20/03/2023 09:25

You need a PA, not a boyfriend. And he wants a sugar mommy, not a girlfriend.

This is very odd.

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer · 20/03/2023 09:29

Returning parcels is the sort of thing I would do for a friend with no expectation of payment. Listen to everyone here advising you to rethink this man as your partner.

Murdoch1949 · 20/03/2023 09:31

Good god, drop him like a stone. Demanding you buy him an article of clothing a month in return for helping you! What an awful man, you can do much better. I would cancel him from your gym membership and life. I would not want my children having anyone like him in their lives.

Original poster
Pegasus41 · 20/03/2023 09:31

Thanks. I think I needed a mumsnet reality check.

He has helped me loads before in a very giving way, not asking for anything in return, but this new suggestion of his I find really upsetting.

OP posts:
Rewis · 20/03/2023 09:32

So could you turn him into a full time personal assistant with the clothing payment or would it be one errand=one piece of clothing?

strawberry2017 · 20/03/2023 09:33

He sounds like an arse!

Mortimercat · 20/03/2023 09:36

Sounds absolutely dreadful. But you are both being quite transactional about it, he asked for clothes and you offering gym membership in return for him running errands. It is weird all round. Not a proper relationship in my option. I would just get rid and find somebody normal that you can be normal with.

billy1966 · 20/03/2023 09:42

Dump.

Ick....big time.

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 20/03/2023 09:43

He's using you.

Naunet · 20/03/2023 09:43

So he’ll only do nice things for you if you pay him?! Does he think he’s an escort??

Agapornis · 20/03/2023 09:45

Urgh, for 'one item of clothing' I'd get him one sock a month from a Primark multipack. And dump him for money grabbing.

Goodadvice1980 · 20/03/2023 09:47

This guy has future cocklodger written all over him 🙄

ComeOnYouSummer · 20/03/2023 09:49

All very odd, just cancel his gym membership.