Preferred pronoun labels at childrens event

[StopitSarah]

I took my primary age children to a science event this weekend. It’s run by university students. Almost all of them had their preferred pronouns on their name labels.

AIBU to feel that was unnecessary and to feel a bit uneasy? One of my children wanted to know why “the man is saying we should say he/him. Isn’t that obvious?”

I asked one of the students who said it was to show support to any trans helpers and was for the benefit of the (adult) students, not the children.

I’m SO BORED and irritated by the trans agenda being every-bloody-where.

But AIBU? I had a good chat with one of the students and he said that they’re all science students and understand that woman = biological female is too simplistic. My brain exploded.

I don't get it @justteanbiscuits. The pronoun badges wouldn't necessarily help you - people might think you were a man identifying as a woman. You'd still be misgendered, more quietly perhaps. You would need to wear a different type of badge saying 'female' or something, which I think would look a bit odd, if I'm honest, but is something I would have absolutely no problem with. It's your choice to make.

I have no issue with trans people wearing badges either, if they wish, but I don't think they should get cross with people who get it wrong (as described by OP), whether this is by accident or because people are GC. After all, everybody is different and thinks differently. If you want acceptance you need to offer acceptance too.

And I don't think pressure should be put on society for everyone to wear a pronoun badge, as those students in the OP were pressured. And, yes, maybe they were just 'asked', but, as a pp pointed out, if you're asked to wear a badge to be inclusive then, yes, there is a moral pressure applied. And critics of gender ideology are very aware that a lot of others are still in the dark about what's going on and the damage that's being done and that many won't (yet) understand their POV. Gender critics know they're in danger of being completely misunderstood. So in a work setting it can sometimes be hard not to agree to pronouns.

Bottom line, people should be able to dress as they wish - and that includes badges. Nobody should be asked to wear one.

@justteanbiscuits Many posters have explained, very clearly, why they don't agree with displaying pronouns and why they aren't useful. However it's only yourself and @CremeEggQueen that are allowed to have an opinion? It's mud just because you don't agree? Right.

How difficult is it to turn round and say 'actually I'm female' when misgendered?

It's not the same as having a clear as day male standing in front of you declaring himself to be a female in the form of a badge, is it.

Misgendering can be upsetting. It seems that plenty on this thread cannot get their heads around this fact and fall back on the good old "well, she was asking for it by what she was wearing.." trope. We wouldn't accept that in any other situation, but why in this one?

i'm going to start wearing a badge saying 'not pregnant just fat'.

I'm not confused at all.
Nice attempt at gas lighting though.
If "your " side didn't care about gender stereotyping, why are you on the side of those who are telling others that being misgendered is no big deal, that you're asking for it for looking too much like a bloke?
I'm not the confused one here.

Ha ha, no.

Your side thinks children can be born in the wrong body because they play with the wrong toys.

No one has said 'I think pronoun badges are nonsense so no one should wear one'.

For the hundredth time, most have said they don't care if others wear them (regardless of whether they think they're nonsense), they just don't want to be compelled by others to follow suit.

Not the same as your shite wolf whistle analogy.

Your constant ignoring of this and need for this 'gotcha' that isn't coming is pathetic and a bit cringe.

When my SIL was pregnant with twins in her 40s she'd have liked a badge that said

'Not conceived by IVF'

I think we should all wear badges with statements that stop misconceptions and hurt.

The options are endless.

Actually, the OP is saying they don't think anyone should wear one.

The pronoun badges wouldn't necessarily help you - people might think you were a man identifying as a woman. You'd still be misgendered, more quietly perhaps.
Even though it would clearly say she her, they'd still get misgendered? What, by people doing it deliberately to stick one to trans people?

I don't think they should get cross with people who get it wrong (as described by OP), whether this is by accident or because people are GC

or because people are GC
Ah yes, look, there you go.

Actually, the OP is saying they don't think anyone should wear one.

Hence the word 'most' in my post.

Yes, I agree. I feel like it’s been said so many times now. Badges don’t correctly sex but wear one of you want. Don’t compel others. Where what you want. Many women (myself included) wear masculine clothing and really don’t care what people think. I don’t know what this ‘your side’ crap because it’s not even a rough estimation of my views or anything I’ve said here.

No one has said 'I think pronoun badges are nonsense so no one should wear one'
Have you actually read all the thread?!

Have you?!

I was also, twice, quite seriously misgendered which now a days would have led to a safeguarding enquiry as it put me at risk - both times led to me having to share bedrooms with boys when I was under 18. Once before I was working, on a school trip when I was under 16).

Surely the person allocating the rooms messed up big time. Did you even wear a name badge at that time? Probably not at school, though your sex would have been on your records. Would the people so careless as to have made those mistakes even have noticed anything stating your preferred pronouns?

In fact that seems an awful lot like the same behaviour as " well I love a wolf whistle, it's flattering, why would you get offended, get over yourself "

It's always the overreach, isn't it? TRAs can start out sounding somewhat reasonable, but it doesn't take too long to get from there to 'women who don't like pronoun badges think other women should dress more femininely and like being sexually objectified '. The only people I think I've ever come across saying they like being objectified, are TW like Paris Lees...

I don't think that pronoun badges are nonsense I think they are harmful.

They are a badge which demonstrate an alliance with an ideology which has the aim of removing the rights of women and telling children that if they don't comply with stereotypes they were born wrong.

There you go.

The reason both @CremeEggQueen have responded repeatedly is because we have been told we should just suck it up, that misgendering doesn't upset anyone, that we're lying, that we should dress more feminine etc etc etc. That we CHOSE to be misgendered. Many of the attitudes displayed in here I thought were left behind 20 years ago.

By a group of women who claim to be feminists and supporting women. But actually, you're only supportive of those who match your ideals. Who are nice and girly, who only behave and feel things the exact same way you dictate they should. Telling my 17 year old self that I shouldn't have been upset. I should have stood up to management and superiors and professors. I should have spoken up in a room of 40 people, as the only girl, as a very uncomfortable teen. I'm pleased you were all such amazing, confident teenagers who would have been able to do this, but please try and understand not everyone was.

By a group of women who claim to be feminists and supporting women.

Which group of women who claim to be feminist.

This isn't FWR it's AIBU.

Not a hive mind. I don't speak for anyone except myself. I think pronouns cause more harm than they do good. I have a daughter who wears boys clothes and is often mistaken for trans or non binary because she doesn't conform with stereotypes.

I'm sorry that you felt like you couldn't speak up and say you were actually a girl in a room full of boys but I feel you are massively projecting. And twisting what people on this thread are actually saying.

OK< let's take twitter. I don't have my pronouns on twitter. I use handle that is gender-less (that I have used on twitter since 2006, and for 10 years online before that so to me, it's as important as my real name). I get accused, at least weekly, of being a man. "How dare you have opinions on a female issue when you are a man". This very rarely comes from men, but always from those claiming to be feminists. When I have stated I am a woman. When I have opinions they don't agree with.

Right, and what's that got to do with whether wearing a pronoun badge does more harm to women, as a sex class, than good?

People would possibly think @justteanbiscuits was a transwoman as opposed to a woman. Maybe she'd be fine with that, but she seemed uncomfortable to be thought of as a man...

or because people are GC
Ah yes, look, there you go.
There's nothing wrong with being gender critical. You really should do a little more reading and research @CremeEggQueen.

Please read my previous post explaining why I outlined these experiences. I explained that while a badge wouldn't have helped me in these situations, I posted in solidarity with @CremeEggQueen who was being told she was lying about being misgendered, being told to wear more feminine clothing, and being told she was asking for it. I was just backing up that actually, misgendering can be a painful experience for many women and girls. That just because your child doesn't find it upsetting, doesn't mean that many others don't. But this is something that has gone way way over the head of most of this thread unfortunately.