Preferred pronoun labels at childrens event

[StopitSarah]

I took my primary age children to a science event this weekend. It’s run by university students. Almost all of them had their preferred pronouns on their name labels.

AIBU to feel that was unnecessary and to feel a bit uneasy? One of my children wanted to know why “the man is saying we should say he/him. Isn’t that obvious?”

I asked one of the students who said it was to show support to any trans helpers and was for the benefit of the (adult) students, not the children.

I’m SO BORED and irritated by the trans agenda being every-bloody-where.

But AIBU? I had a good chat with one of the students and he said that they’re all science students and understand that woman = biological female is too simplistic. My brain exploded.

As yesterday, I am still blown away by so many of you simply not caring that someone who has shared their experience of being misgendered and saying it made them uncomfortable. (it happened to be a lot as a teen. Short haired female, small busted, in jeans and tshirt in a mainly male workplace, with a name that could be construed as either gender, and YES, it was upsetting. I was also, twice, quite seriously misgendered which now a days would have led to a safeguarding enquiry as it put me at risk - both times led to me having to share bedrooms with boys when I was under 18. Once before I was working, on a school trip when I was under 16).

Why are YOUR feelings about having pronouns on badges more important than someone's actual experiences of being misgendered?? Why are you claiming people are lying just because their real life experience doesn't match your, obviously narrow, life experiences?? Rather than having a pronoun on a badge, you think people should simply dress to your feminine standards??

Well said.
It seems its fine for some women to feel uncomfortable as they dont fit feminine standards, but not for women who just don't want to use pronouns as they feel "can't make me" - and if you aren't a feminine enough woman, tough shit what do you expect going around like a bloke?! 🙄

It's just another way of policing women's looks dressed up as "feminism."
In quotes as that's really not feminism.

Rather than having a pronoun on a badge, you think people should simply dress to your feminine standards??

Quite the opposite. People should be able to wear whatever the hell they want. I must admit I'd slightly confused as to why someone would both be happy to dress in a less feminine way and also upset at being "misgendered". I honestly wouldn't care.

I have already said wear a badge if you want but don’t compel others. I’d say it’s similar to wearing a crucifix. It’s your personal choice but shouldn’t mean others need to show their support for your religion by also wearing one.

I’ve also asked posters what happens in the general public - you know, like the supermarket and taking public transport? If it’s happening at least 3 times at one event (as a poster had said) it must be happening all the time? So how do you deal with it in the general public?

Apologies if I missed this, but has someone actually told you to wear more feminine clothing? Presumably you are aware that many, many women prefer jeans and hoodies and aren’t misgendered because of it so I can’t see what difference that would make.

Because you're not a man and it is kind of upsetting being told you look like one.
Kind of feels like they're saying "you look like shit without any make up, go put some on!" 🙄😁

So, in order to not be upset as a teenager, I should have dressed in a more feminine way?!! I dressed as I did to try and NOT stand out. I'm not tall, and wouldn't call myself masculine looking, but I was obviously trying to be butch so should have been fine being misgendered? As I also said before, this smacks of the gross middle aged manager who told me to wear more makeup to look prettier.

Presumably you are aware that many, many women prefer jeans and hoodies and aren’t misgendered because of it so I can’t see what difference that would make.
Presumably you are aware that posters here are telling you that they ARE because of it, so how can you not see otherwise?!

Why are YOUR feelings about having pronouns on badges more important than someone's actual experiences of being misgendered??

It's what being compelled to lie that men are women does to women.

It puts male rapists in women's prisons. It puts men's feeling above women's safety and fairness in sport etc etc.

It results in children believing they are born in the wrong bodies, ffs.

A mild discomfort over being mis sexed is not at all comparable with the destruction in women's rights which is the end game of preferred pronouns

I really just live in jeans and hoodies and I’m not misgendered so anecdotally it’s not the clothes doing it is it? I don’t know why in particular you would be misgendered but many women are not for wearing hoodies. That’s my point. Unless you are trying to say it is the clothes that are causing this?

I've never been misgendered either and I live in tracky bottoms and don't do make up .

Odd.

We are talking about women who ARE NOT TRANS being misgendered for looking "too butch."
Why have you started going on about prisons again?!

Lucky bloody you then.
Odd? No, it's not odd at all that you're incapable of understanding that others have different life experiences than yourself.

Because what you are trying to do is say we are all big meanies for not doing pronouns.

You are trying to suggest that pronouns are just politeness and are ignoring the fact that they lead to the erosion of women's rights and children believing that they are born in the wrong bodies.

The fact that you deny the clear link doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

I think you know full well that the link exists and DGAF.

"It's not happened to me, so it can't possibly be happening to you"

Jesus fucking christ. Seriously??????

My daughter is often assumed to be a trans boy or non binary.

She isn't.

It really doesn't affect her life. She just tells everyone she's a girl and MOVES ON.

The only people who I see getting upset about pronouns are the men who are trying to shove TWAW down everyone's throats.

For gods sake are you all playing totally dumb? I’m 5’ 3’m and small boned and backpacks fall off my shoulders and if I had short hair the closest to a boy I’d look is a completely prepubescent one who’s the runt of the litter no matter how baggy and masculine my outfit was. My 7yo will be bigger than me in a couple of years. If you have a broader face and bigger bones then it’s much more likely because people do judge the clothes and presentation these days but in my case and many women case for different reasons eg a big boob lump in the the hoodie wearing profile, big female bottom etc, they’d go they couldn’t possibly be a man and look again more carefully.

A mild discomfort over being missexed
🙄 Says the person who has literally said that they've never been misgendered, so clearly doesn't have a clue there.
Over the poster telling them it is upsetting, and one saying that it has put them at risk in the past.
Ok.

Oh and the women who are trying to be cool to support them whilst either wilfully or unknowingly throwing women and children under the bus in the process.

My daughter has.

She DOESN'T CARE.

It is less harmful than the end game which you refuse to see because you are an activist.

It really doesn't affect her life. She just tells everyone she's a girl and MOVES ON.
You do realise your girl is just one person, right?
Again, you seem to be failing to understand that people aren't all the same!

I’ve been misgendered, the man who did it was mortified, I just laughed because in the great scheme of thing it made no difference to my life that one man glanced at my very short hair & leather jacket & thought I was a boy

Do you really think that pronouns on a badge is nothing more than a neutral impartation of information about how to refer to someone?

it’s a political statement. That’s the problem.

Someone thought I was pregnant once when I was just fat.

Almost needed therapy to get over that one.