Preferred pronoun labels at childrens event

[StopitSarah]

I took my primary age children to a science event this weekend. It’s run by university students. Almost all of them had their preferred pronouns on their name labels.

AIBU to feel that was unnecessary and to feel a bit uneasy? One of my children wanted to know why “the man is saying we should say he/him. Isn’t that obvious?”

I asked one of the students who said it was to show support to any trans helpers and was for the benefit of the (adult) students, not the children.

I’m SO BORED and irritated by the trans agenda being every-bloody-where.

But AIBU? I had a good chat with one of the students and he said that they’re all science students and understand that woman = biological female is too simplistic. My brain exploded.

You asked: Are those suffering other mental health issues declared sexual predators? Do people refuse to let their children anywhere near those with other, non-violent mental health issues?

Firstly, nobody has done such thing. However like any demographic the trans community is not immune to sexual predators.

As there is no gatekeeping we have no ideas which ones might actually have a mental health disorder and which ones just ‘choose’ to be trans like Abigail Thorn. And which men aren’t even going under the umbrella of ‘trans’ and just use the lack of gatekeeping to access spaces otherwise designed for women.

Which other mental health issue allows people to self identify into spaces that could harm women and girls?

I might treat someone differently if they put their pronouns on an email, because, sarcastic person that I am, I tend to think, ‘thanks for keeping me right, Wendy, Caroline, Emma or whatever your name is, and there’s me referring to you as he for all these years!’

@LakieLady

Please cold you explain to me what gender is and also what gender fluid is?

Thank you

I've read back @Howdoyoulikeyoureggsinthemorning and I have no idea what they are trying to say other than how it was interpreted?

My point stands. No one has said that children with gender dysphoria are sex predators and no one has made fun of them either?

So why are you trying to silence women when it comes to protecting children with mental health issues from harm?

Have you read the Cass report which concludes that social transition is not a neutral act?

Why do you think it is better for children to go along with lies rather than say that you can't change sex but you can be a boy or a girl and dress, act and enjoy playing with or doing anything you like?

Well this went as expected.

I think with “if you only talked to
some trans ppl you’d feel differently you bigots” I have a complete bingo card

LakeLadie I have indeed seen trans women in recent times and I didn't see "massive prejudice", quite the opposite in fact. Quite cringeworthy simping, was what I observed.

Interesting that you stereotype us as "pearl clutching" though - funny how you lot are so sensitive to any form of discrimination yet are quite happy to throw out some misogyny and ageism when it suits you because, funnily enough, that form of discrimination is acceptable.

But AIBU? I had a good chat with one of the students and he said that they’re all science students and understand that woman = biological female is too simplistic.

They clearly don't understand.
Classic example of Kruger-Dunning effect.
www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/dunning-kruger-effect

Calling yourself a scientist but being unable to distinguish opinion from fact or perceive your own cognitive bias is a bit tragic really.

I haven't said it has happened frequently, but in the space of one event of a few hours I was repeatedly misgenedered by different people purely based on my appearance. If I'd had a badge saying she/her then to would have stopped 90% of it and I would have been happy to wear it.

My response was merely in reply to someone who said that instead of a single "she/her" badge I should have to change the name I'm known by, give more information, or repeatedly correct people (which can be awkward and embarrassing for everyone).

If I'd had a badge saying she/her then to would have stopped 90% of it and I would have been happy to wear it.

Would you have been happy if people had interpreted the badge as "I am a man who likes to be called she/her"?

Or would you expect the badge to signify something else?

Oh well, you survived. Sorry but I can’t even bring myself to care, there are far, far worse things in the world, this is a none event.

@melj1213 Because a badge would have helped you on this occasion, would you ask all the other instructors at the event to wear pronoun badges too? And to wear them at all future events?

FKATondelayo · Today 12:52

Nobody has answered my question so I will ask again.

Why are "preferred pronouns" simultaneously no big deal and affects no-one else BUT also a cause of suicide if ignored?^

Because unicorns fart rainbow glitter and magic woo, obviously.

I sometimes wonder if the poster has ever known anyone who is trans or gender fluid and seen what massive amounts of prejudice they face

Like Dylan Mulvaney? Drew Barrymore went on her knees to Dylan, and Dylan has made millions for just... being a woman, apparently? Sorry, girl.

Huge prejudice.

Sorry @melj1213 I'm struggling to imagine how this played out. At events, people tend to say 'hello what's your name? Where do you work etc. If I'm with a colleague, I might say, 'oh yes I work with Jim'. I'd only refer to Jim in the 3rd person (ie as 'him') if he weren't there.

Typically we don't use pronouns to talk about another person when they're there.

Can you please explain? Thank you

You clearly have no understanding of the experience of being trans,

///

In the same way a biological male/female has no underwear of what it's like to be female/male unless of course the trans brain is super clever and knows this

Yet apparently the world must shift, language must change, boundaries and dignity be eroded and additional rights be given, just to make life more bearable for an individual who believes they're in the wrong body

Understanding not underwear obv

I just thought it was an extension of the emperor's new clothes analogy! 😁

How would I know how they interpreted it unless they asked me directly though?

My badge would say "MJ she/her" ... If a child asked why I had the words she/her on the badge I'd be truthful and say "Because some people see my short hair and think I'm a boy"

The only way I'd know how you (general you not this poster specifically) interpreted the badge is if you told me, which firstly would be cleared up by a simple explanation of "I have she/her there because some people see my appearance and assume my gender incorrectly so this makes it clear" and secondly it would say more about the fact you feel it appropriate to question someone about their personal information based on your assumption and interpretation.

Because this was an open day event where those of us in the club were speaking to the general public who didn't know is all personally. We were giving out information, sign up forms, info leaflets etc to lots of people most of whom didn't know us so when referring to people they weren't saying "I spoke to MJ/Alex/Jack" as the other people didn't necessarily know who we were by name and so instead they referred to us using pronouns eg "I was talking to the guy over there/the girl at the ticket booth/the man at the desk" etc and there were a few times where someone I had just spoken with was talking to someone else and misgenedered me when talking about me.

So for example I was talking to one gentleman about the restrictions for certain activities as he was interested in signing his child up. One of them has a height requirement for safety reasons so I asked him how tall his child was. He then called over to his child, who was with another group and said "Hey Sam, come here a minute this lad needs to know how tall you are"

Another example was that I was talking to someone about the activity, gave them an info leaflet and as they walked away someone else asked them where they had got the leaflet and they said "I got it off him over there," pointing at me.

Another one was when someone came over and said "Are you the guy I need to speak to about XYZ? The girl at the desk over there said to speak to Alex as he's the expert on XYZ and said he'd be over here" so I had to correct him and say "Sorry, I'm MJ and a woman so not the person you're looking for. Alex is the man in the blue beanie next to the noticeboard there"

I would ask that they were available as an option for everyone to wear if they chose to, whether it's because they felt they needed it or because they wanted to support those that need to wear it.

I wouldn't make it mandatory for anyone but I would expect that anyone who wanted one should be allowed to wear it.

Melj1313 - I said you had a choice, you could have just written female under your name. Problem solved because that's what you are, female. It's rude to refer to someone as a he/she when they are present.

Yes, I think that's fine too.However, I do think in the social climate of the moment that it is often difficult to refuse pronoun requests without appearing bigoted. Depends on the workplace and your peers and the individual situation of course, but for a lot of people that pressure is very real.

What I was getting at, Melj1313 was whether the pronoun badge is supposed to signify something beyond "I like she/her".

It seems from your answer that it is. I agree. And that's the problem with its use in general.

It's disingenuous of a PP to suggest children can simply be told "that person likes to be called she". There's obviously more to it than that.

She said: “My work have suggested that we should state our pronouns to show customers we are inclusive”.
So if stating pronouns shows customers they’re inclusive, what does deciding not to state one’s pronouns imply? Free choice, sure, but who would want to stand out as the “non-inclusive” one?
I work in a public facing role, I’m friendly and polite to all customers. I wouldn’t want to wear a pronoun badge though, because they stand for an ideology I don’t subscribe to (in the same way I wouldn’t want to wear a badge stating “atheist”). That that doesn’t mean I wish to exclude anyone.

I'm sorry I genuinely have no idea what you're talking about. Where have I mentioned a child at any point? Why do you keep saying child?