Preferred pronoun labels at childrens event

[StopitSarah]

I took my primary age children to a science event this weekend. It’s run by university students. Almost all of them had their preferred pronouns on their name labels.

AIBU to feel that was unnecessary and to feel a bit uneasy? One of my children wanted to know why “the man is saying we should say he/him. Isn’t that obvious?”

I asked one of the students who said it was to show support to any trans helpers and was for the benefit of the (adult) students, not the children.

I’m SO BORED and irritated by the trans agenda being every-bloody-where.

But AIBU? I had a good chat with one of the students and he said that they’re all science students and understand that woman = biological female is too simplistic. My brain exploded.

Why is this now part of the curriculum? 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

I don't know if it's actually part of the curriculum! And she doesn't have to read the books, but she probably will. I doubt she was the only one who laughed, either.

My response was merely in reply to someone who said that instead of a single "she/her" badge I should have to change the name I'm known by, give more information, or repeatedly correct people (which can be awkward and embarrassing for everyone)
I'm struggling to understand how you had to repeatedly correct people?
Were they pointing at you and referring to you as he within earshot?

Nobody does that 🤷🏻‍♀️
And they certainly were't referring to you as he to your face, that would be beyond ridiculous.

I meant the initial telling the class about some dingbats wanting to be referred to as Ze, Zoo, whatever. Why does a Year 5 class need their teacher telling them this?

Because the oppressed marginalised minority demanded it and we’re instantly listened to. That’s what oppression looks like I guess!

Thank you @melj1213 that kind of makes sense although I'm really genuinely surprised that so many people thought you were male as in my experience of having very short boys haircuts and only wearing men's clothing (literally used to buy men's suits and shirts and got my hair cut at a barber), no one ever thought I was male.

If they had, it honestly wouldn't have bothered me. I was dressing in a deliberately non-feminine way. I do find it a bit baffling to go out of your way to try and look as masculine as possible and then get upset if you're 'misgendered'.

I would also be really pissed off if I were attending an event and I was supposed to read the helpers' name badges not to help me, but to help them. I honestly don't care what your pronouns are. They're of no interest to me.

I’m struggling to understand how she knew that both people who “misgendered” her were men!

I work with Jim. I've worked with him for 3 years. Or I share a lift with him. Or I sit opposite him.
There you go
A few examples of when you might use the third person when they're actually there with you

I'm also surprised that someone is being misgendered as the opposite sex simply because they aren't conforming to gender stereotypes.

In my experience the only times I have accidentally misgendered someone is when it's I'm talking to either a transman or a transwoman and my brain is saying she/he while I am supposed to be saying the opposite, to match how they are presenting themselves and wish to be seen.

I find that very hard.

I was at an event the other day with a very butch lesbian in a smart tailored suit and there was absolutely no way I would ever have misgendered her (well, to be fair she was also talking about her menopause, but even so, everything about her was womanly, despite her suit and short hair.)

Something to do with science topic and some fish not having sexes (or they can change sex?) and some kid asking a question about people. It sounds like it just came up, to be fair. I just find it a bit OTT that she was told off (sent to be told off by another teacher, which is what they always do) for giggling without any intended malice. Anyway, she'll be enlightened after reading the books, no doubt. They're by Alex Gino, I believe.

But clearly none of those instances applied to @melj1213 's situation, as the people apparently misgendering were obviously strangers.
So you'd have to wonder, 1. How she heard all these conversations she wasn't actually part of, and 2. Why multiple people though she was a man because she was wearing jeans and a hoodie...

There’s no way I’d be allowing my kids to read that stuff, and I would be having serious words with the school.

You seem far more measured about it than I'd have been, tbh (my children are older).

Fair enough I was just giving examples of when we refer to people in the third person when they are there.

She knows her own mind.

Mind you, I don't haven't read the books! Alex Gino seems to be (from some googleing) either a trans woman or NB.

So why are you so sanguine about her being educated in this way?

What makes you think that all trans people who 'pass' as their preferred gender would share their history with you?

Most people don't go around shouting it from the rooftops.

You will likely have seen trans people and not known that they are trans. If you don't know then you don't know.

You will likely have seen trans people and not known that they are trans. If you don't know then you don't know.

Highly unlikely unless it is a very young child (pre puberty) and even then...

Most people are able to accurately sex others, even though trans people would desperately like this to be untrue it is not. The fact that a trans person thinks they 'pass' does not make it true.

@Cosyblankets - if I worked with Jim and I knew that Jim was either male or a transman, I'd use male pronouns to be polite.

But I wouldn't expect a member of the public to use them and I wouldn't correct them if they got them wrong either. If people are so fragile that this would upset them, they probably shouldn't be in a public facing role.

I was being sarky about the "educating" - I don't think it's educational.

Oh, it is...

You really believe there are legions of trans women passing so well that nobody can tell without being let into the secret? Really?
Women don't need to have full disclosure of anyone's "history" to correctly identify someone of the male sex.

It is up to you what you want to believe.

They are simply wearing a sticker stating their own preferred pronoun that they would like to be addressed by
Nobody is addressed by a pronoun, @spelunky