Preferred pronoun labels at childrens event

[StopitSarah]

I took my primary age children to a science event this weekend. It’s run by university students. Almost all of them had their preferred pronouns on their name labels.

AIBU to feel that was unnecessary and to feel a bit uneasy? One of my children wanted to know why “the man is saying we should say he/him. Isn’t that obvious?”

I asked one of the students who said it was to show support to any trans helpers and was for the benefit of the (adult) students, not the children.

I’m SO BORED and irritated by the trans agenda being every-bloody-where.

But AIBU? I had a good chat with one of the students and he said that they’re all science students and understand that woman = biological female is too simplistic. My brain exploded.

@MaggieMagpie357 As I say, I’m not in your position. But I do know I will never pretend that anyone can change sex or is actually “trapped” in the wrong body. I don’t deny people feel that they are, but that’s not based in reality and shows a need for long term help. Not for the rest of the world to collude in the delusion.

Um so explain 'why'.

Your children are going to grow up in a world with transgender people in it, you can't really shelter them from trans people's existence.

Putting pronouns on your own badge because you want to is very different to asking or instructing others to announce their pronouns @CremeEggQueen @justteanbiscuits.
These students were asked/instructed to display their pronouns and that's a very different situation to what you're describing.

I don't know why you are not furious with the trans activists rather than with women who say that Sex matters.

Doesn't it concern you that ROGD is a recent phenomenon in girls? You don't have to look very far to see that this is the case, the stats (albeit limited) from GIDS demonstrate the fact.

Isn't it better, from a mental health point of view, to try to maintain a GC approach with your child and to explain this rather than to agree that she 'must have been born in the wrong body'? Isn't there is no wrong way to be a girl a kinder approach? It must be so confusing for girls who are struggling when society is encouraging them in this way that they are born wrong.

I know that mental health challenges with children is really hard. I've 2 autistic children both who have had serious mental health challenges. My DS was suicidal when he was 10 because he couldn't cope with school so you really have my sympathy.

But I guess where I am with this is that years ago teen girls weren't being put on a path that led to mutilation and infertility and there are not 100s of adult women saying that this ruined their lives. It tends to be middle aged men who are finding that they were always women and asking to be treated as such.

I'm not sure 'affirming' is in your child's best interests.

It's also not really cool to say use your child's mental health as a weapon to scold women to 'be kind' when that harms our daughters in the long run, whether that be affirming them as boys when they will never be treated by society as such or whether it be giving their rights to single sex spaces and sports away to males who identify as women.

@Naunet it's not about oppression!!! It's about hate crimes and bullying and being told you're weird and don't belong and hateful comments my child now has echoing in his head every day. Have you ever tried just being tolerant and kind and letting people live their lives however they want to?

@lifeturnsonadime you have no idea what approach we've taken to this. All I'm asking for is a bit of kindness as my child navigates the world. Not too much to ask really.

Isn't it better, from a mental health point of view, to try to maintain a GC approach with your child and to explain this rather than to agree that she 'must have been born in the wrong body'? Isn't there is no wrong way to be a girl a kinder approach?

NOOOO.

Were they? They were forced? Or were the asked and chose to do it? MASSIVE difference

Explain why that obvious woman has decided she’s going to transcend our natural linguistic way of speaking and opt for different pronouns from the ones you’ve been learning at school for no obvious reason?

What’s a good explanation of non-binary that for a 6 year old that doesn’t bring about further questions?

It's terrible that your child is being bullied but asking women to 'be kind' harms women and children, that's why we won't stop talking about it.

Sorry but your daughter is not more important than mine or everyone else's daughter.

Nobody has answered my question so I will ask again.

Why are "preferred pronouns" simultaneously no big deal and affects no-one else BUT also a cause of suicide if ignored?

Hate crimes = misgendering. I really couldn’t care less when male rapists are being put in women’s prisons even though only about 1% of rapes end in conviction - that’s a fucking hate crime. As for bullying and being told you’re weird, that’s hardly a trans exclusive experience, that’s pretty normal for kids to experience. You help by raising them to be resilient.

Believe it or not, I couldn’t give a shit how someone wants to live their life until it impacts other peoples rights. Have you tried caring about women as much as you care about males?

Why? Please explain why it is better to lie to a child than to say that they can never change sex?

Please explain why saying you can wear and do what you want but you can never be the opposite sex is harmful?

So posters like mel upthread then should carry on being misgendered and called he, Sir, that lad over there etc when they're not and feeling embarrassed having to call it out or just put up with it?

I don't understand why that is a big deal.

However my chief objection to name badges is that belief a "gender identity" is akin to a belief in souls. I see pronoun badges in much the same light as a crucifix or similar and would be just as annoyed to be forced into wearing either.

Christians at least are perfectly tolerant that not everyone shares their religious views.

@StopitSarah Oh, and yes, I do have plenty of experience with stupidly bright primary children. My own son was 8 when a relative came out as trans. When we were discussing something related to pronouns, he asked "why is James now called Kelly?" "Because James wants to be a woman now". "Oh, OK, does that mean they're trans?" "Yes, it does".

@justteanbiscuits and then the following questions of “but men can’t become women can they?” “How does a man become. Woman?” etc etc

Why don't you try to talk to some trans people and they can explain to their experience to you, rather than assuming what would be received as "kind".

You clearly have no understanding of the experience of being trans, so really you should be spending your time listening and learning, rather than spouting your own (ignorant) ideas about what is "kind" to trans people on social media.

Exactly

There's no social pressure at all then for anyone who has ever added pronouns to a badge or email signature? Is that what you really think? It's all completely optional and there is no judgement whatsoever? I truly wish that were true.

Are you suggesting we lie to kids in order to “be kind” regarding someone’s delusion?! That doesn’t seem very kind to me.

I want to identify as 67 and claim my pension now.

Not sure why this is not allowed when I actually will be 67 one day, whereas I could just decide I’m a man tomorrow (which I never will be) and the world would apparently have to agree with me and validate my choice.

It's not kind to say to your female child that they are male. Because they aren't. And vice versa. Just like you wouldn't affirm that someone suffering from anorexia is fat. You reinforce that if they want to reject gender stereotypes in the form of dress, hairstyle etc that is fine and should be accepted.

I guess, because of the way he has been bought up, he didn't need to follow it up with all those questions. He didn't have a massive understanding of gender at 8 so didn't think about sexual organs or surgery. At 8 he saw it much more as a social thing than a surgical thing. He is now 12, and he has asked some further questions, which I've answered without emotion - just "well, some have surgery to change themselves, some just change their clothing or take medicines". He's now at a very inclusive high school, so I doubt he see's it more than just normal life.

I came across someone who wanted to be known as fae/faer recently. Nonsensical bollocks. Seems that they have been given the opportunity to label themselves as mentally challenged .

This is your real post isn't it?