Preferred pronoun labels at childrens event

[StopitSarah]

I took my primary age children to a science event this weekend. It’s run by university students. Almost all of them had their preferred pronouns on their name labels.

AIBU to feel that was unnecessary and to feel a bit uneasy? One of my children wanted to know why “the man is saying we should say he/him. Isn’t that obvious?”

I asked one of the students who said it was to show support to any trans helpers and was for the benefit of the (adult) students, not the children.

I’m SO BORED and irritated by the trans agenda being every-bloody-where.

But AIBU? I had a good chat with one of the students and he said that they’re all science students and understand that woman = biological female is too simplistic. My brain exploded.

CremeEggQueen - Well then just correct the adult/child if they think you're the opposite sex. It's no big deal.

This entirely! Kids have enough to think about and us parents do too. It worries me that this is put on kids at a young age when they shouldn’t be worrying about such things… they’ve got their whole lives to understand how the world works. Feels like a totally inappropriate place for this too!

You’ve admitted that you pretty much looked male so what did you expect?!

She can of course wear a badge if she wishes and it makes things easier for her. Of course.

It's forcing everyone to wear badges that's the problem (when the only alternative is be thought badly of). Many people would really prefer not to announce their pronouns, but that's not easy to say in today's climate. For example, when asked to add pronouns to work email signatures, people are often afraid their career will be affected negatively if they don't comply so can't speak out.

"Pronoun badges make me and others uncomfortable so shouldn't be worn!"

"You're uncomfortable because you're being continually misgendered? Ah fuck it, that's OK, and what did you expect looking too much like a bloke?!" 🙄

My teen has gender dysphoria. Every day I see threads like this on Mumsnet and I can't imagine what the future holds for him. He has felt suicidal at times, but apparently I should tell him that he was born female so just suck it up, yes?

I'd rather be a good parent than bury my child thanks.

I was wearing a name badge ... But my name is unisex and the nickname I use at the club, which everyone refers to me by, is my initials so wearing a name badge did not help with the misgendering.

I've not come across anywhere that forces their staff to put their pronoun on badges or emails. Everywhere I know of that it's been put in place it's the individuals choice. If someone chooses to include their pronouns, that is their prerogative.

How would that help if say your name was Chris, Alex or Sam for example?

For women, those are usually abbreviations of longer female names so if you are bothered or want to save everyone’s blushes, you can use your full name.

I really hope your child gets all of the support in dealing with this that they deserve but your child's mental health distress is not a good reason for women's rights to be thrown under the bus which is what is happening by the false teaming of men who want access to women's spaces with children with serious mental health issues.

I've not come across anywhere that forces their staff to put their pronoun on badges or emails. Everywhere I know of that it's been put in place it's the individuals choice. If someone chooses to include their pronouns, that is their prerogative.

Yes, where I work it was strongly suggested and the overwhelming majority have ignored the suggestion. The fact that all the people were wearing badges with pronouns suggests they were told. Or had to fill in a form with pronouns as one of the questions so someone could make up the badges

@MaggieMagpie357 I am not in your position. But if my daughter had gender dysphoria I would do everything to help her accept that she’s a woman but can present/be any kind of woman she wants. I wouldn’t tell her she can be a man. The world will not recognise her as a man. None of the trans people I know of have met have been the opposite sex in my mind. They’d be firmly a trans man, never a real man. I’d never, ever contemplate a relationship with a trans man, for example.

Why should they change their name to the longer version if they're known as the other one though, just to make others more comfortable?!

It's not really a choice when it's state your pronouns or be thought of as a bigot though, is it?

Depends on the workplace though

Well said, @Divorcedalongtime .

When I read posts full of pearl-clutching about pronouns, I sometimes wonder if the poster has ever known anyone who is trans or gender fluid and seen what massive amounts of prejudice they face.

@StopitSarah your first sentence is all you needed to say. Anyone who is not in my position or my child's cannot possibly understand what it's like. Just be a kind and respectful person, what's so difficult about that?

With respect, and I really do realise this is hard, lying to your children that they can change sex is just setting them up to fail. Our roles as parents is to do what’s right for our child and that isn’t necessarily what’s ‘kind’.

Encourage them to dress how they like, give them all the love in the world and get some robust mental health support in place. But reality will come crashing eventually unfortunately.

Good luck.

Because it only works one way.

-Being called the wrong gender regularly (even though it is the gender I was born) makes me really uncomfortable, so I would like pronouns on my badge
-YOUR discomfort doesn't matter. My discomfort at your use of your pronoun makes me uncomfortable and my discomfort trumps yours. Make yourself appear more female

Smacks of being told to wear makeup to look prettier, or to smile more.

I think that sums that up.

Yep, sounds about right sadly

I work for an organisation where 90% of people state their pronouns. I don't. I have never been told I am a bigot, or even been hinted at. Even by my VERY inclusive, LGBTQ+ manager. No one is bothered if other people use their pronouns - they only worry about themselves.

I once had a colleague who refused to wear the rainbow lanyard. Fine. It's everyone's choice. I only started considering them a bigot when they made official complaints about others wearing the rainbow lanyard (it certainly wasn't forced as there were only enough to cover about half of staff anyway), when they tried to go to the press about it, and when they threatened legal action because others wearing it made them feel uncomfortable because Jesus blah blah blah.

I’ll be as kind as the trans movement is to women, fair?

😂 oh yeah right, sooooo oppressed

My five-year-old has only recently realised the obvious physical difference between boys and girls. For a long time, she appeared to think a person’s sex was determined by the length of their hair and whether they had a girl’s or boy’s name.

I know she’ll need to learn about gender identity one day, but please not yet.