To ask this about 55+ year olds?

[Luciasa]

In your opinion, do you think it's unusual for people aged 55 and over to have both their parents -

• alive and living independently?

Dh is 55 and has both parents alive living independently.
My mum is 62 and has both parents alive living independently.
My nanny is 79 and had both parents alive living independently 9 years ago and she was 70.

My mum as I say, had both parents alive/independent at 55 - all changed drastically for her at 56 though

This is great I think

Both my parents who died in their 80s were fine one day and dead the next, they weren't visibly in poor health, though sometimes that is the best way to go rather than enduring years of poor health

I'm that age. Both of mine died in my early 20"s
I'm not a sentimental person at all but I did actually shed a tear when I saw mums and daughters doing bridal stuff together.

Fairly unusual. I'm 53 and both mine are alive and independent, but looking at my friends of the same age most of them have lost at least one parent.

Very unusual but my mum did. Her dad died when she was in her late fifties and my nana was up dancing all night at my mums 60th. She was close with her mum but she was very pragmatic when she passed away and said how many people get to their 60s with their mother alive and fairly healthy and she talked about how lucky she'd been rather than being devastated.

Both of mine were alive when I got to 55 in December 2019. By the time I got to 56 in December 2020 they were both gone.

It's unusual but it happens.

DH's parents are nearly eighty and live independently - his oldest sibling is in his fifties 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes agreed and as there are a lot of threads on this subject- understandably - on here - your example shows that not everyone will need care as they age

I was born in 1964, my parents were comparatively old (for then) when I was born at 33 and 39. It took them a few years to conceive, they were married in 1955.

In 2019 when I was 55, dad was still at home living independently and driving, mum had had to go into a nursing home at the beginning of the year - due to dementia and increasing frailty/falls she wasn't safe at home any more. They're both gone now though, but they were about 10 years older than most of my contemporaries parents.

Mine are dead and so are my husband's parent

I’d lost both my parents before I was 50. They were 74 and 83 when they died, and were slightly older than most of my friends’ parents growing up. They had me when they were 34 and 36. That’s a more normal age for today’s parents so I’d guess our children will lose their parents when they are younger than in the past.

My mum died a couple of months before I was 55. I’m 56 now. My dad is 80. Very active and totally independent (still helps me out with things). He had both his parents alive and living independently until he was 60. Then they both died within a few months of each other. My mum had lost both hers by the time she was 40 (her father was she was only 15).

Of my friendship group of women about the sane age as me, most have at least one parent still alive, but far fewer have both.

I would not say it’s unusual to have both patents still alive once you turn 55. But I would say it’s less likely than not.

I'm almost that age, and both my parents are still fit & healthy and living in their own home. My nan (dad's mum) is 100 next month, lvining in a care home, but still very much with it. I hope I've inherited the longevity gene!

I think it might depend on whether the 55 year old is the oldest child or not. I had lost a parent by 32, dh had lost both his by his late 40s. But he wasn't the oldest child and his parents had him quite late.

Most of my friends in their early 40s still have both parents. I suspect it will become rarer to have both alive when you're 55 as people are having children later. My own dc won't - husband would be 110! And I'd be 95.

I'm 55, both parents mid eighties and totally independent, always off on holiday, eating out etc. BUT DF has just been diagnosed with cancer and I can see how quickly things can change.
DH is 57, his parents were just like mine but began getting more illnesses over the last couple of years. They're still independent but noticeably frailer.

Very unusual imo.

I'm 40s and all my circle have lost one and most both parents.

I disagree about the middle class having their parents around longer. If anything it's the other way around as most middle class in my area delayed parenthood until their 30s so many lose their own at the same age.

I don't know where these life expectancy figures come from as it's not representative of what I see every day.

57 here and still have Mum

I was lucky to have my darling Dad as long as I did though (looking at friends losses much younger) He died when I was 54.

Mum is 80 in October but nobody would know it too look at Her. I hope I have her genes :)

At 55 I did and they were fully independent

In my family it is unusual for us to have both parents alive and living independently at 25, never mind 55.

I literally can’t think of anyone I’m related to who had both parents alive and unimpaired when they reached 25.

I’m hopeful my DC will still have us at 25 but to still have us at 55 seems utterly ridiculous to me.

I'm 53 and my dad died 3 years ago. Mother is still inflicting mental anguish on everyone she encounters.

My MIL died 12 years ago when my partner was 58, my PIL died recently.

At 55 mine were both very dependent (dementia and a stroke). Now I'm 57 and they're both dead.

@User6495321
Read that to DH and we both agreed that was how we would like to go. It must be more difficult for you as family though?
I knew someone in their 80's - fit and well widower. He asked his neighbour if there was anything she wanted from the shops, drove off and died of an MI a few yards down the road. I've always thought it nice that his last act was one of kindness