To ask this about 55+ year olds?

[Luciasa]

In your opinion, do you think it's unusual for people aged 55 and over to have both their parents -

• alive and living independently?

My dear Mum is nearly 98.
Still independent, not on any serious medication, lives alone, cares for her home all by herself. Catches bus to our city most days.
She grew up in a broken home which was poor by today’s standards. Went into “service” at a big house when she was 14.
She’s always eaten a lot of vegetables and never owned a car. Perhaps that helps? 😂

I find this as well. I have 4 friends who have lost both parents by the time they're 45 - so 10 years younger than the subject of my post. They are all from irrefutably working class backgrounds. On the whole, middle class well educated people seem to love a high quality of life when approaching 90! Still driving, holidaying, and generally very active. People who've died younger - under 70 - whether working or middle class - out of the people I know tend to drink and/or smoke a lot - again - just from my experience

I'm 48 and many (most?) of my friends, including me, have both parents alive and living independently. However, I can imagine that might change quite a bit in the next few years... they are definitely getting frailer.

I’m 56, every friend i have has both parents alive and well with just one exception, her dad has Parkinson’s, but it’s well controlled and her mother looks after him with no help.

I would say that both still alive is quite unusual, but probably becoming less so.

I'm 67 and most of my friends are within approx 10 years either way of my age. I can only think of 3 or 4 who've had both parents still alive after that age. I'd lost both of mine by the time I was 55.

I have 2 sets of friends whose oldest child is 55 or almost, with both parents still alive (in one case, against all expectation!). I think it will become more common in the next few years.

Socio-economic status will have a significant bearing on this. There is a large difference in both life expectancy and healthy life expectancy between the poorest 10% and wealthiest 10% of society.

For someone in the poorest 10%, it would be really unusual to have two living parents, able to live independently, at that age.

Someone upthread said, "Mid-70s isn't usually an age at which most people become incapacitated", but for poorer people that isn't true.

It varies. I'm not far off that and have both of mine, exh only last his grandparents recently!

My mum's parents were both alive when she was 55. My dad died before he turned 55, but both his parents would have been alive. I haven't made it to 55 yet, but won't have both parents.

That's excellent! And I anything the vegetables thing helps

I’m around that age and most people I know have lost at least one parent.

I was in my 60s before I lost my mum and still have my dad, all living independently. Thinking about it all my friends had both parents living independently when they were at least 60, only person I know who didn't is my DH who lost a parent when he was 18.

So my straw poll says 95% do!

@AnchorWHAT

If you can be fully independent at such an advanced age that is brilliant.

I think what most of us want is to live life to the full then a quick end🤞

I completely agree with this - the 4 people o knew who'd lost parents by 45 - not 55! - we all very indisputably working class. I've noticed that middle class well educated people seem to be very active, high quality of life, still drive etc approaching 90! Even above 90! I've known working class people live til 90 but they're less likely to drive and holiday etc

I think both still alive is unusual at that age, although going by my friends it is usual to lose a parent by 45, but the surviving parent will live independently and will usually still be doing so when their child is 55.

Although 75 isn't seen as frail old age these days, lots of people don't get to 75. Those who do are not usually frail at that age.

Both my grandparents were alive and living independently until my Mum was 65 (they were in their 90s). They then went rapidly downhill and died within months of each other.

I don’t think it’s unusual. I’m 55 myself.
Purely anecdotally, I’m thinking of all my friends. Most where a parent has died, it’s been much younger from illness, not old age. Nobody has a parent in a home.

Working class people are much more likely to lose parents early.
My dad went from factory work to cemetery with only a few short months to enjoy his allotment.
Still miss him. He didn't get to see his grandchildren grow up, nor they get to know him.

Will also depend on when your parents had you. DH’s mum was 21 when she had him. My parents were mid 30s when I was born. I am mid 50s, DF died 5 years ago, DM lives relatively independently but has various health issues.

DH has both parents but one now has life limiting illness and the other has started to have health issues but both still live independently

I'm 50 and my parents are 80 this year- I'm very lucky they are both alive, together and live in their own home still- still driving and gardening etc. My inlaws the same, although they are a little younger (76). Thinking of my friends my age most have lost one or both of their parents but the remaining ones do live independently. So I'd say by age 55 not many will have both parents still.

Its going to depend on how old your parents were when they had you for starters. Both of mine have died after I turned 55, but neither were frail and both were living independently.

When we were 55 or so we had two of our four parents alive , now at 60/62 we only have one left. None of our parents were in their twenties when they had us though which would make a difference.

I am 57 and have mine. They have a bit if help in the garden now but other than that are self sufficient.
Key is that they were comparatively young when they had me.

Gosh I so agree with this from my experience. Sorry about your dad - I do strongly feel that death can't break the bond though and our loved ones who've passed are still supporting us and our own loved ones

My dad is 64 and his parents are in their 90s and healthy and living independently.
My DDs have 10 great grandparents/step great grandparents (due to MIL's parents divorce and remarriage), 9 of whom are still alive, and all of them are living independently. I think they're all over 85, 3 (including my dad's parents) are in their 90s.

I know several. The couple living a few doors down from me have a son in his early 60's (I know this because he was in my sister's class at school). They are very active and still go on holiday every year. In fact there are several elderly couples living on the estate where I am. It's mostly bungalows rented from a HA so definitely not middle class types.