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Original poster

To think Mother’s Day is commercialised bulls**t?

79 replies

Trainsonline23 · 18/03/2023 20:48

I just don’t get it. I realise mothers want to feel valued and appreciated, but this focus on this one day, the ‘hallmark’ quality of it all, is just so off putting. I think of all the women who are despairing in their struggle to become mothers, and those who have lost their own mother, and I just think the whole thing is pretty tacky. A bit like Valentines day.

and I’m a mother and my mother is around etc

OP posts:
Fairislefandango · 18/03/2023 20:56

Well yes, but you can ignore it to whatever extent you like. I send my dm flowers and phone her on the day. My dc give me a card and sometimes a small present. It's a nice little gesture and I (and my mum) always appreciate it, but otherwise it's a totally normal Sunday. There's no need to buy into the excessive hype.

Daydreamer123456 · 18/03/2023 20:56

I don’t get why so many people complain about other holidays/celebration days being ‘too commercialised’ but have absolutely no problem with Christmas.

FWIW, we don’t and have never done anything to celebrate Mother’s Day, but I think it’s nice that people make a bit of an effort and if they’re happy to do it, what’s the big deal. Also, I’m saying this as someone who lost their mum at 10 years of age.

UWhatNow · 18/03/2023 20:57

You’re right, but what are you going to do? Not buy your mum a card? Some flowers? The economy needs a bit of commercialism at the minute!

Coffeellama · 18/03/2023 21:00

You don’t need to get it. You don’t like it, some do and they enjoy it. It’s not bullshit for everyone. Christmas is commercialised bullshit too that lots of people find hard, guessing you want rid of than as well?

Ihopeithinkiknow · 18/03/2023 21:01

I have always thought that Mother’s Day is just a load of old crap tbh I always told my kids I don’t need a card from them and it’s never been a big thing for me ever. I lost my 22 year old son last year in an accident and it’s just made me hate Mother’s Day even more now. All you see is people whining about things that don’t even matter, who did or didn’t make an effort or what shitty presents they got. I wouldn’t have even got a card from my son tomorrow anyway because I was his mum every day and just having him as my son was more than enough. I understand it’s a big deal to some though and yeah that’s fair enough but honestly it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. I’m so glad I didn’t actually waste any time with my son when he was here by being pissed off that he didn’t ever get me anything for Mother’s Day.

scoobycute · 18/03/2023 21:02

Tacky to appreciate your mother or be appreciated on a special day? I think you're being a tiny bit unreasonable. Just let those that can and wish to enjoy it! Some people love to celebrate things in a big way and we should appreciate and be thankful on these days. It is a day to remember those that have lost/struggling to conceive..but that in its own merit isn't enough to scrap it and say it's a load of commercialised tack.

Original poster
Trainsonline23 · 18/03/2023 21:03

Ihopeithinkiknow · 18/03/2023 21:01

I have always thought that Mother’s Day is just a load of old crap tbh I always told my kids I don’t need a card from them and it’s never been a big thing for me ever. I lost my 22 year old son last year in an accident and it’s just made me hate Mother’s Day even more now. All you see is people whining about things that don’t even matter, who did or didn’t make an effort or what shitty presents they got. I wouldn’t have even got a card from my son tomorrow anyway because I was his mum every day and just having him as my son was more than enough. I understand it’s a big deal to some though and yeah that’s fair enough but honestly it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. I’m so glad I didn’t actually waste any time with my son when he was here by being pissed off that he didn’t ever get me anything for Mother’s Day.

I’m so sorry for your devastating loss x

OP posts:
Verylongtime · 18/03/2023 21:04

Mothering Sunday seems to have gradually morphed into Mother’s Day. It was a quiet church Sunday when I was little. Mothering Sunday doesn’t have much to do with mothers, though there was a bit of a nod, so it’s all a bit odd. Mother’s Day is a relatively modern American creation.

Original poster
Trainsonline23 · 18/03/2023 21:04

scoobycute · 18/03/2023 21:02

Tacky to appreciate your mother or be appreciated on a special day? I think you're being a tiny bit unreasonable. Just let those that can and wish to enjoy it! Some people love to celebrate things in a big way and we should appreciate and be thankful on these days. It is a day to remember those that have lost/struggling to conceive..but that in its own merit isn't enough to scrap it and say it's a load of commercialised tack.

I just don’t understand the emphasis on one day - appreciation should be the current that runs through our lives, not one day a year when you can buy an overpriced bunch of flowers from Tesco. To me, it’s nonsense

OP posts:
scoobycute · 18/03/2023 21:14

@Trainsonline23 A lot of people do appreciate their mothers from day to day in small things, big things etc. You'd hardly be receiving special gifts/flowers every day as a token though..The day is to commemorate the appreciation you have for your mother. In the same sense that birthdays/anniversaries/Christmases are too...it's just one day...If you think it's nonsense then crack on with just treating it like any other Sunday!

Devoutspoken · 18/03/2023 21:18

I don't find my breakfast in bed in the least bit tacky, or not doing any house work or child care, or having a lovely lunch somewhere. Sorry you are being curmudgeonly, let people be happy

MooseBreath · 18/03/2023 21:22

I think it's good to have a day to appreciate mothers. It's a thankless, selfless job with no breaks.

I don't expect much from my DH and children, but I want them to acknowledge my efforts and take the load off my shoulders for once.

WeWereInParis · 18/03/2023 21:23

UWhatNow · 18/03/2023 20:57

You’re right, but what are you going to do? Not buy your mum a card? Some flowers? The economy needs a bit of commercialism at the minute!

I don't buy my mum a card..

Mother's Day was just something we never did, my parents weren't bothered at all (so we never did Father's Day, they never really did Valentine's Day or anniversaries either. We did do birthdays and Christmas). So while it doesn't bother me that other people do it, it's just not something we do because I never grew up with it. I'll get a card from my DDs because they've made them at nursery but that's it.

QueSyrahSyrah · 18/03/2023 21:23

It amuses me somewhat that purely on MN Valentine's Day is largely commercial crap that only those short of brain or desperate to prove something care about, Birthdays post 18 are treated with much the same disdain from fun-sucking high horses, yet Mothers Day (a hallmark hijacked bastardisation of Mothering Sunday) is the absolute pinnacle of importance.

Each to their own I say Grin

tinselvestsparklepants · 18/03/2023 21:27

Ah yes, Mother's Day, aka HA HA HAHA you're barren day - best go and make your own mother feel special while you think about how you're going to die alone Day. It can FOATFOSM.

Metootoo · 18/03/2023 21:29

Agree! Saw my on this evening and he said 'oh and happy mother's Day tomorrow' and we just laughed and hugged goodbye. Her knows I can't stand the Hallmark stuff. Hug from my boy when I see him is all I actually want...

HyggeTygge · 18/03/2023 21:31

Verylongtime · 18/03/2023 21:04

Mothering Sunday seems to have gradually morphed into Mother’s Day. It was a quiet church Sunday when I was little. Mothering Sunday doesn’t have much to do with mothers, though there was a bit of a nod, so it’s all a bit odd. Mother’s Day is a relatively modern American creation.

Yes, Mothering Sunday was what it was when I was younger- quite a different reason for it, although still nice family focus.

Devoutspoken · 18/03/2023 21:31

Yeah I don't like birthday presents either

SupplyIsLimited · 18/03/2023 21:34

It is what you make it. Some will make a mess of it, forget or just not bother to do something when they know a small gesture would mean a lot, expect too much, be disappointed, etc. For some, it will be a painful reminder of people they've lost, but that happens with all sorts of celebrations and even everyday things. It's a part of living.

At its best, it's a yearly reminder to not take people for granted and to reflect on the good things in our lives, even if our mother figure wasn't our actual mother, even if she's no longer with us, even if our own experience of motherhood wasn't easy, and so on.

XenoBitch · 18/03/2023 21:39

YABU you don't have to anything about it. It is a choice.

tobee · 18/03/2023 21:46

Verylongtime · 18/03/2023 21:04

Mothering Sunday seems to have gradually morphed into Mother’s Day. It was a quiet church Sunday when I was little. Mothering Sunday doesn’t have much to do with mothers, though there was a bit of a nod, so it’s all a bit odd. Mother’s Day is a relatively modern American creation.

Seem to remember from dc Mothering Sunday assemblies it was a Sunday off for servants to return home to their "mother church" once a year to give thanks.

Devoutspoken · 18/03/2023 21:47

And how did Christmas start

Coffeellama · 18/03/2023 21:48

MooseBreath · 18/03/2023 21:22

I think it's good to have a day to appreciate mothers. It's a thankless, selfless job with no breaks.

I don't expect much from my DH and children, but I want them to acknowledge my efforts and take the load off my shoulders for once.

If being a mother is thankless and has no breaks then you and your DH are doing it wrong. He clearly needs to be doing more all year round and you not just on the one day.

Devoutspoken · 18/03/2023 21:50

What like breakfast in bed every day? Give over

Coffeellama · 18/03/2023 21:50

Coffeellama · 18/03/2023 21:48

If being a mother is thankless and has no breaks then you and your DH are doing it wrong. He clearly needs to be doing more all year round and you not just on the one day.

Show quote history

Damn typo, doing more all year round and not just on the one day. No reason why you can expect more and have breaks if you find it thankless.

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