To think Mother’s Day is commercialised bulls**t?

[Trainsonline23]

I just don’t get it. I realise mothers want to feel valued and appreciated, but this focus on this one day, the ‘hallmark’ quality of it all, is just so off putting. I think of all the women who are despairing in their struggle to become mothers, and those who have lost their own mother, and I just think the whole thing is pretty tacky. A bit like Valentines day.

and I’m a mother and my mother is around etc

The angsty threads have started already and it's not even the day yet

I don’t think it’s tacky.
There’s nothing wrong with a day of extra appreciation.

Imo it just seems a bit depressing to have a life criticising every little thing and not marking any special day.

I mean, are we actually now in "takes one to know one" playground territory.

Your question is basically AIBU to have an opinion. No, you're not. But I think you're a massive kill joy because you know it doesnt have to be commercialised but people will always look to profit. Dont like it, dont do it.

Most people, including those you feel so sorry for, manage to just carry on with their lives and dont need to start a thread to promote their opinion.

I do find it insulting that you are hanging your opinion that noone should make a fuss about it over people with dead mums and people who cant have kids, when your OP makes clear that those circumstances dont apply to you.

I don’t criticise ‘every little thing.’ You don’t know anything about my other opinions. I do not see the value in mothers day

See, I like that, and it makes sense.
I always give my mum a gift on my birthday, as she was pretty occupied on that date too.

I just don’t understand the emphasis on one day - appreciation should be the current that runs through our lives, not one day a year when you can buy an overpriced bunch of flowers from Tesco. To me, it’s nonsense

I find these types of comments the funniest. It’s almost like they’re desperately trying to convince themselves.
Do you not appreciate your partner/kids/ friends year round because you buy them a gift on your birthday?
What is it about buying someone flowers or a gift or breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day that makes you think they couldn’t possibly be appreciated the rest of the year too?

Easy to just ignore it if that's how you feel

Do you celebrate anything? Surely most things are commercialised these days. Either enjoy it or just ignore it.

I have no idea why my empathy towards people should feel insulting to you. That’s just ridiculous.

Agree wholeheartedly OP

Being a mother / parent is applauded / publicly valued most days. It doesn’t need a special day. There is enough pro-natalism in society.

By all means tell your mum (if you’re lucky enough to have her) how much she means to you and how much you appreciate her. Likewise, if you’re a mum, accept similar and anything nice the day brings

However the performative aspect of it on social media is just over the top and too ‘in your face’ especially if you’re unable to have kids, or have lost your own mum. In a similar way that I wouldn’t post lots of gloating pictures and braggy prose about my home, holidays or car, because I recognise others wouldn’t appreciate it.

Bottom line is - enjoy it for what it is, it’s not a performative competition - and if you’re able to enjoy it in any capacity please recognise how lucky you are ❤️

Yes, the commercial products are commercial bullshit, but that doesn't mean the whole day is meaningless. Just ignore the commercial shite, tell your mother how much you value her*, maybe do something nice (cook her dinner, give her a daffodil you picked in the garden, whateve), and just enjoy time together.

*Unless you don't value her at all (and why should you? She may be awful!). If so, ignore her all day the same as you should any other day.

It's not empathy, its using us to underline your point. That's not empathy.

I’m sorry, but you don’t get to speak on behalf of everyone - just like I clearly don’t. ‘Using you!’ I know several people who struggle with the day. It’s great you don’t

No I love it. Being a mum to multiple kids can be a thankless task a lot of the time and can be monotonous with chores. It’s one day where I can decide where I would like to go most and get the choice, where I am not expected to cook or clear up as much. Where I am given a pass to rest on my own for a bit and where the kids absolutely love choosing something they know I would like or need and wrapping it and gifting it to me. The rest of the year my husband and I share all chores (except he gets his turn off on Father’s Day!)

My mother died when I was ten, don’t have children and I think Mother’s Day is lovely - I utterly despise Christmas though.

Sorry but I absolutely love it! My mum, my sister and I all get together and enjoy being spoilt for once! All the kids , husbands, dads join in and have a fabulous day! To be fair we do same for Father’s Day and anyone’s in families birthday, we love making our loved ones feel special! What’s not to love??

We don't bother with the Hallmark Holidays in our family.

Every celebration day is going to be difficult for some people. There are families out there who lost loved ones at Christmas for example, but we don't think Christmas ought to be cancelled because of it.

I think it's good for young children to learn active appreciation - to experience the responsibility and joy of doing something nice for their mum (and dad on Father's Day).
And for older kids/adults to look back and remember all that was done for them and to make a bit of an effort to do something nice.

I thought it was lovely yesterday, seeing everyone buying flowers and raiding the chocolate aisle at the supermarket. Nice and cheery for a change!

People say this on here about literally every celebration or event, from Xmas to hen dos to weddings to Valentine's Day to Halloween to holidays to baby showers to birthdays....maybe some people like taking joy in things in a different way to you and that's OK. Celebrate how you want to. I think some people could do with looking a bit deeper into why they're so angry/bitter/rude about how other people celebrate?

Makes me feel a bit uncomfortable tbh.

It is a hallmark holiday. We brought back 'Mothering Sunday' during the inter-war period as we wanted a more British alternative to the US Mother's Day.

But... That doesn't mean it can't be nice, or that you have to buy into the comercialised bits.

I was woken by my little boy seeking cuddles. My husband attempted to wrangle him (I helped... 4-year-olds are not good at following instructions!) And I was served a cup of coffee (one touch press on the coffee machine) and some lovingly buttered toast. Perfect!

We're going to pop over with some flowers and a cup of tea to see my mum this morning. Next week, we're having a belated (she's working this weekend) Sunday lunch with my MIL.

If anything is bought, it's a small bunch of flowers from the local florist.

PREACH! 🙌🏼 couldn't agree more!

We had a nice lunch yesterday I got a bunch of flowers and DD shared her macaroon with me (she’s 3 and funny about her macaroons). It wasn’t a big fuss, I struggle to see whats wrong with it.

My husband does make me feel appreciated most of the time, I think he likes doing it to encourage DD to show appreciation. Tbf we go out for lunch every weekend it’s just that I chose where and I got extra cuddles from DD and she really enjoyed giving me my flowers and being thanked profusely for them. It’s small and low key, I think more appreciation and gratitude to our loved ones is always a good thing. It doesn’t have to be a big hoo ha. Most holidays are commercialised now, so what, as long as the sentiment is there and it’s genuine.

I have a shit mum, she’s really awful. My childhood was not good. I was determined to do better with my own DC. Mine are adults now and make a fuss of me on Mother’s Day. It means so much to me that I did better than my own mum did. I can put aside the pain of the past and appreciate the relationship I have with my own DC’s.

Yes, it is the case that we have a great relationship the other 364 days of the year. But to have one specific day to stop and reflect is nice. It’s a special day for me.