Living somewhere you hate. AIBU to want to rent in London?

[Lissaaaaaa]

Moved here for husbands study. We’ve now lived here 5 years. He’s a Doctor so can work anywhere. He is a junior doctor and earns around 32k.
We have two children. I don’t work. childcare costs priced me out Of working.
We’ve lived in several different cities and towns and we are personally happiest in London. We also like Bristol and Bath.
We both agree this place is not for us. It’s deprived, rural, not good schools (unless willing to go private), I don’t drive and public transport is poor. I feel very trapped here as there’s no walking distance facilities.

To live in London we need my Husband to be on at least 70k to buy somewhere. We are therefore stuck here for a few more years until he completes GP training. Unless we rent.
Our eldest is 9. Youngest is a baby.

My husband thinks we should stay here until we can buy a property in London. He says if we move to London and rent we will struggle to find the money to buy. Bristol and Bath aren’t much better property price wise so might as well go for our first choice of London. We’re currently renting. Trying to save a deposit. Our rent here is £500 a month for a lovely two bed place.

I am pretty miserable here to be honest. I’m now wondering if we should move somewhere a bit better (at least with some facilities and good public transport) and buy somewhere cheaper while we try and save for London. I was looking at Liverpool and Manchester.

However my husband says that will be disturbing for our eldest changing schools at that stage of his education. He also says the hassle of buying a house, moving etc somewhere we have no intention to live is not worth it. We’d also not be chain free when we move to London.

I am struggling to live happily somewhere I know will never be home. Where I know I won’t be living. Where I can’t even go to the shop without a bus ( that’s always late and goes every hour). That has no facilities or after school clubs. That’s deprived. We made a mistake moving here and it feels now we’re here we’re stuck.

‘’sometimes I think we should just move to London and rent. In fact I am now sure we should move to London and rent. Even if it’s in a less nice area and small it is at least somewhere with transport, facilities and a vibe.
We know many people in London renting on our income. They get some top up from universal credit, rent somewhere smaller and further out then they need. Accept their income will be spent on rent.
AIBU to want to rent in London?

My husband has good earning potential. His income will go up every year plus he can do agency work to earn more, in 5 years he can be on 100k+ which I feel even with renting will allow us to buy somewhere.

This all just sound so random. Considering Bristol, bath, liverpool, Manchester, London etc.

Imo it’s utterly stupid to move to London as a family of 4 on a 30k household income.

What about family links or friends?

£30k in London would be grim. Especially supporting another adult and 2 kids

Our joint income is more than 30k, and we have no childcare costs - children are school age.

I would absolutely love to live in London.

There's no way in hell I'd move there on our current earnings.

Not grim for us though. We don’t really mind living somewhere a bit small and rough. We just want to live in London.
only consideration is the wasted money on rent.

Where we live now is where our family live. My husbands family are abroad.
friends live in London mainly.
we’ve made no friends here

Your husband is right. If you start renting in London on a £30k income, you'll be be renting for life. Everything here is expensive plus 50% on top. I know you are unhappy but I think you need to rethink London as a location.

If you have a car, get in it and get travelling. Sometimes your ideal spot is nowhere near where you think it is.

I live in London and the novelty wore off years ago. Once my daughter finishes her A levels, we'll be putting our (tiny, expensive) flat on the market. Lots of my colleagues and friends are leaving too. It's a miserable expensive existence.

30k for a family of four in London is going to be a horrible struggle.

Are you aware of what a 2 bed would cost to rent vs what you are paying now?

Probably not what you want to hear but be patient, sounds like you have a bright future with your husbands career.

£500 rent is great. Live within your means and buy somehere when the salary allows in a few years. Living somewhere you dislike is hard but easier if it is temporary.

Being in London I’m on that salary is not fun. Not fun at all. No point having everything nearby if you can’t afford it.

I don’t think you are being at all realistic. Have you seen how much renting a two bed in London would actually cost??

Don't do it. You'll only be able to afford a rough flat and won't be able to afford to do anything.

@Lissaaaaaa are you in Truro??

Move to Liverpool, good transport good nightlife reasonable housing costs. Get on the property ladder now wherever you are.

If you’re that miserable you could get a job and learn to drive?

childcare would only be for a couple of years if your youngest is a baby. You could at least look at part time, or evenings/weekends.

does your husband work shifts?

why is it all on him to earn more and enable your lifestyle?

do you have any plans to contribute when your children are older?

So many GPs are reducing hours or leaving the profession, I wouldn't pin all your hopes on your husband earning the maximum salary to buy a London house. It's a big responsibility to be the sole earner with a large mortgage, and he is in a profession that is losing lots of GPs for various reasons.

If you can't drive, I would move somewhere with better public transport and things in walking distance (unless you can learn to drive). There are loads of places that would be a better fit than where you are now, but aren't as expensive as London.

Don't be miserable for years focusing on a future move to London. Have a sensible think about what would suit your family better, where you can afford, and visit places.

I would really try to avoid choosing an area where you spend all your money on rent, and aren't saving anything. Renting long term will have a huge effect on your family finances.

Also you say you don't mind living in a bad area- when your child is a teenager, the area they live in, school they attend and friends they make there will have a HUGE influence on their life direction.

No don’t do it. You’ll trap yourself into renting forever. Stay where you are and save for a deposit. Also you need to start working as soon as your child reaches nursery age if you want to save /move more quickly.

IF the OP is somewhere like Truro then she's right. And finding a part time job here is rare. We're still in a "Mums shouldn't work" region and recruitment agencies are not afraid to tell you that "having children has ruined your career"....

Also it's very difficult to book driving lessons here. There's still a covid backlog.

Some places in the UK are still decades behind the rest so be kind unless you know OPs details x

Whilst I understand the desire to move, I dont see how you can possibly afford to live in London. Have you checked out the rent for 2 bedroom properties?. In fact, £500 rent sounds like an absolute steal and im not sure where you would find that in the other cities youve mentioned.

She’s been there 5 years and had a baby in that time. She had 4 years while her eldest was at school to learn to drive, including before covid.

sometimes you need to take responsibility and be proactive in making changes to achieve what you want.

Learn to drive

You wouldn't be able to live in London as a family of four on £32k. It's just not do-able. A 2-bed property to rent would be over half your husband's monthly salary, not including bills.

Even people that love London are unlikely to say they'd live anywhere in London.

The most sensible time to move would be before your child starts secondary school so catchment areas are really going to matter.

Are there not better connected parts of the region that you are currently in you could move to?

I couldn’t afford to live in London on 30k back in 2002 on my own, let alone now… you could barely pay rent even in the mankiest areas. Wait til husband is on the big bucks then go - but Bath or Bristol is still much cheaper. You can get decent family houses there for 400k which would be v tough in London unless you’re way out in zone 59293.