Living somewhere you hate. AIBU to want to rent in London?

[Lissaaaaaa]

Moved here for husbands study. We’ve now lived here 5 years. He’s a Doctor so can work anywhere. He is a junior doctor and earns around 32k.
We have two children. I don’t work. childcare costs priced me out Of working.
We’ve lived in several different cities and towns and we are personally happiest in London. We also like Bristol and Bath.
We both agree this place is not for us. It’s deprived, rural, not good schools (unless willing to go private), I don’t drive and public transport is poor. I feel very trapped here as there’s no walking distance facilities.

To live in London we need my Husband to be on at least 70k to buy somewhere. We are therefore stuck here for a few more years until he completes GP training. Unless we rent.
Our eldest is 9. Youngest is a baby.

My husband thinks we should stay here until we can buy a property in London. He says if we move to London and rent we will struggle to find the money to buy. Bristol and Bath aren’t much better property price wise so might as well go for our first choice of London. We’re currently renting. Trying to save a deposit. Our rent here is £500 a month for a lovely two bed place.

I am pretty miserable here to be honest. I’m now wondering if we should move somewhere a bit better (at least with some facilities and good public transport) and buy somewhere cheaper while we try and save for London. I was looking at Liverpool and Manchester.

However my husband says that will be disturbing for our eldest changing schools at that stage of his education. He also says the hassle of buying a house, moving etc somewhere we have no intention to live is not worth it. We’d also not be chain free when we move to London.

I am struggling to live happily somewhere I know will never be home. Where I know I won’t be living. Where I can’t even go to the shop without a bus ( that’s always late and goes every hour). That has no facilities or after school clubs. That’s deprived. We made a mistake moving here and it feels now we’re here we’re stuck.

‘’sometimes I think we should just move to London and rent. In fact I am now sure we should move to London and rent. Even if it’s in a less nice area and small it is at least somewhere with transport, facilities and a vibe.
We know many people in London renting on our income. They get some top up from universal credit, rent somewhere smaller and further out then they need. Accept their income will be spent on rent.
AIBU to want to rent in London?

My husband has good earning potential. His income will go up every year plus he can do agency work to earn more, in 5 years he can be on 100k+ which I feel even with renting will allow us to buy somewhere.

Op I think you need to find a happy middle ground. Could you move nearer to a town where the transport links are better?
As for your dh saying it would disrupt your eldest education now, he’s wrong! IMO!! Now is the best time to move before secondary school starts.
Are you able to learn to drive? No medical conditions stopping you? I think you would find it useful if you can.

You’ll likely be spending 15k/over a year in rent alone.
we spend over £20k and it’s a 2 bed in a not extremely nice area, zone 3 east

If you are unhappy living where you are , then that is a good enough reason to move. Not sure that London would work that well on a salary of 32k. You could get a small 2 bed flat in Wood Green or somewhere similar for about £1700 pm, not in a nice area tbh.
But transport is great, schools are good, you won't need to drive and you'd probably be able to get some kind of work yourself. There's lots of free stuff to do, and everything you need on your doorstep.If you could get UC then it might be worth it.
Liverpool is also quite buzzing, don't know about schools or transport links there but it's so much cheaper than London.

I was on £32k in London in 2007. I was renting a large three bed flat with two friends in Camberwell, South London.

I had a nice enough life - went out, saved a bit, was paying off my student loan, had a few city breaks a year. But I did have to watch the pennies a little. Doing it on the same salary 15 years later with two children and a non working spouse would be pretty tough.

Would you be eligible for any key worker housing schemes that might make living in or closer to London possible?

And obviously as I was sharing the rent and bills with two other working adults it was cheaper than it would be for the same size household with only one working adult. Our "household" income was probably more like £90k. Although that doesn't directly map on to a family income, as adult sharers do not share costs of things like food and tend to use more energy than a same sized family unit.

It would be a lot worse than a bit small or grim. A family of 4 and 30k in London means no day trips because when the tube is too expensive, no treats for the kids, struggling to keep up with kids growing out of clothes, trying to make a tiny food budget stretch the week, your husband will probably have to get 3 buses to work because a travel card is too expensive.
I struggled in London renting in a flat share on 30 k, it’s not realistic for a family of 4.

She has a baby ffs.

Forget London, on that salary 20 years ago I was flat-sharing with 2 other (paying) adults, and still not saving very much at all.

My single childfree friend lives in London on that salary and he can only afford a room in a shared house. How on earth will you afford to rent a 2 bedroom place?

Jesus just get a car

Im guessing you haven’t lived in London before as a family? Unless you’re very well off (I’m talking considerably more than 100k) it can be hard to buy somewhere decent close to a school you like

stay where you are, get a car - try and appreciate what you do have - play the long game. Buying and selling is a pin in the arse and not everyone makes money out of it so I would be reluctant to buy anywhere you don’t intended to stay in for at least 10 years

OP I really sympathise with you but I'm afraid it's not at all realistic to rent in London on one income of 32K. If you put that in the affordability calculators (which everyone uses) that only qualifies you for rent of £1050/month, you're not going to find a 2BR for that even in the outer zones.

I would suggest moving to Liverpool, which has the city life you want but a lot cheaper, so even if you rent for a few years you can still save, especially when the youngest is 3 and you can go back to work.

It sounds like by the time your husband is earning enough to buy anywhere your eldest will be in secondary, that is not a good time to move.

Maybe she can't learn to drive? Not everyone can.

The 30k is only temporary (literally a year) and it will increase but obviously won’t increase much until he’s in speciality training. he can bump it up with agency work but that’s not permanent income.
I did consider moving somewhere at least with transport options but it seems to defeat the object as I’d be still moving somewhere I don’t want.
‘I’ve lived in many different cities. I hated Manchester. Quite liked Liverpool but schools aren’t so good and high crime.

main thing for us is facilities of walking difference and decent schools.

I can’t drive due to disability but even if I could there’s a two year waiting list here for driving lessons.

I know in a few years I can afford London and it’s where we want to be. So not sure I want to move anywhere else really. seems to defeat the object a bit.

‘’I want a stable life for my eldest now where he can make friends.

I think overall I feel really trapped here without a car.

@Ovidnaso
Lots of women with babies manage to work, don't know what century you're living in.

You’d get help with the rent on 30k and presumably your husbands earnings will increase dramatically over the years. Rent for now. I live near london and love living here. Even with the expensive rents / house prices

thank you. I have a disability that means I’d not be safe to drive.

@DelphiniumBlue do you know Liverpool ?
I think a lot on here have no idea how much prices in naice areas of the north have exploded.

I loved it to when there. It was amazing.
oddly I think renting we’d do better on the lower income. As his income increases we’d have to pay more ourselves.
but I feel you only live once.

Yes but not all regions in the UK give jobs to women with babies / caring responsibilities. It's very sad and yes these regions are decades behind others but that isn't the OPs fault.

You get an interview here (cornwall) and the interviewer / recruiter will have no shame in asking "why should we give you the role if we had applicants with no responsibilities?"

Again, I repeat - not the OPs fault. I know people who have been hunting for a role for months.

Yes and this would solve all our issues. He is entitled to NHS accommodation which is hugely subsidised but at the moment it’s full.
he does apply for jobs and then accommodation and if we get this we’re off 😀

@Lissaaaaaa do what it takes to move. Don't become stuck like I am! 😂

The only cheapish area of london i know is manor park...its grim or you go south east...eltham etc....also grim.

Yes it’s a similar area. They won’t employ mothers with pre school children here even though they can’t admit it. Well some will but it’s an old fashioned area so it’s harder.
‘childcare means I’d be working for nothing though. We worked it out. So not worth me working at the moment,