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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Unsure what to do (daughter can't pee)

291 replies

Jourdain11 · 18/03/2023 09:04

Not really an AIBU, unless IAU for not taking her straight to A&E, but I'm wondering if anyone has ever come across something like this? My 10-yeqr-old daughter (who has OCD and can get a bit stressed about going to the toilet) has woken up this morning and "can't pee". She feels like she needs to go but nothing is coming out.

Has anyone ever come across something like this and if so, what did you do? She seems otherwise okay - no temperature, etc. She seems uncomfortable, but not in agony or anything.

Maybe I am being unreasonable in not running her straight to hospital - but I suspect it's going to right itself, although I will follow up because it seems very odd. She has T1 diabetes and OCD as I said, but I don't particularly see how this could be related.

OP posts:
Led9519 · 18/03/2023 14:04

Hope she’s ok!

JeepersCreeperrs · 18/03/2023 14:06

Urine retention required a catheter. Hospital OP.

CustardySergeant · 18/03/2023 14:07

JeepersCreeperrs · 18/03/2023 14:06

Urine retention required a catheter. Hospital OP.

Already there. RTFT

DaughterOfGaia · 18/03/2023 14:09

I had this problem and it can't last long without emergency care. Get her seen immediately!

Annastacia1 · 18/03/2023 14:09

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

RampantIvy · 18/03/2023 14:10

Why do posters just read the first post and don't even bother to read the OP's updates.

SHE HAS TAKEN HER DAUGHTER TO HOSPITAL

Untitledsquatboulder · 18/03/2023 14:11

JeepersCreeperrs · 18/03/2023 14:06

Urine retention required a catheter. Hospital OP.

And giving pertinent advice requires you to read the thread, or at least the OP's posts.

MeinKraft · 18/03/2023 14:13

Jourdain11 · 18/03/2023 11:32

Got here and checked in and triaged and she will be seen as a first priority apparently. It's come to light that she's been having trouble weeing for a couple of weeks but she didn't want to tell anyone! I feel bad that I didn't realise, it's worrying what could be causing it as well.

You have nothing to feel bad about, you're not a mind reader and you're not a doctor. You took swift action when it became clear it was needed and that's the important thing!

Dressinggownday · 18/03/2023 14:15

RampantIvy · 18/03/2023 14:10

Why do posters just read the first post and don't even bother to read the OP's updates.

SHE HAS TAKEN HER DAUGHTER TO HOSPITAL

You can't select to read OP's updates if you're accessing MN via the app on an android phone. It doesn’t have that function.

Azandme · 18/03/2023 14:18

Dressinggownday · 18/03/2023 14:15

You can't select to read OP's updates if you're accessing MN via the app on an android phone. It doesn’t have that function.

You can if you click here. This is on my Samsung.

Unsure what to do (daughter can't pee)
Untitledsquatboulder · 18/03/2023 14:19

Dressinggownday · 18/03/2023 14:15

You can't select to read OP's updates if you're accessing MN via the app on an android phone. It doesn’t have that function.

And does the App make it impossible to scroll through a thread too?

RampantIvy · 18/03/2023 14:20

Dressinggownday · 18/03/2023 14:15

You can't select to read OP's updates if you're accessing MN via the app on an android phone. It doesn’t have that function.

I have an Android phone. I access MN on my browser. I don't use the app.

pontipinemum · 18/03/2023 14:24

I'm glad she is getting help and hopefully all is sorted soon.

Some people are being very unkind. I like to think I have a 'regular' understanding of basic medical needs no more or less than your average person. I would not have been going straight to A&E with her either. I'd have done what you did with trying to gently encourage her to pee.

percypal · 18/03/2023 14:26

Without the diabetes I’d be agreeing people were being unkind and OTT but it changes things.

ChesapeakeFan · 18/03/2023 14:27

@NCforHairC
what a sanctimonious and snide response.

I hope she is ok OP. I’m obviously lacking in common sense and basic medical
knowledge too because I wouldn’t have realised this was a medical emergency.

I've already said above that I accepted I worded it badly but this is exactly the point I was trying to make. I said I wasn't going to say anything further because I can see I'm going to dig myself into a further hole but given that no one seems to have registered that I accepted my wording was unfortunate I will explain what I meant further.

You only know what you know - what is obvious to one person for whatever
reason (whether that is their life experience, education level, medical
training) may be completely unknown to another person through no fault
of their own.

This in turn makes anyone reliant on anyone else very vulnerable to their level of knowledge. It applies to us all.

I'm afraid I do think that you are lacking basic medical knowledge if you don't realise that a 10 year old child who hasn't urinated since the night before and is actively wanting to urinate, is trying to urinate (that is key) but cannot has problem that needs medical attention and urgently. You know yourself that if you go to sleep and wake in the morning you want to urinate because your bladder has continued to fill over night.

It is common sense - your body is filtering waste liquid into the bladder. At a very basic common sense level - just think about it - what do you think is going to happen if it isn't coming out? It will just continue to fill, pressure will build in the bladder and abdomen plus you have stale waste material just sitting there. Does that sound healthy or safe? It's highly likely it will need catherisation but on any view needs medical attention. There is no point in waiting because it isn't a case of the child not wanting to go; she wanted to and was actively trying. Again applying logic, this is most likely to be some structural issue (including a blockage) or a problem with nerve messaging. On the face of it, there isn't any reason to think that this is something likely to resolve with any time.

My point about vulnerability applies to adults as well. For example, if you have a heart attack or a stroke when you are with one other person your outcome maybe very different if they realise it is an emergency quickly or not.

The same is true with children. If you don't realise that any particular issue is a matter of emergency, it may have devastating consequences depending on how long you leave it.

OP here did the right thing and went to A&E. I stand by what I said that I'm genuinely surprised there wasn't a faster realisation of the need for this but I apologise for my wording if it came across as snide because it wasn't what I intended.

FUSoftPlay · 18/03/2023 14:27

RampantIvy · 18/03/2023 14:20

I have an Android phone. I access MN on my browser. I don't use the app.

me too? What’s your point?

RampantIvy · 18/03/2023 14:33

To not bother using the apo, obviously.

NaomhPadraigin · 18/03/2023 14:35

Dressinggownday · 18/03/2023 14:15

You can't select to read OP's updates if you're accessing MN via the app on an android phone. It doesn’t have that function.

You could go crazy and actually read the thread??!!!

thaegumathteth · 18/03/2023 14:40

Hope she's ok OP

MercyChant66 · 18/03/2023 14:48

Hope she'll be sorted soon - poor lass. This happened to my daughter around the same age and it turned out to be an impacted bowel preventing her from urinating.

BrutusMcDogface · 18/03/2023 15:10

@ChesapeakeFan i was late to the thread and the op had already gone to A&E but I would definitely have suggested it if I was one of the first posters. Op was sorting out her other children of course.

It is a worry as we are kind of put off going to A&E as we don’t want to cause trouble or waste anyone’s time!

Mumof3teenagers · 18/03/2023 15:12

Hope she’ll get sorted soon. Nothing to feel guilty about op, she didn’t tell you ( as kids often don’t) and you got her seen quickly today.
I hope everything goes ok for ye today.

Clarabella77 · 18/03/2023 15:13

This happened to me when I was in labour and I had to get my bladder physically drained. It was uncomfortable, confusing and a little bit scary. Call 111 or go to a&e. It won't sort itself.

Theunamedcat · 18/03/2023 15:18

Is everyone having reading comprehension issues? It's not thst long a thread fucking read it

SPOILER ALERT

The child is being seen in hospital

WilsonMilson · 18/03/2023 15:18

She has T1 diabetes, I would have taken her straight to A&E! It’s likely to be neurogenic bladder, common in diabetics. Is her diabetes well controlled?
This is likely not a quick fix and you may have to learn to catheterise at home. Good luck, glad you have got her seen, this is not something to mess about with.